Silver, they/them. Should probably start posting

I’m on the ace & aro spectrum. I have not had a romantic or sexual partner in over 7 years. I have also been in fandom for a long time & have always been a shipper, and I GET how it feels to see a character do something on screen & go “holy shit that’s such deeply queer behavior?!”

But as someone whose primary relationships are ALL either familial or platonic, I struggle a lot when I hear “there is no platonic explanation for XYZ.”

I get what people are saying is that “this behavior clearly reads as romantic/sexual between these 2 characters” and hey, I’m with you! I also read it that way! I also want my two blorbos to just kiss already!!

But “there is no platonic explanation” is a definitive statement that is not open to nuance. It’s literally saying any possibility of a platonic explanation doesn’t exist or doesn’t count. And I never see said in the context of “there’s no platonic explanation for why this single character would behave this way toward’s this other particular character”. Instead, it’s always followed by “people who are just friends don’t act like that.”

So here are some examples of things from my own real life experience with my just friends that people insist there is no platonic explanation for:

- physical affection with close friends: this includes long hugs, forehead kisses, hand holding, lying with our heads (or feet) in each others laps, cuddling together, running hands through their hair, etc.

- sleeping in each other’s beds

- going on “dates” where we spend quality time together one on one & treat each other for an activity or meal

- bought each other flowers/treats/gifts for “No reason”

- inviting them to family events like Thanksgiving, Christmas, camp outs, vacations, etc., including overnight events

- taking one another to the hospital & being their emergency contact

- caring for them during surgery recovery to the point we become the other’s point of contact for extended family/friend groups

- agreeing I would be their kid’s legal guardian if they died

- attending parent teacher conferences

- discovering our kids think we’re dating

These are just the ones I could think of off the top of my head. Literally ALL of these have happened to me personally & all have been in platonic relationships.

Real people do all this stuff platonically. I know. I’m real people! That doesn’t mean the characters you’re discussing are doing it platonically. I’m not saying your interpretations about fictional characters are wrong, but I am asking that we check our allonormativity & consider other ways to talk about queer coding that isn’t dismissive of other people’s real experiences.

This is genuinely what I think every single time someone says this

The devaluation of friendship as an important relationship in fandom spaces is INSANE

"But they saved this other character's life so they must be in love!" Would you not save a friend/family member's life?!

"Friends don't care about each other THAT much" are you and/or your friends okay?!

"But them only being friends is so boring" ?!??

It's just incomprehensible to me that everything must revolve around sex and kissing to be interesting/important to some people, like for example the PHM/Iron Lung crossover almost entirely being makeout art (why can't they cross over and just be friends?!) Or certain relationships like Connor and Hank in DBH whose whole storyline is about them becoming friends with each other automatically being "upgraded" to romance in the fandom (because OBVIOUSLY friendship can only ever be the beginning of something "more" and not a complete and fulfilling relationship by itself)

Pov you're Three and multiple fuck off massive ships saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe ✨

Very vaguely inspired by this from Platform Decay (mild spoiler):

I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore. She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I can’t hang out later that day. When I said i won’t feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and “joked” that I’m just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her it’s a normal thing for me.

“But you got the diagnosis now, aren’t you better?? I thought you’ll get better now”

I'm not exaggerating about that, btw. My great-grandfather collected postcards all his life, starting as a little boy in Norfolk in the early 1900s, and among his collection is a postcard sent by a cousin who lived way up north. She posted the card first thing one morning saying that she was coming down by train to see her aunt and would be arriving at just after 3pm that afternoon - the same afternoon she posted the card. The card literally says 'this afternoon'. Posted first thing, and it arrived in good time for her uncle and aunt to know they needed to meet her off the train at 3pm that same day - and she knew posting it that it would arrive in good time. Same day delivery, and that was something like 1905.

Rate my voice fag/10

If the above stretch ain’t compatible with you for reasons like having bitch ass knees, here are some alternative and amazing stretches for the muscle in order of easiest to hardest (but imo least to most helpful) to perform:

However, just keep in mind that none of these stretches will help you if you have a herniated disc, which compresses the nerve roots that protrude from the spine itself! For that you’ll for sure need some different medical intervention.

That is, when an official told you, a rice farmer, that you owed more taxes than you really did, it was very useful if you were good enough at math to know he was lying (and could prove it) and if you were good enough at writing to write a letter to your government defending your case.

Education in Japan didn't become widespread, with nationwide standardized exams, until after the Meiji Restoration. Japan of course wasnt a democracy; it was blooming into a fascist nightmare. So why was this the time when education became available to all people, the rich and poor, boys and girls alike?

Education as a universal human right was not a motivation for the Japanese government.

Instead it was motivated by the desire to cultivate 人材, jinzai, human resources/talented people. Jinzai could help the empire expand. Even today, the Japanese government explicitly uses the term jinzai prominently in its Ministry of Education documents.

So if, today, we're heading into an era that looks increasingly fascist, the government could still be motivated to educate its people in order to remain competitive.

But let's say that 50 or 100 years from now, AI is doing for us what the jinzai of the past used to do: the coding, the engineering, the diagnosing, the war commanding, etc., etc.

Let's say we actually only need a few flesh-and-blood jinzai to oversee what AI is doing. Those people would need to be incredibly intelligent and skilled, but if the need and desire for everyone to be educated has dissipated, then who are the select few who will have the opportunity to become educated? Will we fall back into a society where only the wealthy can school their children?

Governments will not explicitly tell you, a student*, what your education is for or why you have access to the kind of education you have access to, but this is something we can research and reflect on ourselves, knowing that historically education has been utilized for expanding empires as much as it's been a tool for promoting human rights.

Me: I am literally just doing my job. Everyone else is slacking off.

invisible

never explained

always a different size

you have to guess the size

happy new year -------------_--------------------

He was genuinely shocked. He thought his crush was unrequited and was trying to be a gentleman. I thought half naked lap grinding was an impossible to miss signal.