Fanfiction Is My Life

Demigod dreams, yes - but different. Demigod dreams were bizarre, usually threatening or dangerous, but these.. Usually weren't. They were like half forgotten memories, details blurring every time she woke.

Ancient cities bustling with life- Agoras full of people, temples with priests performing rituals in honor of the gods, people working in olive groves mid harvest.

As she had gotten older they became more specific; And much more confusing, frankly.

Shadows of people; People she loved but could not remember. In the best of them, she saw them happy. She saw them weaving and dancing and living - Saw them feast and drink and play music. It only made the other dreams all the more bitter.

They weeped, holding infants in their arms, stiff and cold. Kneeled over in agony, weak.

This time she held an infant in her own arms. A tiny boy.

He was perfect, from the wisps of barely-there blonde hair to the scales covering his cheeks. She held him close to her chest as she began to weep - For him, for his father, for all of her families pain caused by that damned curse -

But someone else's cries joined hers. She looked down in disbelief as the child, the boy she knew was dead, wailed.

He was alive?

Apollo who just had to listen to the most insane, co dependent thing about his aunts, uncles and father being soulmates in the most confusing of ways: NO???

Zeus: Huh. Really?

Apollo: I DONT WANT TO BE ONE WITH MY SISTER AND I THINK I AM MY OWN PERSON WITHOUT HER AND I DEFINETELY DONT WANT HER TO BE THE ONE TO MURDER ME.

GET UNHEALTHIER NOW!

Also my og tags:

and in Gotham they would make more mess than help, so to keep them away from his rogues, that he's sure they would traumatize and use the JL for their own evil plans, so Batman ended up getting the bad reputation of hating metas.

after a while the older members of the JL understood what the rule actually meant, but the younger ones (with the exception of his kids close friends who went to the manor and mt him directly) still thinks this is the case

this ensure some akwards moments between the younger meta heroes when they want or need to talk to Batman out of combact

---------------------------------------------------

considering the fact that Jason could be the only person 'in the family' with adverse and lingering affects from being in the Lazarus Pit, and Jason is an incredibly good asset for the League of Assassins to have on-side with his All-Blades and bat-training and new Lazarus strength/size, i think it's fair to say that regardless of how annoying and bitchy Jason is as a person, Ra's could still be smart enough to want Jason to stick around.

I really like the concept of Jason being a singularity within the league. the rest of Ra's family respects him as their leader and treats him professionally, because although he is their father/grandfather, he is still, to them, the Demon's Head. same with everybody else at the league—he's feared and worshipped, or he’s abhorred and viewed as an enemy. there’s no in-between.

apart from Jason.

Jason is a special case. i think it's important to keep in mind that the only other person that Ra's has ever really respected as an equal of some kind is literally Bruce Wayne. the Batman. as his father's son, there's no way Jason didn't pick up on that Wayne stubbornness, and there’s no way he didn’t give Ra’s a run for his money when he showed up at the league. Ra’s sees that genius and sense of strategy in Jason; the only difference is that Jason actually embraces and accepts the concept of being an Al Ghul, doesn’t give a fuck about murder, and manages to expertly carry out all his work/missions while being a complete and utter little shit. with all of that, and the prospect of them bonding over the mental effects of being pit-dipped, i think it’s very easy to imagine the two of them having a weirdly decent grandfather-adopted grandson relationship.

i want them to argue constantly, but also Jason is the only person who Ra’s wouldn’t actually stab for climbing on his throne. or for mocking the fact that he even has a throne. Talia is endlessly frustrated and baffled as to why the fuck those two actually seem to get along sometimes—Jason’s allowed to burst into any confidential meeting he wants, ranting about whatever’s pissed him off lately, and Ra’s will just sneer and tell him to fuck off. anybody else would be shot on sight.

Damian’s torn between relieved and pissed off, because on the one hand Jason constantly fucking with Ra’s and actually getting away with it at least takes the heat off Damian; but on the other hand what the fuck did Jason do to deserve this favouritism? how comes Ra’s lets Jason braid his hair when he can’t sit still during a meeting? how come when Jason breaks into Ra’s bed chambers to demand a larger expense account so he can take the outlaws to vegas for his 18th birthday Ra’s doesn’t toss him in the cells for a weekend—just throws a cushion and lets him take whatever money he wants? it’s clear favouritism, and it’s bullshit.

i don’t just want it to be Ra’s letting Jason get away with stuff though. i think it would be interesting to see the more equal parts of their relationship. I would like to see a Ra’s Al Ghul who actually accepts Jason as one of his heirs, and as somebody who recognises the negative effects of the pit will give half-decent advice on how Jason can deal with it. i want them sharing ways to deal with pit-influenced episodes and hanging out on their off days. Ra’s teaching Jason how to play chess and Jason forcing Ra’s to read with him. Talia walks in on them together in the league library, Ra’s with slices of cucumber over his eyes, head laid back, and Jason with his legs thrown into Ra’s lap while he reads out loud, and she has to just. stop. take a deep breath, and slowly walk out while counting to ten.

there’s something just so endlessly fascinating about the concept of weird morally-grey murder-grandpa Ra’s and his odd, feral, lazarus-dipped grandson Jason.

-------------------------------------

Kaeya stared at the paper in front of him in horror.

Adoption. No, no, hold on. It wasn't supposed to go this far. He wasn't— He can't—

He can't be family. Not like this. Referring to Diluc as his brother, calling Master Crepus his father— That's different. It's different because it wasn't real. It was just verbal. 

But now it could be. 

He raised his head to see expectant pairs of eyes staring back at him. Warm and hopeful eyes.

Kaeya can't do it. He can't do it he can't he can't—

How was he supposed to turn on them? On people who had done nothing but love him since the second he fell into their arms? Held on so tightly that Kaeya forgot what it felt like to be alone?

“You can't take this back,” Kaeya whispered. He couldn’t cry, he shouldn't. But there's no denying the ache he feels and his steadily blurring vision. 

He could see both their smiles slowly dim.

“What do you mean?” Crepus asked, voice no louder than his own.

Kaeya could feel his hands shaking when he took an unsteady inhale. “You— It’ll make it difficult,”

Crepus never stopped staring at him with those gentle and loving and so unfairly patient eyes.

“I'm… afraid I'm not following, bug. What do you mean?”

Kaeya felt himself grow unreasonably angry. Don't they get it?! Can't they see it?! He's not supposed to be here! They don't deserve to have someone like him carrying their name. Why can't they understand that?!

The leather gloves felt thin beneath his nails.

“It'll be harder to get rid of me. If— If you regret it, you can't just throw me out,” Kaeya blurted out, his eye losing more visibility by the second.  “I— I mean you can, but you could get in real trouble. You can't take this back,” he finished desperately. They have to understand.

If— when. When? If? What is he talking about— When he turns his back on them, they'll realize what a mistake this was. They'll regret ever even offering, he just knows it. So he has to make them understand right now. If they don't… If they're offering,

Kaeya can't refuse. He knows he should, a good person would. A good person would deny it because they know the burden that comes with harbouring something like him.

But Kaeya isn't a good person. He's cruel, he's cold, he's selfish. He can't refuse.

Because he wants to be Crepus's youngest son, he wants to be Diluc's baby brother, he wants to be able to enroll into the knights with Jean, he wants to stay in the manor during winter, spring and summer, he wants to stay in the winery during autumn; harvesting grapes with Crepus, sneaking a few of them as snacks with Diluc.

Kaeya can't refuse.

He wanted to blurt it all out; his purpose, his lies and secrets. But Kaeya, above all else, is a coward.

Which is why he kept silent when he felt two pairs of arms engulf him. 

“There are a lot of things I have done wrong in my lifetime, Kaeya. I can assure you that this will never be one of them,” Crepus whispered in his hair.

“Y– You,” Kaeya took in a gasp, voice breaking in a way he never knew it could. “You can't promise that,”

“I can. I am. Nothing could ever make me regret this,” He held Kaeya tighter. Kaeya felt Diluc's arm around him tighten too. “...That is… if you're willing,”

“We can join those sibling races without having to fight the stall owner anymore! Come on, Kae!” 

This is betrayal to his birth family. He's turning his back on them. If he accepts this, what kind of son would that make him? To abandon his old family, and to know he'll eventually betray his new one. One cannot coexist with the other, it just simply isn't possible. Yet somehow, Kaeya feels like he's choosing neither.

But through all of the gnawing guilt,

Kaeya nodded frantically, letting out a choked sob he could no longer suppress. “I do. I want to. I want to be—”

“Then you will,” Crepus whispered. Kaeya could feel the growing smile on Crepus's face, just like he could feel Diluc practically vibrate with excitement. 

“Welcome to the family, Kaeya. Officially,”

This tumblr sexyman is your son!

they're both high (but equally!) ranking knights with quite a bit of sway in the local community. kaeya might be known for his smooth talking but albedo has his own charms and tbh not having a reputation for dishonesty probably does him a lot of favours there; he has a very earnest way about him. albedo might be a scholar but kaeya's clever in his own right (and i'll never buy that kaeya isn't also book smart, crepus absolutely had a private tutor for his kids c'mon). and i've always liked the idea that even if kaeya is physically stronger and more experienced in combat than albedo, albedo's prowess in alchemy makes him more powerful overall,,, but that's a bit of a personal indulgence. anyway

Like, why is it that Diluc always gets such a downpour of sympathy, support, second chances, and tolerance of his sometimes downright rude/hurtful words/behavior towards those he deems as "incompetent", "lazy", “slacker”? (Unsurprisingly, words Kaeya is always accused of being unprompted by traveller, Paimon, and Mondstaters, words that reinforce Mondstat's toxic overwork culture). 

For example, Lohen—even goes as far as empathising with Diluc, claiming they were both victims of the same person. Even showing regret or dismay that he is not coming back to becoming a knight. Also, shows Diluc senior-appropriate respect unprompted even when he is an enemy/thorn in his plan. 

When it comes to Crepus’s death, Diluc is always treated as the only one grieving and person deserving of amends, apologies, accommodation, and that he is always welcome to join the knights of Favonius, and change. 

With Kaeya always excluded (when he deserves them just as much, if not more for the bullshit Mondstat always puts him through—passive aggressive exclusion/mockery/suspicion and always only acknowledged for what he can or should do for others …like, what the hell?) It's like Diluc is seen as Crepus's only child, that his death affected him the most. 

Kaeya's grief is always completely ignored. Even when he too was a victim of it in many ways. Also a bigger victim of the fallout of that fight, though often not acknowledged. On top of losing his second family, gaining an unstable reputation, and having to rebuild his life—nobody was/is there for him, like ever. 

Paimon (especially her) and Traveler too, just really always add salt to injury. Never misses a beat to tell the audience how anybody who has Diluc's respect is automatically good and how those who do not are bad, lazy, or suspicious—and Crepus's other morally warped actions are still left unaddressed, ignored (so much Diluc and Crepus glazing/glorification in this quest). 

And it's just, I was so excited when I first saw him appearing in the quest, thinking he was going to play bigger roles but in the end, he just ended up sidelined. 

Yep. There’s a reason I have extremely limited tolerance for excuses or justifications for any of Mondstadt’s, the Traveler + Paimon or the narrative’s treatment of Kaeya. And why I tend to focus on humanizing aspects of Kaeya from within the game rather than how much Khaenri’ah lore he can carry or how much more miserable he could be made for angst potential (TM). In the past five years I’ve noticed a pattern in how Kaeya’s treated compared to others, both by the fanbase and the game, and though I’ve called it out several times before I don’t think I went that deep into why Kaeya’s treatment in most fan content bothers me. Especially because there’s an assumption going around that there’s a new writing team trying to appeal to the most vocal part of the fanbase…and I’ll be blunt, if I was on that team and saw what fans were saying and portraying in regards to Kaeya, I’d also assume that they weren’t interested in empathizing with or humanizing him.

and before people try to twist my words: you can absolutely enjoy whatever you want in fiction for whatever reason. no matter how taboo or messed up or disgusting it is. it’s all play pretend and fantasies (and if some people cannot separate fiction from reality then chances are that—with or without the fictional things they consume—they’re already troubled and they need help, but their inability to separate fiction from reality is not your business or concern, you’re not their parent).

Ciar: Daddy issues Daddy issues

Nico & Bianca: Chaos junkie

Thomas: Mommy issues

Hazel: MORE DADDY ISSUES

Marilyn & Thomas: Obnoxious ASSHOLE issues

and Stephanus...

Stephanus is weirdly self actualized actually. He just likes getting high.