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@sashaforthewin

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Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me
They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(
His sugar work is more impressive than his chocolate work at this point
on “the blond,” “the older man,” and other crimes against third-person limited
You know that thing where a story is written in tight third person limited — we’re meant to be inside someone’s head, seeing the world through their thoughts — and then suddenly the narration says “the blond frowned” or “the shorter woman sighed” about a person the POV character knows really well?
That’s called antonomasia — using a descriptive label instead of a name. And it’s fine when we’re talking about strangers: “the cashier handed her the receipt,” “the tall guy blocked the door.” The POV character doesn’t know their names, and we just need a quick way to tell people apart.
But the moment it’s used for someone the POV character already knows, it breaks immersion. Because that’s not how our minds work. We don’t think “the older man smiled at me.” We think “Mark smiled.” Or maybe “my boss” if that relationship matters in the moment.
Third person limited means the narration sits inside someone’s perception. Their inner monologue is the story’s voice. So when you switch from “Mark smiled” to “the blond smiled,” you’ve pulled the camera away from their mind and turned it into an outside shot.
If you want to create distance or irritation, you can do it on purpose —
“The idiot from accounting emailed again.”
That’s character voice. That’s judgment. That works.
But otherwise?
As soon as your POV character knows someone’s name, use it. While we do tend to worry about repetitions, names rarely register as such to the readers.
If you need variety for rhythm, use relational or emotional identifiers that make sense in their head: her friend, his partner, their teacher, the person they loved.
Because inside someone’s thoughts, there are no “blonds” or “brunettes.”
There are only people they know.
fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

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Dustin, who wins the chance to have lunch with his favourite band and watch them practice for the upcoming tour, but he is a minor so it's a big no no for him to go alone. It would be very lame to take his mother with him so he goes with the best option: Steve.
Suddenly the day is less nerding out with his favourite band and more watching Eddie Munson try to get into Steve's pants
Dustin, who wins the chance to have lunch with his favourite band and watch them practice for the upcoming tour, but he is a minor so it's a big no no for him to go alone. It would be very lame to take his mother with him so he goes with the best option: Steve.
Suddenly the day is less nerding out with his favourite band and more watching Eddie Munson try to get into Steve's pants
This is really funny on dark mode
On dark mode this is like a clown trying to hide behind a light pole.
the puirpose of a spider is what it does
it spides
do not. address it

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Steve: I mean, if I saw you out with another guy, I’d be pretty upset
Eddie: Thank you. Not just for being upset, but for believing that could happen
I feel a sudden need to bring some important, clarifying information to people. Mostly artists who love drawing murder shrimp.
There are two kinds of crustaceans that are called "shrimp" that use concussive force via cavitation bubbles as a weapon.
These are Pistol Shrimp, a group of actual shrimp, and Mantis Shrimp, which are not actually shrimp but they are the ones you probably think of when you hear "murder shrimp" and "shrimp colors" (specifically the Peacock Mantis, bc there's a lot of species for both.)
I'm not annoying enough to grumble about the mantis being called a murder shrimp, because "murder stomatopod" is objectively a less fun combination of words.
HOWEVER!! People keep drawing mantis murder shrimp with pistol shrimp claws. They are not the same claws!! They are not used the same way!!! I will explain!!!!
Pistol shrimp: A number of shrimp species which have one big megachad claw and one dinky normal one.
The dactyl, or movable part of the large claw, is snapped shut with so much force that it shoots a cavitation bubble out with a very loud snap that can stun prey or scare off predators. It's very fucking cool.
As cool as that is, there is a reason that the mantis shrimp is what most people think of when they read "murder shrimp."
This is the Peacock Mantis Shrimp. Which is not a shrimp, but a stomatopod.
(In a lot of pictures it appears like they're staring intently at the camera. They probably are, because they are alarmingly intelligent.)
Note that it doesn't seem to have the big classic claws, and that's becaus it doesnt. Please stop drawing a shrimp claw on them. Their "claw" appendages are kept tucked up, praying mantis style.
These are a raptorial appendage that do have a sharp bit, but that sharp point has adapted to add support to the club end. They use the club to punch the shit out of things. They do punch so hard that they create a cavitation bubble, but the punch is the main deal.
If you look up a mantis shrimp puncher you may find this image, but they rarely if ever fold out fully past the punching part.
The second common mistake on mantis drawings is from mixing up two types of mantis shrimp. There are punchers, which includes the peacock mantis, and stabbers. You can guess what they do.
Fun fact! The peacock mantis is the largest puncher species, maxing out at 6-7 inches. Some of the stabber species, such as a zebra mantis can get 11 inches. This is because the peacock mantis is as big as it can get before it would shatter itself with the force of its punch!
This has been the marine biologist PSA.
Please stop putting the wrong claw on a peacock mantis.
L'art de Morris/ Lucky Luke
Vogue (May, 1967)

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