A Turbo-Nerd

I felt like painting fabric and textures

"I feel like my penis/my Manhood as a symbol is smaller than Black man's" becomes "Black men have oversized penises and are sexually insatiable beasts."

"I am sexually attracted to, fetishizing, and feel entitled to Black women's bodies" becomes "well she's asking for it, look at how she looks, Black women are always more openly sexual."

"I am afraid of approaching Black men" becomes "Black men are a threat."

"I am afraid of approaching Black women" becomes "Black women are always angry."

"I am not smart enough/not qualifed enough/can't beat my white counterparts professionally" becomes "DEI and affirmative action are letting those Blacks steal my position in school/jobs!"

I shared the other version already, but it was kinda busy with lots of extra text, and I think it's pretty funny and simple like this; a scenario in which Jon got sent back in time to when he originally started working at the Magnus Institute, but he has all his memories (and some left-over Eye powers). He's very resolved to stop some specific things from happening, but is also aware of how changing too much might backfire, so he wants to think this through carefully...

Lavernius Tucker...

I've mentioned before that I have Tex and Church return in synthetic human bodies (based on DNA samples from the Director and Allison, but they aren't identical clones). They can still do AI things, plus the other Fragments are back thanks to data from the deconstructed Epsilon returning to the AI units, reviving them (they can visit with everybody else, but mostly live in Church's head). Some dramatic stuff happens, also lots funny stuff, the whole gang is back together, and they get to catch their breath on Earth for bit... but some bonkers stuff ALWAYS has to be a problem, so back into their armor and into space they go!

One of the things they go back to deal with is on Chorus; President Kimball has been doing a good job fixing the rift between all the people who used to be divided as Feds/News, and she has also offered a chance for the former "space pirates"; instead of just going back to the rather unfair treatment of the UNSC, if they stay on Chorus and do some community service, she can get their sentences reduced (and some even forgiven. half of these guys were only criminals because they followed illegal orders and then got thrown under the bus, but ALL of them only did the space pirate bit because it was do THAT or die. all of Chorus got tricked into killing each other, and it makes them all guilty, but if Kimball is giving a new chance to everybody, Locus, and herself, she's also giving this chance to the space pirates too). Some of them take the offer,some of them try their luck escaping altogether to avoid any punishment (but if they apprehended outside of Chorus, the punishment will be harsher). Oh, and Kimball has reached out to the original inhabitants of the planet, or at least their descendants, to reunite them with their home and the technology.

Some people don't like this situation. Unfortunately, several jerks start causing trouble again over petty disagreements, but that's not the worst part... the worst part is, Hargrove still wants the power held in these temples, and it is harder than ever to "quietly exterminate" any witnesses. May as well go big! He had a back-up of the Meta Suit made, this one intended to hold copies of the Epsilon AI/any of AI memories, which would have been scanned after the final fight on the Staff of Charon. The problem is, the AI memory unit of the suit is already full. Well, Hargrove didn't plan for this, but... he can make it work.

Somebody liked the idea of making a "back-up copy" of his brain, so he could have an "extra life" if he ever died. He didn't really understand what Price was trying to tell him about the Meta and the AI, or how a back-up worked. The last moment sent from his suit before he died became the core of his back-up; when the new Meta suit is activated, the AI running it is a copy of Felix. He kinda filled with a lot of rage and betrayal over how his life ended (al LOT of this aimed at Tucker and Locus, obviously), and obsessed with destroying everything he hates. Hargrove has the suit rigged to switch off if Felix leaves the planet without getting control of the temples, so he's got work to do in addition to the personal revenge.

There are several situations in which an AI copy of Felix hops into a regular robot body, and the others kill it (everybody gets to take a swing at him. this may not be the best way to work through complex emotions, but it sure is cathartic in the moment). Felix is frustrated, and he starts making more than one copy of himself at a time (this is ALMOST similar to Alpha creating Fragments... but they aren't very "stable"). Felix also wants his sword back, but it still identifies him as "dead". He finds a temple that is meant to "give life to echoes of those who have died", and thinks maybe it will revive him somehow. On the one hand, the sword DOES work for him! On the other, he now hears the voice of Dyle telling him "It was mine before it was yours". Felixe now has to deal with Doyle, and a couple other previous wielders, heckling him.

After several more failures, Felix is going scorched-earth; he's going to activate a secret temple that will allow him to control all of them at once, include the turbo-death temple. That is not good! Even though everybody wants to try and stop him, they get swamped with hundreds of robots running on partial-AI clones (they don't have any "complex" thoughts, they just know murder-death-kill). Tucker manages to break through, so it is a show-down between him, the full Meta suit Felix, and their swords. Felix has his own AI copies running all the equipment of his suit. Tucker has Church, Tex, and all the Fragments. Tucker has also some experience with this... after all, he did something similar before, with Epsilon. This time, it is so much MORE. He's got more experience, he's got an extra power-house with him, and this time they're all going to survive TOGETHER.

So, they have a lightsaber battle, yee-haw. Obviously, Tucker wins, but he doesn't bother killing the final AI of Felix. He doesn't need to; in a fit of rage, Felix tries to keep multiplying himself, copying his data again and again, but that CORE of his memory is resurfacing, the memory of being defeated, abandoned, and dying... in this desperate state, all his copies are experiencing that moment over and over. This is worse than Tex and the "failures". This is like turning into an ouroboros made of hate and death. Felix finally destroys himself, and Tucker picks up the sword (he gets a little glimpse of Doyle before the echoes fade away). Because Tucker already has his own sword, it doesn't link to him, and he's able to give it back to locus.

The other Felix robots finally shut down, and Chorus gets a chance to CHILL again. With the arrival of some Sangheili visitors, Tucker is greeted with a surprise; JUNIOR IS HERE! Other problems will pop up eventually, they always do, but for now, they get a happy reunion~

The African American Smithsonian.

Constellations. Compton's Pictured Encyclopedia. v.2. 1924.

I was realizing the scope of the damage, that his theory/history providing really showed. Of how America learned to- and then happily jumped upon- the ability to call Black people, Black men in particular- "crazy". To invalidate our emotions and our responses to the world around us by calling us "schizophrenic".

Because when I think about it. Everything I've posted that wasn't a happy smiley comment would have fallen under the category of "schizophrenic" for these doctors. But not because I actually display the symptoms! Think about it. If you were taught, in the 1960s, that the symptoms of schizophrenia were "aggression, delusions of persecution, paranoia, rejecting polite society for an African or Arab name"...

And then you saw a Black person who was (rightfully!) angry, claiming that White Society is purposefully ruining their life in endless systemic ways that you personally have not experienced and therefore do not think are real, because White is Right... On top of already being socialized to believe that Black people were liars and felt less pain...

Then yeah, you probably WOULD think I had a disorder! Even now, people will see Black people discuss their issues and act as if it's not necessary, as if it's a disturbance or that it's not real. It really shows what Metzl was discussing, how even this has become normalized to do outside of a clinical space.

It's like, you wrote the definition to include what you thought was wrong with me, so that you could label me with this when just maybe, there's something else wrong. And it's not like Black people with schizophrenia aren't real or don't suffer real symptoms. It's just that... Like with ODD. Do I actually have a disorder that needs treatment, or is this just a response to how you think I'm deviating from YOUR norm?

And it's also interesting because to be honest, running this page and dealing with the occasional racist dork has taken a mental toll on me. I recently started wondering if I had issues with reality, like maybe things weren't as bad as I thought they were, because surely this cannot be this hard to understand. Surely sensible people would understand, so maybe I'm losing my grip? Maybe I have emotional disregulation, that these things upset me in a way they don't seem to upset others?

But... we've been getting accused of essentially "being overdramatic" since the 1600s, and well- there was ALWAYS something wrong! It's validating to know that there have always been Black people, Black activists even, who have suggested that living under this WILL drive you crazy 😭 that there IS a strain that comes with this racist society that pulls down on our mental health, and is it NOT just in our heads.