#arophobia

Editing because people have mentioned in the tags, thank you for reminding my dumb ass:

(Edit: I admit this was a very 3rd world country thing to say about sexual minorites that I wrote in frustration)

We are still legally classified as a mental disorder or psychosexual dysfunction in most countries. Aroace people have fought hard, partially successfully, to have asexuality removed from the DSM-V in 2013.

My sexuality, aegosexuality/autochorisexuality, was literally named and defined by a doctor who wrote about it and asexuality as a paraphilia, in 2012.

Aro/aces are at high risk of experiencing conversion therapy. We're 10% more likely to be offered or undergo such therapies compared to other sexual minorities, and around 48% aromatics reported having experienced attempts or suggestions to "fix" or "cure" them. This includes being pressured or even forced to take medication.

Aromatics are especially discriminated in mental healthcare because of all the above.

In some places non-consummation is a ground to annul marriage and/or is ruled as cruelty. Basically, if you don't have sex with your partner, in the eyes of law, you are being cruel to your husband/wife and you're at fault for the divorce.

Asexuals are significantly more sexually assaulted than homosexuals (but not bisexual).

Aro/aces are not protected by most anti-discrimination laws, because asexuality is seen as lack of sexuality and not a sexual orientation. Same goes for romantic attraction.

Aro/aces have secret codes/signals for showing other aro/aces their identity without needing to come out to others. We wear white and black rings on specific finger and hand, just like gays did with handkerchiefs and lesbians with carabiners.

There's almost no media that doesn't dehumanise people who don't feel romantic or sexual attraction. Those that do exist were made by aro/ace people.

Surveys show most allos don't understand what asexually is, even when they are confident in their definition. This leads to almost all of asexuals being told they aren't actually ace because of xyz by allos.

Stop using my identity to invalidate my aro siblings

And if you're truly set on making aro characters romance-favorable, then do that!

My experiences are not the same as someone who is alloromantic just because I'm romance-favorable. You can't just slap 'romance-favorable' on an aro character to write them how you would an allo.

Have them grapple with being in a relationship and feeling guilty that they don't feel what their partner feels. Have them have tough conversations with their partner over how they feel and their specific limits. Have them fight the internalized arophobia they feel that tells them they can't really be aro if they're in a romantic relationship.

Me talking about how other queer people target me for having masculine traits isn't me saying that cisallohet perisex men are oppressed for being men and feminism sucks and lesbians are evil.

Me pointing out how late diagnosed autistic people treat me like an other for getting a diagnosis early isn't me saying late diagnosed people are privileged and have power over me.

Me saying that aroaces have mistreated me and pushed me out of aspec spaces as an alloaro isn't me saying that aroaces are my oppressors and they don't belong in aro spaces.

"Can the people who are in the same community as me but have different experiences please stop treating me like shit" isn't me saying that I'm the most oppressed person on the planet and no one but me suffers. I'm just asking you to stop treating me like shit. That shouldn't be a controversial statement.