#arophobic

Weak-minded

Implies platonic relationships are lesser than romantic or sexual relationships

Easily refuted

"There's no heterosexual explanation for this"

Verifiably true

Strong-willed

I want to preface this by saying I am ~in general~ not a fan of positivity. Trying to “force positivity” is quickly a slippery slope to toxic positivity and superficially. Nonetheless, I feel like I could have realized some lithromantic positivity, and thought it was necessary to share rather than keep it to myself.

It is ok that there’s nothing good about being lithro. It is ok if there are no benefits that we can exploit from ourselves and take advantage of ourselves (or our relationships) with. Lithromantics not necessarily having *any* positives to being lithro (besides our dope flag) means that those of us that have accepted ourselves, are some of the most compassionate, kind, strong, and resilient souls. The amount of self-compassion one has to develop before they can radically accept themselves as lithromantic, is so much higher than essentially any other queer identity.

In a world that has yet to be educated on aromanticsm, aromantics and cupioromantics are scared to date alloromantics, due to alloromantics behaving like it is a “dealbreaker” or “end of the world” if their [romantic] partner is not “in love” [essentially experiencing romo attrac] towards them. It’s valid for both aros and cupioros to be scared to date alloros because of this arophobic mindset they have, tho.

Anyways, a lithromantic might “seem” more appealing to an uneducated alloromantic, since we do experience the romo attrac, or what alloros mistake for “love”. At the same time, once an alloro experiences and returns that romo attrac towards the lithro, the lithro’s romo attrac fades. Not necessarily fades, but flees and turns into romance repulsion (for most lithros). Uneducated, insecure, and/or unaccepting alloros might feel very hurt for the lithros sudden change. Simultaneously, the lithro may also be hurting for not being able to “keep” or “hold on” to the romo attrac. It feels like, being lithro leaves everyone worse off (and is potentially traumatizing for the lithro). This is why lithros who have accepted themselves have learned how to be compassionate and kind to themselves to an extent that most other queer identities never have to go to before they can accept their queer identity, due to there being more external support, education, and acceptance for their queer identities (including for aros).

It is so easy for lithromantics, especially lithros that have chosen to remain closeted, to drown in a sea of their own self-hatred and shame of being an arospec identity that leaves the alloromantics that reciprocated the romo attrac angry and confused. In a world where alloromantics have all the privilege and amatonormativity is everywhere, lithros are so strong, brave, and resilient for existing as our lithromantic identity in a world that refuses to see us, acknowledge us, validate us, support us, accept us, or understand us.

This is where the lithromantic positivity comes in: lithromantics can relate to everyone. Lithromantics know what it feels like to experience romantic attraction; and we know what it feels like to have a romantic relationship look you dead in the face and not want it. We are also romance ambivalent! We understand what it means to have more than one attitude towards romance. We can understand both apothiros and cupioros. We can relate to another largely unknown arospec identity—frayromantism, since frayros also experience involuntary, primary romantic attraction, just like lithros do. We can even relate to alloros in terms of experiencing romantic attraction involuntarily and getting crushes. And finally, we can relate to aros with struggling to desire romantic relationships in the same way an alloromantic does.

There are so many other identities lithromantic is similar to, like aegoromantic, bellusromantic, and frayromantic. Lithros belong in arospec spaces, and lithros’ voices are so valuable to the arospec community. Lithros are essential in terms of helping to bridge the distance and alienation that is only growing between aromantics and alloromantics.

I'm not kidding when i say ally beardsley and their multiple aro-phobic comments have ruined multiple seasons of this show for me including ones they aren't on

because while i dont think they are purposefully being aro-phobic and while i don't think brennan or any of the others are either (especially not Mr brian murphy who made riz aroace) i just- they laugh at the jokes,, cause on a surface level they sound like the "historians will say they were just friends jokes" but thats not how they come off

and also ally fucking said that "friend crush" is a homophobic term and gosh

And saying that not having a romantic relationship is missing out on the best part of being human?! This is invalidating af and ties with the history that paints aromantic people as cruel and emotioless. Aromantic people keep being the non-humans, aliens, robots, etc., and often villains. Platonic love is always portrayed is secondary to romantic love.

And I'm kinda floored, not gonna lie

Because this is the same friend who has referred to me asexual but not as aromantic, like he doesn't get that they're separate things

So the fact that he's going around and parroting that kind of "you are still capable of love!" thing to me without understanding of what all it can mean is concerning

things i wonder on a daily basis:

- what if my mental health is the reason i don’t feel sexual and romantic attraction?

- what if i have an undiagnosed mental disorder or disability that makes me aroace?

- what if i identify as genderflux because because being aro and/or ace isn’t seen as lgbt+ enough?

- what if i’m lying to myself?

- what if people are right when they tell me i just haven’t met ‘the one’ yet?

- what if i actually am gonna die sad and alone?

- what if i am faking everything?

I know a lot of arophobes will come for me, but I have intelligence at my side, which they, seem to lack💁‍♀️