#queer discourse

It's never your job to police the terms people use For Themselves. It's never your job to stop someones self identity because the term has a reaction within you. You can talk as a person about your discomfort and if you don't want it said around you, but you cant act like its an ultimate moral stance or theyre doing something wrong.

In my experience, it's used neutrally most of the time, though I am someone who curates their internet environment (by which I mean I'm liberal with the block button), so I could not say how "average" my sample is.

I have seen it used derisively or to designate an outgroup a few times, though. Frankly it worries me to see it happen. I don't know if it's something new or it's always been there, but it shows a level of insularity in some parts of the queer community, of people viewing the fight for our rights as being against cishet people as a whole, and not against homophobia and transphobia and all the other queerphobias.

people kill us over our identities!!! we are losing our rights!!!! we have been oppressed literally all throughout history!!!! we have never once seen peace!!!

i do not care about label discourse. if it makes someone happy to identify as a lesbian trans man, for example, let them. cause at the end of the day, it doesn’t affect anyone in any way, except that person. yes it may be a little bit annoying to you, but it. doesn’t. matter.

"Lesboys are invalid because it invalidates their identity!" If they're calling themselves a lesboy, clearly they don't feel invalidated by it. Don't like lesboys? Don't date one.

"Turigirls are invalid because it invalidates their identity!" If they're calling themselves a turigirl, clearly they don't feel invalidated by it. Don't like turigirls? Don't date one.

"I'm not calling someone it/its, that's dehumanising!" If it's asking for you to call it by it/its and you're refusing, then you're breaking boundaries. Don't like it/its users? Don't date one.

"I'm not calling someone pup/pupself, that's ridiculous!" If pup's asking you to call pup by pup/pupself, then pup trusted you with that information. Don't like xenopronouns? Don't date a xenopronoun user.

Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean that it's inherently harmful and you need to harass them for it, because nine times out of ten it is in good faith and harassment only makes you angry.