take my punch line

grace was not particularly dark skinned to begin with, and then spent years in a coma with literally no sunlight. he is downright vampiric by the time that he wakes up, and upon seeing his white ass skin, assumes that he is in his own words, a Caucasian male.

unfortunately for him, this fits in really well with his theme of lack of identity and lack of connection. i think for most Black people it would be extremely hard to forget that we’re Black regardless of how light or dark our skin tone is. but throughout the book, even when Grace is thinking about his old, slowly resurfacing memories, he never thinks about family, he never thinks about friends. except for his students and Project Hail Mary, he is completely unmoored.

i’ve seen a few different headcanons for why this might be: he was an only child whose single parent died young, he was cut off by his parents for some reason or another, he just isn’t ever triggered to remember. but no matter the reason, grace is disconnected from crucial aspects of himself. i think that by making him Black, and his Blackness something he can’t remember, it add an extra heartbreaking layer to his characterization. Blackness is such a communal experience, and when it’s not, it leaves behind an ache. growing up Black in White Suburbia i know well both the experience of clinging to one’s own in a hostile world AND the hurt that comes with being severed from one’s community. grace loses so much of himself with the amnesia, unable to recall who he is at the deepest of levels, and i think if he could remember to grieve it, it would devastate him.

i do think he would remember eventually, either when his hair starts growing out (because in the book Armando shaves him iirc), or when he can finally catch a glimpse of his reflection clearly, or when he has a memory of someone in his family. my personal belief is he has a memory beamed directly into his brain of asking “Mama, am I white?” and his poor, long-suffering mom saying, “Now who the hell told you that?”

Prestidigitation: heat, chill, flavor, or clean anything instantly; light or snuff small flames; create short, harmless sensory effects (sparks from your fingertips, faint music, smells)

Thaumaturgy: creates harmless sensory effects; more powerful and sustained than Prestidigitation (project your voice, create sustained auditory illusions, tremors in the ground ect.)

Druidcraft: predict the weather; effect the growth of nearby plants; short, harmless sensory effects (like prestidigitation but with more nature flavor)

Mending: repair breaks or tears in any object

Message: send short, mental messages to anyone within 120 ft. of you. They can respond.

Mage Hand: creates a spectral, floating hand that can carry up to 10 pounds

Minor Illusion: creates a small, convincing audio or visual illusion for up to one minute

Spare the dying: stabilize a person on the brink of death

Shape water/ mold earth: minor earth or water bending (they are 2 different spells i just put them together for space)