#aspec stuff

This is important because people need to learn that being attractive isn't an invitation for anything. No, ace and aro rep shouldn't be reserved for the ones that are deemed "ugly" and unpopular. Sometimes it will be someone good looking, maybe even gorgeous and charismatic. That doesn't automatically mean that they are open for any kind of relationship.

This isn't just about fiction either. It's about the broader sentiment in our society that it's a waste to be attractive and not open to sexual and/or romantic interactions. It's also about entitlement as well. Entitlement to sexualize and romanticize others sometimes without their explicit consent.

I don't think calling a huge amount of people demi is exactly correct, cause while a lot of them claim that they'd jump on it after some time, a part of them do it after a few months (especially nowadays) & suddenly start claiming how they love them, even if all they did was to sleep with them once & didn't even like them that much (which is prevalent primarily within straight relationships). Demis don't work like that.

That's how they describe "love", alongside acting like being single is the biggest torture ever. And often, they don't even have any standards, cause they think basic human decency & bare minimum is enough. But then will shun everyone who doesn't get satisfied with..basically nothing. Their relationships sound just like an extra friendship or a basic roommatery.

/lh

i swear if i see 1 more post by an ace going 'u have to tag all ur smut for sex repulsed folk' (very true. i do 100% agree with this for many reasons just to make that clear) but then proceed to post so many romantic lovey dovey posts and ships with no tagging at all to say that theres romantic content i swear i am going to punch a hole through my thick brick exterior walls. tag ur romance please. and stop acting like thats so shocking or like were evil for wanting u to tag.

also this weird expectation that u have to 'make up for' ur lack of atraction through romance and platonic love and this weird treatment of romance as this amazing thing that has to be experienced and its clear theyre just trying to say fuck you to acephobes but they just end up coming across very aphobic and like they dont veiw aspecs as valid unless theyre alloro and/or allopl

and the fact that i cant bring up being aspec without it being assumed that im either alloace or completely unloving (neither true (also the fact they go to 'unloving' instead of aroace is odd (im not aroace either but still odd)))

and how very 'aspec pride post' i come across consists only of ace demiace maybe aroace if ur lucky but no aromantic or aplatonic or afamilial or anything else

and 'aspec inclusive' places/event never even having the aromantic flag available let alone other aspec flags or alloace and alloaro flags. and their focus on romantic relationships even tho they were never labeled as having any focus on romance

and the focus on needing love in aspec communities. ive seen so many posts go along the lines of 'aspec doesnt mean we cant feel love' which is true but then go on a rant about how evil and 'psychopathic' it is to not feel love and how theyre 'not 1 of them' and trying to separate themselves from loveless and love complicated folk

tldr: i dont feel comfortable in the aspec community due to the heavy focus on lovefull alloaces and how any1 who doesnt feel love or is a non-ace aspec is just left out and how romance repulsed folk r ignored and treated like were some evil anti-love villian for wanting a bit of tagging