Allotriomorph

This dog is so inbred holy cow

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

when you see a Good post, you can say "HEEHO" when the post is Bad, the post is "wawoo"

Wawoo

shut the fuck up 

Hookup culture is so convoluted these days and I don't meant that in a way that is dismissive of the act in of itself but rather that you used to be able to just have a few drinks with a girl and then she'd put her eggs in you or vice versa nd then maybe you'd stack colored pebbles together for a few hours but nowadays she always has to try and poison your wine which I suppose I can't really complain about because I also try to poison hers while slipping antidote into mine but she does the same so we get mad at each other and grapple for a while and then she stings me with her stinger or injects venom into me with her fangs or what have you and THEN finally gets to the oviposition. It all just feels a bit overcomplicated to me and you can't even stack colored pebbles afterwards because you're still paralyzed from the venom

meow meow meow meow meow. did u ever think of that

My old person take today is that I feel like people have normalized being on your phone every single moment including when you're spending "quality" time with others so much that they're defensive if someone isn't ok with it. Yes, you have a problematic relationship with your phone and social media if you physically cannot put it down for a couple of hours to like, have dinner with your friends. It's a show of respect for other people's time and energy as well as important to be present and connect with people around you. Your parents who told you no phone at the table were right for that one.

The ancient texts were true… They DO have a reaction image for everything…

you're mommy's good little printer aren't you? you'll print whatever mommy tells you to because otherwise mommy gets sad and leaves you for one of those free use library printer sluts

mommy needs you to print this document now and if you don't mommy is going to turn you off at the wall

listen to mommy okay? if you don't be a good little printer and fucking print my document and i know you want to okay mommy can see it in your print queue if you don't. print. my fucking document. mommy's going to get the hammer

you get a comment on tumblr. it's a bot trying to scam you. you get a DM. it's a bot trying to scam you. you get a message on instagram. its a bot trying to scam you. you're an author and you get an email telling you how much they loved your book and want to showcase it at their bookclub. it's a bot trying to scam you (and it uses bad AI to pretend it knows your story). you get a comment on ao3 saying how much they love your fic - and they made you fanart!! it's a bot trying to scam you. you get a hate comment on ao3 which insults your writing or calls you a monster for writing something "problematic". it's a bot. but at least that one isn't trying to scam you.