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most of my friend group is somewhere in the LGBTQIA+ spectrum. Obviously, during pride month, we all get excited, plan for parades and such. However, on text and face to face, when I bring up being aro, or including aromantic decorations and stuff, they shift the conversation or ignore me completely. Then one of them told me that I wasn’t included in the pride month party planning because “You aren’t really on the spectrum like the rest of us”.
this is arophobia
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Tbh I automatically don't trust anyone who ships characters who are ace, acearo or aro because like they always pull out "B-BUT ITS A SPECTRUM" shut your acepohobic ass up fucker. Why is that ALWAYS your excuse? What if for that character it's not a spectrum. And yeah I get it "well they're a fictional character so it doesn't matter"
okay but what's your opinion on real ace, acearo or aro people? Do you respect their ace, aro, acearo status or is it "a spectrum" to you too?
What if we want representation of a character that doesn't want sex or romance or both. Why can't we have that? Why are you taking that away from us? What? Because you can't understand how anyone even a fictional character doesn't want love or sex?
Unless that character is say explicitly aroallo and you ship them so they can fuck another character. Okay chill
Still i don't trust you when you ship ace/aro/acero characters. Because I don't trust you around me, as an ace person myself 🤢
At this point I will just block you if you post ship content involving Mirabelle.
Like... Did you play the game?
Is it so incomprehensible to you that a character can be non-partnering aromantic?
if the only way you can enjoy a piece of media is to insert romance when there’s next to none in the original i think you have the personality and imagination of wet cardboard
i thought i’d genuinely finally see a fandom where shipping/romance isn’t prioritized over everything else, including the original themes of the media itself
and in my lifetime (yes it genuinely feels that bad) i never thought i’d see a PROTAGONIST actually widely headcanoned as aroace instead of from 3-5 people including me
but of course i can’t have shit and that barely lasted before the allos™️ got their grubby hands on phm
seriously why is markiplier here. put him back where he came from or so help me
i can’t even check the aroace grace tag anymore without seeing ship content bc “aroaces can still date” or whatever their excuse is now i’m so fucking tired
and i keep seeing posts like “the shippers and the aroace grace truthers are holding hands uwu” no the fuck i’m not
being romance and/or sex repulsed (or hell just aspec in any way) in fandoms is not for the weak
i’m constantly fighting in the war but i will not back down
I have a lot of thoughts on the topic of how fandoms treat asexual/ace-coded and/or aromantic-coded characters, but one thing I would like to say is aro/ace coding is often influenced by ableism (e.g., this character doesn’t act like a “regular” human being so obviously they’re not interested in “normal” human stuff like romance and sex), and acknowledging that isn’t erasing representation.
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arophobia is when ppl try to paint every physical act under the sun as romantic and deliberately ignore contexts that imply it's not. like no i'm not gonna feel bad about showing familial affection. you're the weirdo for jumping to incest
this is arophobia
When I was younger, i lived in a southern state in the us. One of the ones that's barely southern, but still noticeably different than more northern ones. Because of that, I was in a lot of spaces where ragging on minorities in a joking, unserious manor was the norm. I knew it was wrong, but I played along so nobody got mad. Now I don't. I know HOW bad it is, and I refuse to be like that. So I entered more left leaning dpaces, like tumblr. And I saw places where minorities were everywhere. And you wanna know something?
It's the fucking same.
In the right spaces? "Black people commit most crimes!" "Finish what h*tler started!"
In the left? "Kill all white people!" "Straight people aren't people!" "Cis men should be burned at the stake!"
You say you're better, but you're just switching the roles. And that's just as bad. Because now, as someone who could fit in nearly any category, I'm banned from all of them. As a white guy, I get harassed for just being near a gathering of POC. As a cis male, i get called "gross" and "rageful" by women. As an ally, I get called slurs.
But when I'm here, i see posts tagged with "all men suck" and "kill all white people" and, as both, I get attacked. So cut it the fuck out.
You know what would really stop people from getting chased out of groups for who they are? And what would majorly decrease hate for either side? Education abd acceptance. A white boy wants to learn about african american culture? Tell him. A guy wants to be friends with a girl? Why the fuck not? A straight person wants to hear about LGBTQ+ experiences and help them? Take that mf under your wing. An able bodied person wants to help you with your disability, but doesn't know how? Teach them. Anything other than hate. Hate from one side results in hate from the other. I understand that changing, and abandoning the hate takes time and effort and doesn't happen suddenly, but it still needs to happen. I'm lucky enough to say that I haven't experienced physical violence due to who I am, but I still suffer because people, especially YOU people on tumblr, exclude me for not being your definition of "valid". Equality isn't taking turns being in power. Its everyone being treated the same at all times. So do it. Want proof that it works? I'm your proof. I came to tumblr not understanding genders beyond male, female, and nonbinary. I didn't know any sexualities beyond gay, bi, ace, and straight. And someone taught me. I didn't understand why my white grandparents were okay with deportation, and they told me about how my dads best friend was murdered by an illegal immigrant. (Obviously that doesn't excuse it, but they still had a reasonable conversation and explained themselves, unlike a lot of you.) It works. I promise just teaching people works. Just try it. Please.
i dont know if its thaaat bad arophobia, but whenever i bring up how i really dont wanna be in any romantic relationship in the future, my parents who are... mostly supportive... will always be like "thats fine! but.." and theres ALWAYS just SOME sort of "but you may change your mind later and thats fine too!" like- NO. i AM AROACE. I AM NOT GOING TO JUST "change my mind" ABOUT THAT??? i dunno if it really counts, and they might just mean it in a "you can still figure yourself out :)" type of way but its been reeeeeally annoying me, and they dont do this shit with my lesbian sister, she just said she doesnt like men and they went cool without any kind of insinuation that she might just change her mind later... so idk... maybe theyd stop if i outright said "i am aroace" but i mean. i said im not really interested in any romantic relationships and that the thought is kinda gross to me, so idk why i should have to make that MORE clear for them to see it... i think theres definitely worse cases of arophobia, this is only relatively minor, so im not 100% sure it counts.. but i think its definitely some kind of arophobia :/
this is arophobia
