forgot to mention that i participated - in the most awkward fashion - in a father-child game of catch today (i was neither the father nor the child). as i was walking down the sidewalk a man threw a nerf baseball at his small child who successfully hit it out of the park (their yard) (into the street). by then i was about to cross the street so i went slightly out of my way to retrieve this ball so neither father nor small child would have to leave the yard. but then i was standing there in the street holding this ball. and because i've been watching baseball anime and thinking regularly about how fucking nuts it is that some people can throw balls to specific locations and not just the general vicinity of "over there" i suddenly got very self-conscious about returning it given i do not have that skillset. so the dad was standing there waiting for me to throw it back but i didn't even try to get it to him specifically because i was suddenly sure that wasn't physically possible for me to do and my best bet was to aim to get it on the right side of the fence. but of course then he would have to chase down the ball from wherever i actually threw it (not directly to him even though i was standing right there looking at him) so as i was throwing it i was like "uh - i'm just gonna - toss...it...[apologetic incoherent mumbling]." he was busy watching this happen with no small measure of confusion and i immediately started getting out of there so by the time he said thank you i had already turned my back pursuant to putting this embarrassing encounter behind me for all time. at which point i could not have been induced to make eye contact again for love nor money so instead of any kind of normal response to his thanks i just waved my hand in the air as i walked away. which felt like. sooo laidback and cazh like i just rolled into town and defeated the local villain and bounced without even letting anyone give me the key to the city like i do this every day but also. extremely awkward and a tad bit rude?
and then as i walked away trying not to feel like the world's worst helpful stranger i started fantasizing about what if when i got to the park i was walking to, some people were playing baseball and oh no!!! they accidentally fouled off a ball and it's coming right toward me! but never fear, i whip off my baseball cap (i do wear one of these despite not playing baseball) and catch it right before it hits me in the face! and everyone is stunned because it appeared so nonchalant even though it wasn't actually. but at this point in the fantasy i ran into the problem of returning the ball to them. and realized i was going to have to walk over to them and hand it back instead of attempting to throw it. which was going to take forever and they would be watching me in confusion the whole time (because clearly someone cool enough to catch stray balls in their hat knows how to do the secret skill of throwing a baseball where they want it to go). and thus ended my fantasy, with the thought: oh my god i hope no one hits a baseball at my face in the park today.
