whoās gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?
okay
these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction
Oh.
OH
Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

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@lavengale
whoās gonna tell tumblr that executive dysfunction is more than Not Doing Things?
okay
these are the executive functions. impairment of these functions is executive dysfunction
Oh.
OH
Girl, help. None of my executives are functioning

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The tribes of Tumblr appeared to worship Apollo as their primary patron deity, most often under the epithet Apollo Spairahemon ("Apollo the Ball-Thrower") as a god of prophecy and sport. His name was typically invoked to celebrate a user blessed with uncommon prescience. Moments of prophecy were considered highly sacred and were often recorded, and such texts are sometimes accompanied by an artistic depiction of the god ā either his traditional masculine image or, unusually, in the form of a young woman, which appears to have been an earlier style before a conservative shift toward more conventional iconography ā preparing to cast a round rubber ball that our scholars believe was used in the sport known as "dodge ball". Much as other cults regarded his arrows as bringers of disease and health, this community believed that being struck by this ball would bestow prophetic visions.
Some icons are reproduced below:
An earlier depiction (c. 2020) of Apollo as a girl clad in a simple tunic and playing with other children. Figures are smiling and the image is brightly colored, indicating a celebratory outlook toward knowledge of the future.
A later piece (c. 2022) that resembles the traditional appearance of Apollo. References to childhood and play are omitted, and the god carries a more frightening aspect; perhaps this icon represented grim omens rather than good tidings.
Religious studies scholar here. These icons often appear appended to a post at a later date at which the original post has proven to be prescient. The icon is frequently shared without commentary, as it serves a complex and complete semiotic function in and of itself. Its presence acts as an acknowledgement of the god's favor upon the prophet.
The gift of prophecy is universally acknowledged as both blessing and burden. This ambivalence is implied in the symbol of the dodgeball that Apollo uses to physically impact the bodies of his chosen. Even in the playful icon c. 2020, her intended targets are seen bracing for the impact of her hurled gift. The c. 2022 icon is, as noted above, more explicit about the dangers of receiving the god's attention.
In this way, the beliefs of the Tumblrinas (as they are known amongst themselves) are Homeric in nature. Tumblrinas often relate to Apollo's gift of prophecy with a grim sense of irony that echoes the Iliad and Oddessey's treatment of Cassandra.
i hate it when game devs putĀ āfixed several issuesā in patch notesĀ
no. tell me what you fixed. i wanna know what the glitch was.
you know those patch notes that are likeĀ āfixed an issue where if the player sat in a bush for too long, theyād become the size of a skyscraperāĀ
i wanna read those. tell me those.Ā
Adjusted value of Bees. Now that was a special one⦠because every item in the game had a minimum value, and a beehive was a container for bees, which each had a minimum value⦠which meant the moment one of your dwarves picked up a beehive, your entire fortressā net worth skyrocketed⦠a value used in determining how powerful the foes that visit and try to murder you are.
Reblogging for the explanation of what āadjusted value of beesā actually means, because I know several folks following this blog have been wondering.
Okay but youāve all forgotten the best Dwarf Fortress bug of all āFlying creatures give birth in midair, leading to tragedyāĀ
Actually I lied itās the one where after a major update werewolves and vampires started climbing the nearest tree and refusing to come down. It turned out that heād given evil creatures the ability to sense each other, but forgotten to set a maximum range on it, so werewolves were aware Hell was underground and trying to flee by climbingĀ
This has to be my favorite patch note ever
Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"
More from the notes:
I love this post
The horse thinks as it scratches an itch
anger is a pain. treat it like the injury it is:
you feel angry (you feel pain)
stop, take a moment to gather yourself and breathe deeply (stop, take a moment to apply first aid to your wound)
find the root cause of your anger; what brought your anger about and how come? (find what caused your injury; what hurt you, what type of wound?)
what can you do to regain control? try not to fuel the anger with violence; mitigate by being gentle to yourself and others (what can you do to keep you safe from further and future injury? what further treatment do you need? try not to aggravate your wound; be gentle and cautious)
accept you've done all you can, continue to breathe deeply, and find comfort away from anger and violence (accept you have done all you can and continue to take care of yourself)
emphasizing these tags loudly:
Boosting this, in part because this is something I learned over the years, but didn't quite have the words for, and in part beacuse this is just pain good advice

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BRB, starting discourse about how writing fiction in which the necessary preconditions for problematic tropes are present is just as problematic as writing about the tropes themselves. You've got a couple of OCs who are blood relatives? You sick fuck.
There are genuinely people on this very site who will tell you with their full chest that it's problematic for adult authors to write stories whose protagonists are minors, regardless of content or context. I don't need to go knocking ā the Devil is already here.
We just knew.
As a reminder, this is what she looks like:
Also I hope everyone knows that Miette was fostered before she was adopted, and her foster mom loved that little kitten so much and always hoped sheād gone to a good home. this tweet got so popular that she recognized Miette and reached out to her current mom, and was able to share previously unseen baby pictures
You mean, she saw Miette was kicked like the football and did nothing to help put Mother in jail for a thousand years? I am appalled.
her!!!
Baby Miette!!!
Babe wake up new Miette lore just dropped
ITāS MIETTE!!!!
i think some of you dont like narratives or stories or characters i think you just like fanfiction tropes
protagonists can and will be sexist, racist, insensitive, cruel, stupid, etc, especially towards the beginning of a story. these are called character flaws and they are a surprise tool that will lead to narrative fulfillment later
And sometimes "narrative fulfillment" doesn't mean "the character overcomes their flaws" or even "the antihero is punished for their flaws"! sometimes it means the narrative says "wow was that fucked up or what? anyway i'm rod sterling"
I don't think the current "depiction = endorsement" crowd will ever be able to understand this.
Magnets: I want to commit diamagnetic
how did I never once think to use tape fuck
one time as a kid I forcefully shoved two magnets together, and these were the strong magnets my dad used in his shop to pick-up missing little metal bits, and I held them really tightly in the palm of my hand, went up to this one kid who legit said things likeĀ āI think black cats are bad, they should be drownedā and drew crosses on the notebooks of kids if she found out they didnāt go to church, I told herĀ āHey. Iām a witch. If you donāt stop trying to hurt animals and picking on kids, Iāll use my magic to throw you into the skyā, and when she dared to doubt my powers I told her that I had twoĀ ārocksā in my hand that I could send across the playground, then I opened my hand the the magnets shot off in two different directions (we were over in a spot that was empty, so no other kids were around, nobody got hurt), one of them stuck to a drainpipe and the other stuck to a fence. This kid SCREAMED, and ran to the office, and I guess had her mom pick her up from school, and then she wasnāt there for a couple of days, finally her mom called my house and claimed I hadĀ ātraumatized her daughter by performing a terrifying magic trickā, and when my parents asked what I did I just said āI showed her a magnet and she flipped out. Sheās not gonna be happy when she finds out about gravity, eitherā. eventually this kid came back to school and always made a point to come up to me and say āHey, my mom told me not to talk to you!ā, and would just be likeĀ āGood job, you already screwed that upā
Holy shit
Oh my god this is so fucking funny
10/10 story would read again and recommend to others
one of the best academic paper titles
for those who don't speak academia: "according to our MRI machine, dead fish can recognise human emotions. this suggests we probably should look at the results of our MRI machine a bit more carefully"
I hope everyone realises how incredibly important this dead fish study is. This was SO fucking important.
I still donāt understand
So basically, in the psych and social science fields, researchers would (I don't know if they still do this, I've been out of science for awhile) sling around MRIs like microbiolosts sling around metagenomic analyses. MRIs can measure a lot but people would use them to measure 'activity' in the brain which is like... it's basically the machine doing a fuckload of statistics on brain images of your blood vessels while you do or think about stuff. So you throw a dude in the machine and take a scan, then give him a piece of chocolate cake and throw him back in and the pleasure centres light up. Bam! Eating chocolate makes you happy, proven with MRI! Simple!
These tests get used for all kinds of stuff, and they get used by a lot of people who don't actually know what they're doing, how to interpret the data, or whether there's any real link between what they're measuring and what they're claiming. It's why you see shit going around like "men think of women as objects because when they look at a woman, the same part of their brain is active as when they look at a tool!" and "if you play Mozart for your baby for twenty minutes then their imagination improves, we imaged the brain to prove it!" and "we found where God is in the brain! Christians have more brain activity in this region than atheists!"
There are numerous problems with this kind of science, but the most pressing issue is the validity of the scans themselves. As I said, there's a fair bit of stats to turn an MRI image into 'brain activity', and then you do even more stats on that to get your results. Bennett et. al.'s work ran one of these sorts of experiments, with one difference -- they used a dead salmon instead of living human subjects. And they got positive results. The same sort of experiment, the same methodology, the same results that people were bandying about as positive results. According to the methodology in common use, dead salmon can distinguish human facial expressions. Meaning one of two things:
Dead salmon can recognise human facial expressions. OR
Everyone else's results are garbage also, none of you have data for any of this junk.
I cannot overstate just how many papers were completely fucking destroyed by this experiment. Entire careers of particularly lazy scientists were built on these sorts of experiments. A decent chunk of modern experimental neuropsychology was resting on it. Which shows that science is like everything else -- the best advances are motivated by spite.
90% of "teen brain" science is based on MRI bullshit also. these fish just disproved "brain stops developing at 25", as if it needed disproving again. well done fish

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You think āoh it would be useful to learn how to identify my thrifted yarn and clothingā and before you know it youāve been recruited by fiber witches giving out their spells willy nilly, again
TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces.
via reddit.com
how are they even alive
eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs
#I WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are so picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking PoisonĀ (@reyroace)
oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because
1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyoneās doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
2) idiots canāt die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smokerās lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em
by the way i never elaborated onĀ ākoalas sit in trees all day screamingā but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound likeĀ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmeBQVQIsTU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0cAx1jLbJk
Also, it doesnāt matter that theyāre eating brain-killing poison, because their brains are already tiny, and smooth rather than folded they way most animal brains are to increase neuron surface area. Also full of holes? These animals are so fuckin dumb, theyāre basically like if vertebrates tried to evolve a scale insect.
Fucking dumbasses I love them
so theyāre the terrestrial equivalent of sunfish?
im crying omg
Whatās the bird equivalent
WITHOUT A DOUBT it is the kakapo, the cutest yet worst-evolutionarily-pranked bird in existenceĀ
i believe there are only 148 of them left ON EARTH (and they all have names!!! like Felix and Guapo and Gumboots its CHARMING) because they evolved with zero natural predators and therefore are FLIGHTLESS but sometimes FORGET THEY ARE FLIGHTLESS and jump out of treesĀ
their natural instinct when faced with danger is to justā¦freeze and not moveā¦.which is basically one tiny step above just walking into the hungry maw of the invasive cat/ferret/rat/raccoon/etc etcĀ
they are also Very Bad at mating and, oh btw, mate only ONCE EVERY 5 YEARS OR SO when one particular berry (the Rimu fruit) has a good yearĀ
anyway they are the worlds heaviest parrot and only flightless one, can weigh like 4kg/9 pounds (BIG FRIEND), and if they can avoid being blissful evolutionary dum dums can live 60 TO 100 YEARS if only they can keep it together, bless themĀ
Oh my god
It is illegal for me to not include this videoĀ
They donāt āforget how to flyā - Kakapoās will climb trees and then yes, jump to then glide down. Its not always elegant.
I donāt think people understand how the kakapo literally evolved to suit itās enviroment and it was super well adapted!!!! Until settlers brought cats and dogs and foxes because NEW ZEALAND HAS NO NATURAL MAMMILIAN PREDATORS because birds like the kakapo and the kiwi only had to worry about like, hawks and eagles. And thatās it. Theyāre not dumb! Theyāre not evolutionarily backwards! They are literally dying out because of introduced species killing them that they naturally have no defense against!
If you only had to worry about flying birds, you wouldnāt have to worry about anything finding you by scent; which means you can afford to be slow and conserve energy. Kakapos freeze when they meet a predator because their plumage is super suited to blending in seamlessly to its natural habitat. If your predator uses sight to track prey and if that prey can camouflage then buddy!! Thatās a good defense mechanism!!
People often assume that evolution is a process like levelling an RPG character into an unkillable god.
It is not.
Evolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.
Meet the skimmer.
Skimmers have evolved to fly along the surface of the water with their lower bill partly underwater, grabbing whatever they bump into.
This is a completely ridiculous means of feeding and nothing besides the three skimmer species does it. Dragging their bills through the water creates huge amounts of drag, so they need more energy to fly than usual and specialised skull and neck adaptations to avoid ripping their own heads off. Skimmers also cannot see what their bills touch underwater, they just stick them in the water and hope for the best while trying not to crash into stuff and break their bills (which happens).
Skimmers are exactly as ridiculous as koalas but by god theyāre going to do their thing.
āEvolution is basically a guy who puts character builds together for the sole purpose of exploiting the game mechanics for funsies.ā is one of the best descriptions of evolution i ever heard. It doesnāt matter if your build is a joke build, it just has to work.Ā A good part of the fun in studying evolutionary biology is finding out HOW IN HELL do these joke builds actually work. Everyone can look at a wolf and sayĀ āwhat a perfect predator, the terror of every herbivore, i stanā, but finding out why his distant cousin, the maned wolf, decided to walk on stilts,eat berries and practiced whatās basically ant-assisted agricolture? Thatās when the fun begins.
the more you look into evolution the weirder it gets, tracking genes makes things look even odder, in short species are overly specialized poorly designed trash fires that work great
š I love this post. Biology, evolution, genes/genetics, WTFuckery, joke builds. I also feel badly for the lil (big?) birds who were suited to what they had and then kinda got fucked over by invaders. I have read about quite a few species who got whammied like that.
Unfortunately, I am now slightly morbidly curious about the insides of koalas and how toxic they are. I did know they were smooth-brained, particular to the point of idiocy regarding food source, and poisoning, but not the mental image of corrupted insides. Thatās just⦠disturbing.
Yeah all the points in this thread about evolution not having a master plan and most animals being well adapted for their environment even when it seems ridiculous to us are extremely valid. But koalas are fucking absurd and fly in the face of every argument about intelligent design any smoothbrain ever came up with, so OP is also valid.
You've always enjoyed working magic and especially entertaining the children of the village with colourful spells and small illusions. When one day mages from the royal academy visited, they noticed one of your shows and insisted on taking you with them back to the capital.
The young man wore simple clothing, perhaps in an attempt to blend in with the other villagers. You didn't see much point in that, even without the robes, he stuck out like a rose in a daisy field. He dodged clumsily around the other villagers, kept his arms pressed close to his sides, watched his every step, lest he touch something unpleasant with his shoe.
The other adults in the village were content to let you entertain the little ones for an hour or so. They didn't much care what you were doing, as long as it wasn't dangerous. The man though, was rooted in place, staring with barely concealed fascination.
In between the lights and sparkles, you quickly manifested a few doves and watched as the young man nearly toppled over, following the birds with his eyes. Ha, how nostalgic.
āaverage person eats 3 spiders a yearā factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo weāve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and itās revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.
Might I add:
The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how theyād be to be executed
The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child
The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
The adventures of a space roomba
Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)
I donāt know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head
hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):
The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
The Monster of Sentan
The Witchās Cat
Raise Both Children
Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
Pirates and Mermaid
Eindred and the Witch
The Demon King
The Cornerwitch
Grandmother Beetroot
Apocalypse Daycare Worker
Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
New Year Saga
A Story About Changelings
Ranger in the Kingās Forest
The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
Goblin Men (Canines)
I am in love with you /p
Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella
21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship
22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how theyād be to be executed
adding the Doctors Without Borders one
I LOVE tumblr storytime, so hereās a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!
24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children
25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard
26. Haunted house
27. Shark hero was about to go rogue
28. Grandma lives in the woods comic
29. A Different Aftermath comic
30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)
31. Itās A Date comic
32. Supervillian kidnaps rivalās kid and they want to stay
33. Narrative Town
34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic
35. Robot Apocalypse
36. The Statues That Do Not Weather
37. Kushiel
38. Tooth Fairy
39. Alien abduction
40. Felonious wish-granting
41. When humans met actual space orcs
42. Space cousins
WAIT REBLOG THIS VERSION INSTEAD
its not a book nor banned but honestly? unknown stories or those cherished by few are also important so here.
Also adding a couple of my favorites! Long Forgotten God and the kindergarten class
Angels and Demons accidental sandwich
May I add:
45. Intergalactic Red Cross
46. Being Villagers
47. The monster under the fridge
48. Humans are the only species with a concept of vengeance
49. The Blue Key
50. Different stories resonate with different people comic
51. Whalefall horror comic
52. The Fox God comic
53. The Stone of Possibility
54. Worthless War
Wait I have more: (including many from the notes)
55. A Pool in the Heart of the Forest (comic)
56. I am asking you to endure it (+notes)
57. You Help Kill Heroes
58. The witch who raised herself
59. My pilot is good
60. Hsthete (comic)
61. Variations on the Frog and the Scorpion
62. The monster under the bed
63. Cleric slamming healing spells (microstory)
64. The Priest of Arepo
65. The Villain Wrangler
66. Old Gods vs Aliens
67. Last Contact
68. Dragon on a farm
69. Antler Guy
70. Bakery with mythical customers
71. āPort
72. The king prophesied to defeat evil
73. The Night Gentlemen
74. In love with a sphynx
75. A fae asks for your name
76. Once their home
77. When you die in the ocean (comic)
78. Toad Words
79. Kisses and Curses (comic)
80. And the Heavens Wept
81. Healer kicked out of the party
Also ātumblr storytimeā is such a cute thing to call it

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Could Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz solve the Kira murders?
Could catch Kira, would survive
Could not catch Kira, would survive
Could catch Kira, would not survive
Could not catch Kira, would not survive
Oh, the comments are GOLD
Great job everyone
phineas and ferb heritage post
"that doesn't sound sincere- it sounds rehearsed" is one of the most devastating and fucked-up statements you can make to anyone in the neurodivergent/ADHD/Autistic/Schizophrenic/Disordered Personality sphere. yeah bitch it's rehearsed. because i wanted to get it right when i said it
Iāve recently discovered how much better life can be when we normalize this. My best friend and I have started saying āhang on, Iām scriptingā when we need a minute to mentally rehearse during big conversations (and ābear with me, Iām doing improvā when weāve reached the end of our script and start to struggle with words lol)