anotjcal

Just like us in real life I think Kaeya loved one’s once thought that pierro was his dad

Because look they both are dramatic bitches with a similar style and love of fur. He’s also the only other member of Kaeya home country around and let’s be honest dainslief is NOT Kaeyas dad so it’s got to be the director.

However they never asked Kaeya about it because knowing him he would lie and they would be bringing up a sensitive topic. So Kaeya has no idea that they believe that his dad is a harbinger

So half of Mondstadt has a one sided hate of pierro for something he didn’t do. It’s like a open secret to everyone whose not involved in the secret and everyone feels bad for Kaeya because that his dad

On Father’s Day Kaeya has no clue why we gone looks at him so sympathetically like yes he knowss he’s being orpahaned x2 but like you don’t need to act like that stuff happens yesterday. All while diluc and Jean are trying to protect him from mentions of who they think is his biodad

This also only fuels diluc hate for the fatui because not only do they abandon his baby brother in the side of the road but as soon as he finally gets a good father THEY KILL HIM. Those fatui have got to go

He’s not the only one. At one point Varka said to Capitano that “maybe Pierre should spend less time collecting gnosis and more time paying his child support”

And Capitano is just like ???????

They sneak insults for pierro into their daily conversation. Like Jean gives like a speech

“Okay guys we have to be very careful with the harbingers because they are tricky, cunning, manipulative-“

And Amber chips in with a “And a dead beat dads”

Which Jean responds with “and dead beat dads who don’t pay child support”

All while Kaeya is thinking “wait when did he have kids?”

Childe obviously would.

Signora must have known about it given she was stationed in Mondstadt for so long. I feel like she had to have believed it if for no other reason than if she hadn't she would have brought it up to Pierro in a meeting just to see his reaction Infront of the others.

Did Capitano die thinking his commander abandoned his son?

Wanderer probably is unaware but I feel like he would call bullshit.

Dottore knows but I can go either way with him on believing. Perhaps his segments used to fight over it before they were destroyed.

Pantalone and Pulcinella probably don't know or care.

Arlecchino knows of the rumour but Idk if she believes it.

Signora is just waiting for that day that she can use this against pierro. Like as in threatening to tell his secret child where he lives if Pierro doesn’t give her the day off. She also probably wants to make Kaeya call her aunty Signora.

Columbina totally believes whole heartedly that Kaeya is Pierro’s son while sandrone screams at her “THAT DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE” every single counterpoint sandrone brings up to Columbina, she counters it with a even more ridiculous claim

“Okay that means pierro would have a wife which he doesn’t so that can’t be his kid”

Columbina then would explain mpreg to her

The dottore segments however are trying to end this debate once and for all by trying to take samples from Kaeya and Pierro to compare them. Yes they also have a betting pool for what will the result show. They honestly are also impressed that Kaeya even exists in the widest place in account of the curse

I feel like Pantalone would hear about this through one of the segment however he doesn’t believe that Kaeya is pierro kid because that would imply that Pierro had sex which Pantalone can’t believe

Wanderer is also team “there is no way in hell anyone would want to fuck Pierro” however in a weird turn of events he is conceived that CAPITANO is actually Kaeya’s dad. That’s why he is hiding his face, he doesn’t want to anyone to recognize him so he doesn’t have to pay child support.

Arlechinno is 50/50 on whether or not this theory has any merit. Columbina and sandrone are now trying to get her of their respective sides. Whether that be through cold hard facts or simply telling her “this makes sandrone really angry and that’s funny”

Childe definitely believes Pierro to be the type to walk out of his sons life in order to “go get the cigarettes” he’s quite ashamed of Pierro for not being in his sons life and he WILL make jabs at him for it. Pierro has no idea what’s he talking about

Dainsleif, quite possibly the only person who knows the correct answer besides Kaeya and Pierro themselves, sits in silence in the back and watches in unspoken DELIGHT as the various harbingers debate the knights on the logistics

Dainsleif chooses to keep quiet because number 1. he doesn’t fw with Kaeya much so he finds this hilarious, number 2. he doesn’t fw Pierro much either, and number 3. he hasn’t gotten khaenri’ahn court drama in 500 years he’s nostalgic and quite gossip deprived (and partially wishing he had Vedrfolnir to gossip with about if Pierro had a secret / illegitimate child)

it’s red string and everything, for the first time they are combining their resources and theories

"Oh how original you drew Childe yearning again" WHATEVERRRR SHHHH SHHHHH WHATEVER

My friend is making custom merch again and I'm leaching off their shipping fee. So. Lenticular card Chaeya

Traveler: it could’ve been worse, atleast he didn’t go insane trying to fix everything with the abyss and kill himself

Diluc;

Dainsleif regularly debates whether to get involved but can't decide if the ethical thing would be to try and get him sober or make him worse.

Is the Alcohol somehow holding off the abyssal taint?

-------------------------------------

Kaeya stared at the paper in front of him in horror.

Adoption. No, no, hold on. It wasn't supposed to go this far. He wasn't— He can't—

He can't be family. Not like this. Referring to Diluc as his brother, calling Master Crepus his father— That's different. It's different because it wasn't real. It was just verbal. 

But now it could be. 

He raised his head to see expectant pairs of eyes staring back at him. Warm and hopeful eyes.

Kaeya can't do it. He can't do it he can't he can't—

How was he supposed to turn on them? On people who had done nothing but love him since the second he fell into their arms? Held on so tightly that Kaeya forgot what it felt like to be alone?

“You can't take this back,” Kaeya whispered. He couldn’t cry, he shouldn't. But there's no denying the ache he feels and his steadily blurring vision. 

He could see both their smiles slowly dim.

“What do you mean?” Crepus asked, voice no louder than his own.

Kaeya could feel his hands shaking when he took an unsteady inhale. “You— It’ll make it difficult,”

Crepus never stopped staring at him with those gentle and loving and so unfairly patient eyes.

“I'm… afraid I'm not following, bug. What do you mean?”

Kaeya felt himself grow unreasonably angry. Don't they get it?! Can't they see it?! He's not supposed to be here! They don't deserve to have someone like him carrying their name. Why can't they understand that?!

The leather gloves felt thin beneath his nails.

“It'll be harder to get rid of me. If— If you regret it, you can't just throw me out,” Kaeya blurted out, his eye losing more visibility by the second.  “I— I mean you can, but you could get in real trouble. You can't take this back,” he finished desperately. They have to understand.

If— when. When? If? What is he talking about— When he turns his back on them, they'll realize what a mistake this was. They'll regret ever even offering, he just knows it. So he has to make them understand right now. If they don't… If they're offering,

Kaeya can't refuse. He knows he should, a good person would. A good person would deny it because they know the burden that comes with harbouring something like him.

But Kaeya isn't a good person. He's cruel, he's cold, he's selfish. He can't refuse.

Because he wants to be Crepus's youngest son, he wants to be Diluc's baby brother, he wants to be able to enroll into the knights with Jean, he wants to stay in the manor during winter, spring and summer, he wants to stay in the winery during autumn; harvesting grapes with Crepus, sneaking a few of them as snacks with Diluc.

Kaeya can't refuse.

He wanted to blurt it all out; his purpose, his lies and secrets. But Kaeya, above all else, is a coward.

Which is why he kept silent when he felt two pairs of arms engulf him. 

“There are a lot of things I have done wrong in my lifetime, Kaeya. I can assure you that this will never be one of them,” Crepus whispered in his hair.

“Y– You,” Kaeya took in a gasp, voice breaking in a way he never knew it could. “You can't promise that,”

“I can. I am. Nothing could ever make me regret this,” He held Kaeya tighter. Kaeya felt Diluc's arm around him tighten too. “...That is… if you're willing,”

“We can join those sibling races without having to fight the stall owner anymore! Come on, Kae!” 

This is betrayal to his birth family. He's turning his back on them. If he accepts this, what kind of son would that make him? To abandon his old family, and to know he'll eventually betray his new one. One cannot coexist with the other, it just simply isn't possible. Yet somehow, Kaeya feels like he's choosing neither.

But through all of the gnawing guilt,

Kaeya nodded frantically, letting out a choked sob he could no longer suppress. “I do. I want to. I want to be—”

“Then you will,” Crepus whispered. Kaeya could feel the growing smile on Crepus's face, just like he could feel Diluc practically vibrate with excitement. 

“Welcome to the family, Kaeya. Officially,”

Knight 1: "Something teleported! I think it's an Abyss Mage!"

Knight 2: "No, it's just our Cavalry Captain.."

Knight 1: "... OUR CAVALRY CAPTAIN?"

He has this odd perfectly rehearsed backstory about what happened to his father and refuses to ever elaborate on it? He’s just sensitive about that man leave him alone.

Kaeya speaks hilichurl and once said that he would “conquer over you” in that language? Whelp he’s just like that

Refuses to talk about what happened to his eye and tries to gaslight you that it’s perfectly normal that he’s wearing an eyepatch? He must currently be going through a phase right now

Is decorated head to toe with the classic symbols of that one lost nation? Well, maybe he just really likes history and astrology.

Implies he often forges the grand masters handwriting and also offers forged handwriting for other people? He’s just trying to help lessen the workload don’t think about it too hard.

His vision casing is unlike any other in monetary facing only two pairs of wings instead of three? Maybe He just likes customizing, leave the boy alone he’s just been crafty.

Make a joke about his eyepatch hinting that he is a descendent of former royal lineage and then just never brings it up again? Oh he’s just being silly don’t take him seriously.

One of his skills is called “heart of the abyss”? That could mean anything.

Traveler: it could’ve been worse, atleast he didn’t go insane trying to fix everything with the abyss and kill himself

Diluc;

"You are my soulmate. We are forged together by battle and tears and love. Also my brother's coming along."

"Isn't it weird that your brother in law is always hanging around?"

Knight 1: "Something teleported! I think it's an Abyss Mage!"

Knight 2: "No, it's just our Cavalry Captain.."

Knight 1: "... OUR CAVALRY CAPTAIN?"

However over 500 years there must have been changes to the language so the khaenriah kaeya is used to is going to be different form what was spoken in king irmin times

So when he finally does meet another kheanrihan someone who speaks his homes language, Kaeya is most likely going to be kinda rusty to speaking and understanding it (yes this is massive angst potential but I want to think about the potentially funny situations this could bring)

Kaeya is going to STRUGGLE to understand Dainslief because This is the difference of modern English to Shakespearean English

Dainslief is saying “where arth though horses. If thou is this caverlay caption you speak of where is your stead?”

And kaeyas like “what.. what the fuck are you even saying”

Dainslief been only focused on revenge for years do you think this man would sit down to learn mondstadtian or even keep up with modern common? NO.

Kaeya most likely speaks like his grandfather invented chairs. Aka RICH person speak because that was what his father spoke like. So they can’t probabaly understand him either.

Don’t think albedo can help because it’s been years since he’s hear from Rhiendottir so he most likely too is not going to be used to speaking this. Not to mention he’s porbabaly used to only using super scientific terms, he probably speaks like hes in a science paper

So he’s going to be saying some “Kaeya would you like some hydrogen dioxide”

So Kaeya is completely out of depth here trying to talk to this medieval knight and this walking thesaurus

And diluc and jean just wondering what in the world are these people saying to make kaeya so upset and whether they should step in.

Seeing that Jean seems to know about khaenriahs existence based on that one voice line and diluc being straight up told about it they know that these people are most likely speaking that language. However they aren’t native speakers and anyone who could have easily taught them is dead

Is that somehow pierro and capitano find out that Kaeya is khaenriahian so when they try to speak to get him to join their side they realize this kid doesn’t know shit

So now they got a kid to tutor because who else but them and besides are they really going to let rerir teach him about his culture. They think not.

However Kaeya has kinda been detached from this bullshit for a while so he’s just thinking durning the history classes “why the fuck didn’t they just kill the king sooner?”

Diluc thinks that these fatui have kidnapped his baby brother so he’s got to go get him back. So diluc is on his revenge question pt 2 while kaeya tries to not fall alseep in “khaenriah science is the best science but don’t forget that Rhiendottir sucks” class