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no no i actually think it’s super fun that you took that aro/ace character and bent them over backwards to make them gay!!!! we all know being gay is more #progressive than being aro/ace so i’m so glad you freed them from having a storyline unconnected from romance and shipping!!! you go diva!!!
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I finally understand why that argument was always making me angry
I've seen a decent amount of discussion about the acephobia/amatonormativity in Stratt's line to Grace that "You don't even have a dog," - how Grace's lack of a traditional romantic partner or offspring make him more disposable in the eyes of the world and the project.
What I haven't seen much discussion about is how it applies to her too. Eva Stratt doesn't have friends, or a family waiting for her. She doesn't have a dog either.
How many times has Eva told herself it's fine that she's going to be the world's scapegoat, because there's no one who will be hurt by her suffering either?
tbh I really dislike how aphobia tends to be discussed whenever there's some kind of incident that makes it visible to general society. The most common response seems to be some variation of "why would anyone hate asexual/aromantic people, they aren't even doing anything" and it just always sits wrong with me. It paints such a passive picture of our existence and feels like a comment influenced by the level of invisibility that aspec people have in society. Why would you be annoyed by someone who is practically invisible? Just go back to ignoring their existence, it's easy!
But despite the invisibility, aspec people are actually doing quite a lot of things that will piss off queerphobic, right-wing and religious people (and hell, even left-wing people). And the most obvious point is that we are actively not performing heterosexuality the way they want us to. People who's entire world view is "cis men and women should be in monogamous, heterosexual marriage and have (white) babies" are not going to lean back and say "oh but those asexuals and aromantics are fine". They will also hate our guts, and they will come up with all sorts of reasons, including insinuating we're all secretly into bestiality, or mentally ill, or not human, or attention seeking children. It's just plain old queerphobia, and like all queerphobia, there's no inherent logic to it which you can worm your way out of by "not doing anything".
And like, there's a lot more that aspec people do which people hate. Raising awareness about amatonormativity? People feel attacked, they hate it. Asexual people having sex? Or not having sex? People hate it! Aromantic people being in (seemingly) romantic relationships? People fucking hate it! Aromantic people having sex? Ohh people hate that!!
I guess the existence of aphobia can be confusing when you haven't spent much time thinking about asexuality and aromanticism, but in the end, these are identities that aren't heteronormative and they will be hit with the same or similar bigotry as any other queer identity. I just get tired of this response after seeing it recycled for 10 years without ever seeming to go any further.
i dont want kids. "well you might change your mind!" no i wont. "well you could help infertile parents and do surrogacy" pregnancy is a part of why i dont want kids. i dont want that. "then do adoption" still dont want kids. "but what about your partner" im aromantic. "but if you had a partner" im aroace. "you might still change your mind" no i wont. "you might meet that one person who'll change your mind. trust me" I! AM! AROMANTIC! AND! ASEXUAL!
"how can you have dated people if you're ace" shut up shut up shut up shut up
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Niger has just become the first country to criminalise asexuality ‼️‼️‼️*
Typically asexuals don’t have protection to begin with (we are recognised partially in two countries as of 2025, may have updated since then but doubt it) so we aren’t included.
This is the first case of “asexual acts” being criminalised.
It’s illegal not to have sex?
Is it illegal not to have sex for religious reasons now? Such as a nun or priest?
Not only that; but the laws (if there are any) around consent have just been demolished. A man could now accuse a woman who won’t sleep with him of “asexual acts”, resulting in prison time. They might have a strict “not before marriage” faith/law, but don’t tell me someone won’t do this.
*along with almost every other identity. Which is also important, this is an aro/ace blog tho so we will focus on that.
Edit: best summary article I found here
if your response to, “I wish there was more sex repulsed asexual representation,” is to point out not all aces are sex repulsed, maybe first stop and ask yourself why you are doing that. We live in a society that’s constantly telling us we need to have sex and I’m so glad there are aces who aren’t bothered by that, but it doesn’t invalidate those of us that do not want to. This isn’t a competition, I want to see all kinds of aces, being upset with a lack of respect for sex repulsed aces doesn’t mean I think the rep that’s already there for sex favorable aces should be changed. I am capable of wanting both, why aren’t you?
“Reminder that aspecs can still date and love their friends and family” and themselves. And their hobbies, and their passion in life, and the media they consume and their pets and places they like to go and food and drinks they like and in fact they don’t have to subscribe to the idea of “love” at all. You don’t have to date or have friends or family to be a person. You don’t have to fit into what society wants your life to be like to not be a robot. When I complain about aphobes implying that people who don’t date are machines, I’m not just complaining that they devalue platonic or familial love. They’re devaluing the idea of being your own person and thats a type of aphobia people don’t talk about enough. Aspecs can do whatever they want forever and that includes everything.
