هنگامه های میوه ای کارخانه احمق

you can experience life altering devastating emotion and then your cat will throw up next to you & look at you like does this help ?

you were born in 2006? what are you? a Honda Civic?

can i fucking help you?

i loved this poem so much that i memorized it and to this day i sometimes mutter it under my breath to keep my welding tempo even

People who think sheep are killed for their wool are so hilarious to me. Does your barber slit your throat whenever you get a haircut?? Are you a returning customer to Sweeney Todd? Lmao it grows back, fools.

This is completely ignoring the fact that the sheep's soul is stored in its wool. So sure, the body remains, but the spirit, the essence of the sheep, that's gone forever, and then as the wool regrows a new soul moves in.

What

Same for me, I get a new soul with every haircut. That's why my personality changes so much.

Tumblr citizenship means being completely unsure if the person posting about sheep souls is being 100% serious or is just taking the piss.

THEY TAKE THEIR PISS TOO?!?!?

Yup, stockpiling it in giant buckets to pour on the poor

‎

it is a rookie mistake to assume that the person making deeply anachronistic, inaccurate, and fairytale-esque knightposts knows nothing about real knights. i know all about real knights. i just think overseeing the farmland on your estate, explicitly being in it for (more) land and money, fighting less than half the year, and dying of cholera is sort of boring while swearing undying oaths is really sexy

I have been in multiple situations where a friend group I'm not so familiar with starts making jokes about being into weirdo pervert stuff and there is a slight edge of competition to who is The Most Freakish I know for a goddamn fact that I have everyone beat in the pervert department but I can't say anything because they're probably just talking about light BDSM at most and I like things that are complete social suicide in 90% of spaces

like oh when you like puppyplay and choking its subversive and edgy but when I talk about getting my sexual awakening at 8 years old from the really fucking weird plant vore sequence in the third ice age movie it's WEIRD and EMBARRASSING i see how it is,

oh so this post stops getting notes when I make that addition, i see how it is,

damn people rly hate type 2 diabetics don't they

also worth saying diabetes is a complex reaction to a not-yet-fully-understood set of factors and environmental pressures and genetics and it's reductive and fatphobic to say fat=diabetes BUT EVEN SO no matter if someone did incontrovertibly "give themself diabetes" that's not a free pass for dehumanization. shut upppp