shit happens (the Alan Moore to Jamie Delano phase

#extradirty
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occasionally subtle

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if i look back, i am lost
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★

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@zarafey
shit happens (the Alan Moore to Jamie Delano phase

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shit happens (the Alan Moore to Jamie Delano phase
please watch this clip of john waters listing his grievances on las culturistas
You point out that something going on in China is very capitalist and there’s always somebody who goes “but aren’t they communist tho”
My friends, pure communism in practice was dead the moment it started and Chinese internet influencers have so many fucking sponsorships per video. Have you had your head under a rock for the past 30 years?
You know why they have entire empty cities in China? It’s not for a growing population. Their population has been in decline for a few years now. No. Its investments. The housing investment market is so deep fried cooked crazy whackadoodle over there that they have entire empty cities. It’s nuts.
can we put Toshiro Mifune and Omar Sharif against each other 1v1. I think that would make people explode (Im people)
semifinals 2024 baby.

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dom who sticks their fingers down your throat, asks you a question, and laughs when you try to answer
Yes, yes, the dentist. We’ve all been there.
Masha The Hero
They forgot the part where the ambulance actually stopped to let the cat in
oh good I was worried
What a good cat. What a kind cat. How can anyone not love cats they are so good and loving.
they also forgot the part where they only found the baby because masha was screaming her head off bc she knew this baby was in danger. she went around outside the alley the next morning and yelled at passerby until she got one to follow her to the baby. she kept him warm all night and then made sure someone found him. she was adopted after this bc she was a stray and is in a loving home and is a hero
Hero cat
Thank you, Masha, you’re such a good girl.
See.
Kittens can’t regulate their own body temperature. That’s why they pile up.
Cats see us as colony members.
Masha saw a kitten that was on its own, no mommy, no other kittens to cuddle with. She instinctively knew that was a cold kitten. She knew that a kitten alone on a cold night was very likely to die. Because a kitten would have died too.
So, all she was doing was what any good colony member does - protecting the abandoned kitten. Then when the abandoned kitten’s mommy didn’t come back, she called the rest of the colony for help.
People have this bizarre idea that housecats don’t have a social sense. They do, and it saved this kid’s life. And possibly Masha’s too, as life on the streets is dangerous for a kitty.
We say “good dog” all the time, but Masha was being a very, very good cat…not just by human moral standards but by feline ones.
Rebloging again because who can resist Masha the Hero cat 😻😻😻
red dead and beyond
bed bath redemption

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my erotic fanfiction is more historically accurate than yours. here it claims that shes moaning 'yes,' however classical latin didn't have a word that corresponds to Modern English 'yes,' i.e. an affirmative answer to an interrogative. You could have easily avoided this glaring implausibility by allowing her to moan plus, 'more'—as exemplified in my critically acclaimed fic with an unprecedented number of kudos (eleven). I recommend that you log out of AO3 and return only after acquiring satisfactory knowledge of the subject matter.
everyone tells me that ADHD isn't an excuse for being lazy and that there are people with ADHD who have overcome their symptoms and are successful but every day I drag around an invisible dopplegänger of myself who is horrible and listless and always complains. and he is so heavy. I'm ambitious and I'm passionate but he isn't and the problem is that to get anywhere in life I have to grab him by the leg and pull him along the whole way, kicking and screaming, and sometimes it gets exhausting. sometimes he pulls me down with him. and it gets a bit difficult to explain to people why I'm lying down on the floor in pain when they can't see him.
I was just looking up the various fonts used in Undertale to confirm something, and most of the answers were expected ones – Papyrus, Comic Sans, Wingdings, etc. – and then I got to the font used for displaying your stats in battle, and... well now.
(For those who are also learning this fact for the first time today, apparently the font used for stats in battle is a custom typeface originally designed for the 2010 indie Flash game Lesbian Spider Queens of Mars called "Mars Needs Cunnilingus". Imagine a skeleton named that.)
Collecting these rn

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I made wangxian fan art (pun intended)🪭
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
Do not let your child suffer from spicy bananas!