The Unbearable Sassiness of Being

You know that thing where a story is written in tight third person limited — we’re meant to be inside someone’s head, seeing the world through their thoughts — and then suddenly the narration says “the blond frowned” or “the shorter woman sighed” about a person the POV character knows really well?

That’s called antonomasia — using a descriptive label instead of a name. And it’s fine when we’re talking about strangers: “the cashier handed her the receipt,” “the tall guy blocked the door.” The POV character doesn’t know their names, and we just need a quick way to tell people apart.

But the moment it’s used for someone the POV character already knows, it breaks immersion. Because that’s not how our minds work. We don’t think “the older man smiled at me.” We think “Mark smiled.” Or maybe “my boss” if that relationship matters in the moment.

Third person limited means the narration sits inside someone’s perception. Their inner monologue is the story’s voice. So when you switch from “Mark smiled” to “the blond smiled,” you’ve pulled the camera away from their mind and turned it into an outside shot.

If you want to create distance or irritation, you can do it on purpose —

“The idiot from accounting emailed again.”

That’s character voice. That’s judgment. That works.

But otherwise?

As soon as your POV character knows someone’s name, use it. While we do tend to worry about repetitions, names rarely register as such to the readers.

If you need variety for rhythm, use relational or emotional identifiers that make sense in their head: her friend, his partner, their teacher, the person they loved.

Because inside someone’s thoughts, there are no “blonds” or “brunettes.”

There are two kinds of crustaceans that are called "shrimp" that use concussive force via cavitation bubbles as a weapon.

These are Pistol Shrimp, a group of actual shrimp, and Mantis Shrimp, which are not actually shrimp but they are the ones you probably think of when you hear "murder shrimp" and "shrimp colors" (specifically the Peacock Mantis, bc there's a lot of species for both.)

I'm not annoying enough to grumble about the mantis being called a murder shrimp, because "murder stomatopod" is objectively a less fun combination of words.

HOWEVER!! People keep drawing mantis murder shrimp with pistol shrimp claws. They are not the same claws!! They are not used the same way!!! I will explain!!!!

Pistol shrimp: A number of shrimp species which have one big megachad claw and one dinky normal one.

The dactyl, or movable part of the large claw, is snapped shut with so much force that it shoots a cavitation bubble out with a very loud snap that can stun prey or scare off predators. It's very fucking cool.

As cool as that is, there is a reason that the mantis shrimp is what most people think of when they read "murder shrimp."

This is the Peacock Mantis Shrimp. Which is not a shrimp, but a stomatopod.

(In a lot of pictures it appears like they're staring intently at the camera. They probably are, because they are alarmingly intelligent.)

Note that it doesn't seem to have the big classic claws, and that's becaus it doesnt. Please stop drawing a shrimp claw on them. Their "claw" appendages are kept tucked up, praying mantis style.

These are a raptorial appendage that do have a sharp bit, but that sharp point has adapted to add support to the club end. They use the club to punch the shit out of things. They do punch so hard that they create a cavitation bubble, but the punch is the main deal.

If you look up a mantis shrimp puncher you may find this image, but they rarely if ever fold out fully past the punching part.

The second common mistake on mantis drawings is from mixing up two types of mantis shrimp. There are punchers, which includes the peacock mantis, and stabbers. You can guess what they do.

Fun fact! The peacock mantis is the largest puncher species, maxing out at 6-7 inches. Some of the stabber species, such as a zebra mantis can get 11 inches. This is because the peacock mantis is as big as it can get before it would shatter itself with the force of its punch!

This has been the marine biologist PSA.