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if you’re a transphobe I’ll remove all your bones free of charge ♡

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Ink Artwork by Endre Penovác
um. i think that will make an even awkwarder silence
today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet.
he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years.
Icon.
don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him
Hey quick question what the fuck
the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is
victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years
RATING: 🟨 MOSTLY RELIABLE 🟨
Many articles make similar claims to those above. However, much of this information circulates without a clear source, and I have struggled to find reputable/high level sources for some of this information. Therefore, keep in mind that some of this may be exaggerated or potentially unreliable.
Obviously, I cannot account for the sexual of history of every human who has ever lived, but evidence does suggest that Victor Hugo had a… lively sex life.
From Medium: ‘Sex was so involved in Hugo’s daily life that one biographer wrote the following while describing a typical day in Hugo’s life:
“It was not unusual for him to make love to a young prostitute in the morning, an actress before lunch, a courtesan as an aperitif, and then join the also indefatigable Juliette for a night of sex.”
[…] Hugo claimed that on the wedding night, he and his wife had sex nine times.’
His encoded sex diary is referenced on Wikipedia, but when I found an English translation of the source, I couldn’t find where in it they were sourcing.
From Wikipedia: ‘He systematically reported his casual affairs using his own code, as Samuel Pepys did, to make sure they would remain secret.’
The source is listed as: ‘Hugo, Victor, Choses vues 1870–1885, p. 529, ISBN 2070361411, pp. 371, 521 (n. 1).’
I’ve found Choses Vues here in the original French and here translated into English. If anyone can find anything in here about the encoded sex diary, please let me know!
His ‘official mistress’ is likely in reference to Juliette Drouet.
From EBSCO: 'Since 1833, Hugo had maintained a liaison with a beautiful female actor, Juliette Drouet, who for twelve years followed a cloistered existence relieved only by six-week summer holidays with her lover.’
His 'unofficial mistress’ is likely in reference to Léonie d’Aunet Biard.
From The Common Reader: 'Overlapping was a seven-year affair with travel writer and Arctic explorer Léonie d’Aunet Biard, whose husband finally brought a police officer to the Paris hotel and caught them in flagrante.’
I have found articles that circulate the '200’ claim, but none that give a source for the information.
From Medium: 'Not only that but he bedded 200 women in this hotel in just two years.’
The claim that brothels were closed on the day of his funeral is again circulated frequently without claim. The only sourced part of the claim I can find is a second hand report that sex workers had 'draped their gentials in black crepe’.
From The Guardian: ’[…] when Hugo died the brothels of Paris closed down for a day of mourning, allowing all the city’s sex workers to pay their last respects to a loyal client. Literary critic Edmond de Goncourt claimed a police officer told him that sex workers even draped their genitals in black crepe as a mark of respect.’
And an estimated 2 million people attended his funeral procession.
From Funeral Conflicts in Nineteenth-Century France: 'Two million people came to see Hugo’s body lying in state at the Arc de Triomphe’
He’s now been dead for 141 years, although 133 was correct at the time of posting. How slutty those years are… I couldn’t say.
UPDATE
Thanks to @dodger-chan for adding some new information on the source for the encoded sex diary! Apparently the versions I found were earlier editions, and it is the more complete 1972 edition that is the source.
If any French speakers are able to find the 1972 edition and check whether his Wikipedia page is correct about his diary, please get in contact.
UPDATE 2
Thank you to everyone got into contact to offer help! I can now confirm that the book in question does include reference to the code Viktor Hugo used to write about his sexual activities.
Here are the pages in question, thanks to @youredeadletsdisco
And a quote, translated into English thanks to @sakohakura:
“We are accustomed, here in 'Choses vues’, to the secret vocabulary and writing of Victor Hugo. Certain phrases are still enigmatic, other have “keys”, often simple. Thus, when Victor Hugo, talking about a conquest, writes “Switzerland”, which is the country of milk, he means breasts. Sometimes he wrote, to describe the same thing, the saints or the torso.“

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Angus McBride's 1966 "Legendary Beasts" series ran in the backs of the weekly magazine Finding Out. Daisy at Beautiful Books has collected all 36 of them over here - this is just half of them!
I think part of getting better is complete ego death. Like you’re not above setting a timer for 5 minutes and focusing on a task. You’re not above doing a very simple 3 minute workout to start. You’re not above reading for 10 minutes a day when you first get out of your reading slump, even if you used to read for hours. You’re not above starting slow and then building up to where you want to be/where you once were. What you are above is total inertia. Doing something really is better than doing nothing. Radically accept where you are, radically accept your limits, and go from there. Don’t let your ego get in the way.
I cannot believe it worked
Beautiful stop motion animation by CliffCreativity
some kind of yucky mold
ewwwww
oh my god?

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Took Ollie to the vet today. And I'm not gonna say who. But ONE of us had a panic attack immediately after the checkup and wouldn't get out of the sink
it was a difficult morning for everybody
i really hope that nintendo doesnt listen to the people who think navi from ocarina of time is annoying. if that little orb doesnt say hey listen in the remake im not buying it
My white whale is preserving the default selection being "yes" when the owl Kaepora Gaebora asks you if he should repeat everything useless he just said, so as you mash through the text you just always accidentally loop it. Core gameplay experience and character trait for that owl, wouldn't be the same game without it.
This scene slays me
(From Phineas and Ferb - Candace’s Big Day)
Love how Perry’s also a good sport and waits for Doof to get back before willingly tying himself up in his trap
phineas and ferb heritage post
At 1 PM on a Friday I get an email from my boss. I'm busy as hell so I don't check it immediately. Then I get a phone call from my boss, which has almost never happened before. I'm a white collar worker, a historian. There's never a 'historical emergency' requiring a phone call to kick me in the ass and get to work.
The request is so urgent my boss needs it by the end of the work week. Which, y'know, is 5 PM on a Friday. So I have four hours to do it.
It's a forwarded request. Somebody contacted a member of the donation team asking for help, "I need a map from the Vietnam War to use for a presentation." It's somebody she's trying to coax into giving a five figure donation to the museum.
The request was asked to the donation team member, who then emailed my boss, who then emailed and called me urgently.
This map required:
North and South Vietnam in it
All four areas that South Vietnam was divided into for military purposes ('Corps') clearly delineated
Four cities, all of them horrifically misspelled, and only identifiable because I know what battle the requester is asking about (it’s in III Corps on the border with Cambodia) (the requester danced around the battle but I’m knowledgeable enough to identify it)
Has Laos and Cambodia in it
Has the Ho Chi Minh Trail in it
So. I was mad about the 'you have literally four hours to find a map with a lot of requirements.'
I was then mad at myself about finding a copyright free map from Texas Tech University within half an hour, proving her right for asking me to do it.
Then, after I found a map that perfectly met the requirements, I was equally amazed, baffled, and horrified when I read further into the forwarded email chain.
The donation team team member they were speaking to used AI to generate a map.
The above put half of North Vietnam in South Vietnam, made the Ho Chi Minh Trail a country, made 60% of Cambodia part of South Vietnam, put the DMZ extremely high up in North Vietnam, completely disconnected the southern tip of Vietnam, misplaced all of the Corps zones, etc etc
At the very last second the donation team member had a moment of divine clarity, remembering there's three historians on payroll to ask for this kind of thing from. So she contacted my boss while saying, "I had fun with this, but I decided I should check for accuracy before I send it to the donor! I need a fact check by the end of the day, then I send it"
My boss, while not the most knowledgeable on the Vietnam War, does know her geography. She took one look, and knew it was so off she called me to tell me how urgent it is that I look at the email and respond
good fucking god, jesus tap dancing goddamn christ, I'm glad I was asked to look at it and then find a real map

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I walk by you and am holding a big earwig the size of a dog that I am cuddling and petting as it wiggles its big ol head and big eyes and clicks its lil pincers happily. I am smiling in comfort. Then I get on a train and you never see me or anything like that again.