Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
YOU ARE THE REASON
occasionally subtle
sheepfilms
Cosimo Galluzzi

#extradirty

Origami Around
Stranger Things
Today's Document
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
cherry valley forever
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
$LAYYYTER
macklin celebrini has autism
Xuebing Du
Show & Tell
NASA

bliss lane
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@thesebrownshoes

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the best part of experiencing november 5th 2020 was watching tumblr attempt to describe what it was like to experience november 5th 2020
They’re not lying though, it was fucking Insane.
Honestly, if you see an angel that’s all eyes and wings and wheels of fire, you should be worried. Like, not because it’s going to hurt you or anything, but because scripturally, angels invariably appear to ordinary people in human form. In general, they only show their inhuman true forms to prophets – which means if you’re seeing them like that, they come bearing responsibility.
I woke up today with the phrase “spooky scary seraphim” in my head today, looks like we’re on the same wavelength.
i made a new christmas carol
i like to imagine that clark kent’s search history is mostly normal but then there’s stuff like “improved superman costume concept art” because he wanted ideas
#what would you even do as an artist #if one day superman is just wearing a costume that is clearly your design #like superman was clearly looking at your deviantart #there is a chance that superman saw that art you drew of him kissing batman #why is he wearing the costume you designed #is he trying to send a message #is he saying that he really does smooch batman #did superman see your kryptosona #how much does he know
someone said they wanted to be able to reblog this with my horrible tags
no but like… do you sue him for using your designs? Do you politely ask him to stop using your designs? Do you ask him for license fees when the Superman merchandise adopts your design as well?
i am absolutely sure that he would find one with an artist’s comment/description that included “hey superman if you’re reading this feel free to use this anytime ok ;3″ and he would say “oh man that’s so thoughtful, thank you weedhorse69, I think I will” and like how do you explain in court that you, weedhorse69, did not intend for your statement to be any kind of contractual offer because you did not think he would ever find your public internet post with his name all over it
#people are reblogging the version of this without my final addition#offended that i would suggest clark kent wouldn’t credit the artist#missing what i consider to be the obvious facts of the matter#it’s probably a costume designed out of pure thirst too like#weedhorse69 is gonna keep his mouth shut because this way he gets to watch superman#running around town in a costume that really shows off his biceps and abs#he thought it looked summery#the league holds an intervention asking him to please stop wearing it#he does not stop no one can stop him#batman v superman II: clark please put on a real shirt
tumblr is garbage and likes to resize everything and readmores don’t work on mobile anyway so you all will just have to click through if you want to read weedhorse69′s chatlog screenshots
THAT CHATLOG THO
For the love of God
PLEASE
Read Through The Whole Thing
Tags via @robbed-ghost (the tag that was cut off says “#im done I think”)
oh but I adore how everyone in this stupid pirate show is just a guy
I haven't seen ppl talk about it much but. the absolute lack of shredded abs. people show tummy and cleavage and there's not the barest hint of muscle definition anywhere
obviously some of them are very fit but it never leaves "works a physically demanding job and happens to be naturally thin" territory
and guys are fat! guys have bellies and rounded shoulders and chubby cheeks and imperfect teeth and thinning hair and are styled weirdly (that's a whole different post but the crew especially look so unprofessional styled it's great)
and they are still all hot! they are hot and desirable and find each other hot and desirable and I love that
I love to see it! nobody in this show looks like they had a personal trainer. and not just the side characters, not just a token fat guy - obv Taika Waititi is the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that little bit of tummy pudge spilling out of his crop top made us all lose our collective minds. but it's everyone else too; and it's not the extend of it either. no other show would have let black pete within 10 feet of a romance arc, much less been this sweet and sincere about it
this show is so comfortable with the human body in all it's glorious imperfection and I am in love with it
YES i've been thinking about this for DAYS
lots of them have awkward teeth or "unusual" face shapes, and basically no one is hollywood fit, there are multiple fat characters who are never made the butt of the joke for it, the older characters have lines and worn skin... like...
it reminds me of this excerpt from the tragedy of heterosexuality, tbh. how queer spaces, unlike straight ones, get to glory in the body as desirable because of its "flaws" and "gross" details. straight cis norms would have the body be reduced and purified before it can be gendered and made desirable, and we see it all the time in mainstream media: shaved, toned, slimmed, tanned, made up, with all the sweat and filth and disability and fatness and gender abnormality stripped away. women waking up already wearing mascara, men dehydrated so their abs pop on camera.
and this show has none of that. your point about black pete is exactly it! and about the styling, too! in this interview, Maher, Foad, and Schutte mention that the actors were involved in creating and designing their own characters, and it shows! they were there to convey character and personality, not to be convenionally hot or just fade into the background.
And yeah, obviously Blackbeard decked out in all his black leather is both hot as hell and slightly satirising a silly trend ("I have one knife and one gun, just like everyone else!"), but it still has its idiosyncracies, especially as the show progresses. even some of his tattoos are faded or a bit wonky! and I don't think Vikings would've had the guts to put any of its brooding badass heroes in little beard bows and purple crop tops and pretty half-up hairdos.
and it applies to things like accents, too! I've mentioned before about how one of the things I fucking adore about the show is that everyone's just using their natural accents! there are kiwis and aussies and americans and regional british accents and - just, regional accents!! the only accent used as a joke is the Swede, for heaven's sake! everyone else's is just a real detail of a unique person with their own background and perspective.
obviously, among the Brits especially, this also ties into class, and how a pirate show gets to lean heavily into focusing on working class characters, but it goes further than that. no one's doing a silly "yarr, pirate" accent. no one's putting on working class airs or smoothing out regional differences. again, there are real new zealand and australian accents in the mix. !!!
and they're all hot as hell! and they find each other hot! they're normal people with normal quirks, and they're still desirable and funny and (sometimes) competent. they're just human. they're just guys. <3

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Do You Love The Colours Of The Children's Hospital?
I'm so sorry what have I done
I honestly cannot find words for how much I hate this (affectionate)
@smoooothbrain
Ooh, I like that!
what is your eye color. what is your favorite color. what is the color that appears most frequently in your wardrobe. what color is your favorite blanket. what color is your water bottle.
We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.
For my nominations, I’m putting up:
If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
or
It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.
this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful
Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.
if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.
We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.
Two old favourites:
“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)
and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)
This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.
Rare blue watermelon
That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair
How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain
soap makes water molecules smaller
I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012
the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar
“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”
that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him
that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus
The two way mirror
“listen here, cumslut.”
I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.
I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.
all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)
infinite chocolate hack
berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)
mri scan walking dead gif
train gif brain thinks you died
tubby custard machine
horse dildo
moonmelon (and variations)
alexandria’s genisis
bird chocolate fountain og post
soap shrinks water molecules
we are killing the earth
ham on dog
tequila isnt a depressant
earth is lumpy
joker without makeup
voldemort fetus
two way mirror og post
fig vagina
EVERYTIME WE TOUCH FRIDAY (REMASTERED)
my jaw hit the floor
excuse the fuck out of whoever this is
what can't contact mics do eh

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what do I have to do to go to events where people are dressed nicely and there are plates of free cheese cubes
Go to the inaugurations of littlely known artists’ exhibitions.
We are always begging for people to attend, there actually is the “hack” to invite your whole family but tell them to pretend they don’t know you. People with money are more willing to buy your work if they think many people likes it, so your mere presence eating our cheese and canapes will be a great helps. Please bring whoever you want too.
Don’t mind if I do!
I will dress like an eccentric weirdo if that helps.
one time a pal of my pals was having a tough time selling their work in an art exhibit and called us up on the last day, ‘us’ being about 8 students who were Very hungry and also bored. We put on the nicest/artsiest clothes we had available (one dude had a legit fancy suit and put on some shades which were Bright Pink he looked like a movie star I swear) and rolled up to the show in pairs, separately. Fine Art Pal has some nice paintings! but nobody is really paying attention to them, so after getting some fancy cheese cubes in a manner that did not betray that we were actually a ravenous pack of starving students we casually wander around the show and then, fairly individually, drift to a stop by their work. Some of us even walked away, then came back a bit later ‘captivated’ by the art (it was actually really nice but recall we were all poor as shit and this was a help hustle). Our group’s interest naturally caught other folks, and eventually there was a small clump of about 15 people musing over this art, and within ten minutes the biggest piece had been snatched up by a shrewd investor. by the end of the exhibit every single piece was sold. It helped pay off the artist’s student debt and on that success they got into another exhibit! They’ve been doing well ever since.
So yes, please attend new artist shows, you get free cheese, get to look at nice art, and you can really help out people who deserve more attention.
no the only purpose of the ad feature is the bee script, my immortal, and hobbit love. dont proselytize. 🤨
this is the tumblr equivalent of wearing a giant KICK ME sign
terfs are so fucking stupid its actually funny
I probably shouldn't be surprised about this, but a lot of people missing the point here. the joke isn't "terfs calling Sigourney weaver, a hot woman, unattractive" and tbh I think seeing this post and going "terfs are so stupid because Sigourney weaver is obviously gorgeous" is even potentially harmful or at least hurtful
the joke here is terfs seeing a picture of Sigourney Weaver, famous actress and cis woman, but because they were told its a picture of a trans woman they're immediately yakking about how 'clockable' she is
Reminds me of when me and a friend were tabling for Mermaids and some TERF came over and told us, in great detail, why we, two cis women, would never "pass". Because its incomprehensible to them that any actual cis people would just support trans rights. I'm obviously taller than any real woman and my tits are obviously fake, and her man hands and "beer belly" gave her away.
She was six months pregnant
I've yet to hear any definition of womanhood as set by TERFs that doesn't exclude huge swathes of women, both cis and trans alike.
I remember reading such a good heartfelt and intellectual essay about how Frodo Baggins is basically a perfect protagonist and it was absolutely correct but the one part I vividly remember is that there was a section about how he was put down a lot when the movies came out because he showed weakness and by 2001 toxic masculinity terms that’s inherently homosexual and the essay went on to be like “if going forward despite your pain and struggle because you’re kind at heart is gay, gay people should be proud to have him” and like I know what the real point here was but when I read that I was like cheers I’ll drink to that bro we gay people ARE proud to have Frodo Baggins
this is entrapment
two equally delightful paths here:
1) a very simple and genuine “i like your shoelaces”, which tells me that you are either a lesbian or a very cool ally
2) “i like your shoelaces” followed by the pronounced grimace of one recalling their past sins, which tells me that you were a 2012 tumblr user. i now hold the power in this conversation and you are at my mercy.
if you know about 2012 tumblr how do you hold any power in any conversation
well, stucky fanfic url, the trick is to not let them know that you are also cringe
this is the most poignant burn ive seen all year
everyone lost
#tumblr is an ecosystem you kill one trophic level and everyone starts dying
(via @binguscore)
losers gonna pick on losers forever ^-^
Tumblr has the best PvP of any social media

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you guys are missing out on this insane reply
And the very hilarious q&a portion
catgirl strip club but all the poles are scratchposts
(Cat Lunch Break - KC Green)