You're right and you should say it.

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@arialerendeair
You're right and you should say it.

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the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds
#i was in a car with a linguist i had never met before the car trip and like half an hour in he looked at me#after i finished describing a geology thing that was happening out the window and asked if i'd ever spent much time on tumblr#the fuckor of it all#and then we spent six more hours driving#it sure does leave linguistic markers! i'm not sure i'm good with it (tags via @thoughtsformtheuniverse)
it is one thing to be a linguist and another to be a linguist who knows enough of 2010s Tumblr to spot one of its enjoyers
Oh! @meret118 see above comment! The use of the word "enjoyers" instead of "users" or "bloggers" -> You left a comment a while back asking, "Does this just mean vocabulary words? Other than blorbo and sweet cinnamon roll etc, I can't think of what a Tumblr accent would be." I almost never see anyone use the word "enjoyer" anywhere outside of tumblr, but I see it on tumblr fairly frequently.
Another one is the verb "perceive" i.e. "don't perceive me" "I am perceiving" "I am being percieved." That's something that feels very specific to tumblr parlance.
There's the thing where people on tumblr have an emotional reaction to something and instead of, or in addition to telling you how they feel about it using emotion words, they will narrate a fictional action in the present progressive tense. "I am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure "I am kissing you on the mouth" "you are going into the soup" "you are getting all of the awards"
I once saw someone use that response format in ... I think it was a restaurant review, or a doordash review, or something like that. It was very unexpected seeing it outside of a tumblr post.
There are a lot of other tumblr linguistic quirks I can't currently remember off the top of my head, but I'll instantly recognize them if I see/hear them outside of tumblr. It's always a bit startling to see them out of context.
when I was in university one of my modules was about internet slang and for our grades project we had to compile and analyse a small database of 100 words used by a specific community of our choice. I chose tumblr and that's how I stumbled across Gretchen McCulloch's research and discovered that yes not only did tumblr have its own vernacular and syntax (as @lierdumoa demonstrates), it was at the time a crucible of slang and memes probably unrivalled by any other part of the internet. and it's stayed that way! even the very title is McCulloch's book because internet is an example of this specific phraseology.
sadly my project is lost due to the website being wiped from the university database after graduation and my then laptop having a major hardware failure. backup your backups people! but the crux of the entire module was that the internet is full of communities using language not only as jargon for specific purpose but also to signal membership in said community. I even wrote a bit about non capitalisation and punctuation useage as a visual cue on tumblr and how including information in the reblog body or the tags indicated different levels of importance or intimacy of thought
I am holding the side of your face and looking deep in your eyes and telling you that love is stored in the syntax, and that we are rotating words together all at once as we all nod at their new and baffling meanings. if the devils sacrament be tumblr then the devils gospel is our collective voice. thanks for coming to my tedtalk
I am being perceived.
hereās a quick-ish lighting study from a fury road screencap
What�
*Zooms in*
WH A T!?!?!?!!!!!!
nice screencap edit there op-
w-wait.
āstudyā
holy shit
For those of you still figuring it out: THIS ISNāT A SCREENSHOT, ITS A FUCKING PAINTING.
HOLY SHIT
The three types of kink are
* you have power
* you're safe
* feet
this is a shitpost but I think it's not THAT wrong. Most kink is either one of (or a combination of):
You get to play at having power over someone else. This is your dominance sorts of things, your sadisms, etc.
You get to play safely. You can play with scary things while knowing there's safewords and a dom/top who loves you.
Feet. By which I mean, there's some normal part of the human experience that your brain has for some reason fixated on. Maybe you're into red hair, or glasses, or fluffy tails.
"safety" can also present as "useful". You have some intrinsic value that cannot be taken from you (because of some sex/kink thing). The safety is from abandonment, because you're useful, despite everything. And "useful" is a bunch of kinks (none of which I'm comfortable mentioning here).
oh no, animal ears are feet
yeah. cat ears are feet!
can someone turn this into the calvin's dad dialogue
oh god, this is so obviously calvin's dad dialogue that now I'm worried that I plagiarized it without realizing it
the two types of tumblr post are calvin's dad and rule 34. all posts fall into one of these two categories. despite being kink-related, this post is actually calvin's dad.
I saw this and had to save this image cause I definitely have a few readers like this.

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me explaining goncharov to my mother: so tumblr made up this scorsese crime film and they're arguing about its themes and-
my mother, completely deadpan: well are they reviewing the theatrical release or director's cut.
me:
my mother: what does frances ford coppola think of it
Your mother is the only one who understands me
Be prepared to get comments like "Your hair is so pretty. You wrote her hair so pretty. Why is she so pretty?" And "Your writing is so good. I can really tell what he's saying and oh he smells so nice. That's a cool looking bag. Your beta has awesome shoes I bet. What's her name?"
Let the endless compliment cycle begin.
Iām so into this
It's five years later, I just saw this pop up on my feed, and I'm still so into this
let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of
"didn't they already do this withā" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them
THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW
okay I'm thinking about this
not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.
like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.
and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???
Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters
Bro's fucked.
art by Daviddv1202
at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"
it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.

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[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I hadĀ to share it.]
I know we all love the āhumans are space orcsā concept⦠but imagine, onboard the new ship theyāve been assigned to, the human meets an actualĀ space orc. A massive monster⦠fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesnāt need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.
⦠Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over bothĀ coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesnāt quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a quaālem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear⦠oh, you alsoĀ have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!!Ā
It doesnāt take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed theyāve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.
Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me⦠Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.
Not quite an āOrcā per-se, but eh, close enough. See here giant spiky Deathworlder simping for tiny shouty Deathworlder.
The space orc is delighted to finally know a species that, as a whole, does not tend to fear them. if anything, the fact they are large andĀ āscaryā looking and designed to survive nearly anything seems to make the humans almost resentfulĀ but in a friendly sort of way. The idea that any species can go where humans canāt is taken as a challenge to our very DNA and their homeworld quickly sees a blossoming human tourism industry as humans fling themselves into the most challenging and dangerous of places even the actual orcs consider exploring carefully.
āThe introduction of these two species may be, galactically speaking, something akin to an ecological disaster.ā
āHow so, Puir?ā the junior researcher asked, their multifaceted eyes sparkling with curiosity.Ā āAre they dangerous to one another? Humans seem to get along with every species they meet and the Hilammu are known to be a gentle, if physically intimidating, species.ā
Puir wobbled their head in the negative expression.Ā āActually, the problem seems to be that encountering the Hilammu and their world has⦠exacerbated human predilections.ā
Pez gaped for a moment.Ā āBut⦠how is that evenāā
āIn the past six months three hundred and eight humans have died on Mogruālam, despite the Hilammu trying to protect them from themselves. The human phrase,Ā āWatch thisā has become a meme amongst the Hilammu indicating a likely fatal choice.ā
The junior researcher blanched.Ā āBut the humans only made contact with the Hilammu eight of their months ago!ā
The senior researcher on sentients behavior purred in what was the equivalent of a human sigh of exasperation.Ā āTheyāve requested to set up an embassy on Mogruālam and three dozen Terra-based companies have asked the Hilammu if they can buy land to establish a tourist industry.ā
āThe humans have become an ecological threat to Mogruālam?ā Pez was horrified. The human history with their own hell-world was well known as a cautionary tale amongst other species.
But instead, Puirās four eyes blinked furiously and they wobbled a negative response again.Ā āNo no noāif anything the humans have made a point of impacting Mogruālam as little as possible. The threat is to themselves - at this rate, the Hilammu are concerned the humans will develop a death cult based around their planet! They have voiced strong concerns about the humans doing something calledĀ ābase divingā, which is apparently different from a separate complaint of humansĀ āfree divingā. Also, for reasons which none have managed to explain, they keep trying to climb Gurhorkat.ā
āGurhorkat?ā
āIt is the tallest and least hospitable mountain on Mogruālam. It stands at ten kilometers above their sea level, the highest kilometer of which has oxygen too thin for human lungs. The Hilammu keep having to rescue them or retrieve their bodies.ā
āThatās terrible!ā gaped the junior researcher.Ā āWhy would they try such a thing? Hillammu lungs can barely breathe at that altitude, and they modified their species for that trait!ā
Puir rubbed their forehead.Ā āBecause, and this is a quote from several humans,Ā āyou just gotta.ā So you can see the cause for this to be considered ourĀ problem.ā
The junior researcher felt a bit faint.Ā āI know we must work to preserve all sentient species and their well-being as a matter of galactic ecology but⦠but maybe some species should be exceptions? Humans seem to survive fine without us despite their best efforts.ā
āThere is also concern some humans will ask to co-settle with the Hilammu.ā
āThey canāt be serious.ā
āThe Hilammu love the humans but they are seeking a sentient ecological protective order for their own good.ā
āWhat have the humans said?ā
Again, Puir found themselves rubbing their forehead.Ā āThe human ambassador replied,Ā āWell, if they donāt want us moving in thatās fine. Weāll settle in the neighboring system.āā
Pez thought for a moment.Ā āThere are no habitable planets there. The closest is an M-class thatās less hospitable than Mogruālam. Oh no.ā
āTheyāve already sent the colony ship.ā
Youāve just realized something strange about the humans. Theyāre a race that joined the galaxy recently, but youāve just found evidence of them already been part of it for many millennia before, but it feels like everybodyās forgotten.
We were delighted when the people calling themselvesĀ āhumansā joined the spacefaring races. They were clever and agile, hot-tempered and humorous, fierce and yet friendly, a young species with much to offer us.Ā
Most species are still delighted. But we are the Bybleotekar, the recorders of the spaceways, and we have begun to wonder. Our merry companions are⦠not different, but too much the same. They understand so readily, accept so quickly - most new species have trouble adjusting to dealing with aliens, to the realities of space travel, to the sheer bigness of the universe. But the humans are so adaptable, so ready for it all, they might be remembering something theyāve forgotten, not learning something new.Ā
Some of us, the Izaslanik of the Bybleotekar, the gatherers of information for the record keepers, began encouraging humans to join us, that we might study them more closely. They like the work - they are a curious species, delighting in new knowledge, and they make able assistants. My human companion is named Mira, a young female. She is a good companion, who sings sweetly and laughs often.Ā
When Mira struck the first blow against what I thought I knew of the universe, against illusions soon to shatter that I had thought were truth, we were attending the coronation of a lesser Netar of the Kktil, recording the customs and ceremonies and unofficially enjoying the colourful celebrations. Mira was watching the dancing, her mouth widened in aĀ āsmileā.Ā āItās so pretty,ā she said, her hairless face sheened with sweat under the hot sun.Ā āI love the turquoise jewellery.ā She pointed to the bright blue stones that bedecked the dancers.Ā āI should buy some. Our homeworld doesnāt have any turquoise, you know. Only a few pieces we brought with us when we came.āĀ
It takes me a little while to understand what she said. It is only later, during the feasting, that I turn to her again.Ā āYou said your homeworld doesnāt have turquoise. Only⦠what you brought with you. Do you mean turquoise you have bought offworld, since you joined the spaceways?āĀ
Keep reading
Si hombre pero que dise tu
Day 180 since Craig moved in. he clearly thinks heās dating one of us but we canāt figure out who. itās possible one of us is lying about it for some reason but so far our efforts at inquisition has led nowhere. we would kick him out but heās been doing the dishes for us. weāve decided that for the sanity of the polycule weāll keep up the charade. if all of us continue to be flirty with him, heāll project his attraction onto whoever the hell he thinks is into him. this house of cards is delicate but necessary
It got funnier
This is how cats domesticated themselves

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heh. didn't even stand a chance.
to everyone in the notes asking for a translation: panel 1: "weigh your heart" (the suffix pronoun for heart should be .k not .ti i think but i see what you are going for. also, my copy of faulkner doesn't have a copy of the word but it's pretty clear from context what it means) panel 4: "what"
anyway op good job this is really funny and better than 99.9% of hieroglyphs on the internet
@thatlittleegyptologist
xAa is 'to throw/dispatch/abandon' because fAj is the verb 'to weigh' (this can be checked on the Thesaurus Linguae Aegyptiae), .tj should be =k as already pointed out.
Thus with xAa as the imperative 'dispact/throw', the scales determinative doesn't belong to that word and is thus a word in and of itself the 3-consonant jws.w (the .w is just a plural, it's still 3-consonants), and then .tj which should be =k.
It's more: xAa jws.w ib=k 'chuck your heart on the scales' *ma'at gets obliterated* ptr 'what'.
As an aside; it's not good practice with Middle Egyptian to go 'we can infer this from context' when you can't find that word in one dictionary. You should be consulting at least three. Also, because my ass has been doing this for nearly 20 years, just so you're all aware xAa is in Faulkner:
This is page 183 of my personal copy of Faulkner's Concise Dictionary of Middle Egyptian. xAa is right there! You'll see that the picture of the entry for the TLA also cites it as FCD 'Faulkner's Concise Dictionary' 183.
You know the art is good when the academics start getting spicy in the notes
āIf I had time travel Iād kill Hitlerā āIf I had time travel Iād stop my favourite politician getting assassinatedā youāre all thinking way too small. If I had time travel Iād stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.
Good Job.
#this post gets me every timeĀ
Itās from two days ago fam how many times could there have been
do you think no one else has time travel
Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.
#surprise reblog!!Ā
STOP ITāS BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!
YOU CAN STOP.
wow if only you had a time machine
Honestly having reached a billion notes I think itās safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.
Iām killing your parents before youāre born
Still here, whyād you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian
Your mumās ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. Iām your dad now.
Isnāt that the plot of Terminator
Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?
This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I canāt even
Imagine how I feel
POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!
It doesnāt have to
Yes it does.
Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041
We all know who needs to be @ād
@hellsite-hall-of-fame