Raphael Ross @scholarlypidgeot - Tumblr Blog

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sepublic

I do think it’s interesting how the novel Dracula is meant to be a modern setting from its perspective. It’s very much that genre of story about an ancient fantasy archetype finding itself in a modern setting, complete with the rules-lawyering that often comes with modern parodies (that isn’t to say the stories of Olde didn’t have fun with loopholes either though).

Except Dracula is a story that plays itself straight. The vampire himself is not stupid. He’s possibly the oldest vampire of all which means he upgraded from animal instinct and mindless echoes of past memories to someone who’s regained his critical thinking skills. The story begins because he’s already adapted to how the modern world works now by hiring a solicitor who understands modern laws.

He knows now that he doesn’t have to march into London with an army like he used to; He can just buy property and the laws of London are forced to respect that. Similarly he’s already experimented in and discovered loopholes to vampire rules and limitations; Vampires are bound by the permission of owners so he simply uses his solicitor to buy and own a bunch of properties. If he needs to be invited in, Dracula hypnotizes someone to let him in.

Vampires need to return to their grave every dusk/dawn (whichever comes sooner), which causes their coffin to act as an anchor that limits how far from it they can travel? Dracula simply rations the earth of his grave into fifty coffins and spreads them across London so his range becomes exponentially larger.

All of these things make the story almost come across as a deconstruction and it might just be! It’s just that Dracula the novel became such a trendsetter that people nowadays see it as playing things fully straight. It almost feels as if the novel is written with the idea that readers have a basic understanding of vampires and their rules, so part of the thrill comes in the revelation of how the titular vampire is working around these rules. Likewise I’ve heard it used to be a trope in English literature for a traveler to visit some foreign land with a monster and escape by going home. But here the foreign aspect of the story is just the first (and final) arc; The monster’s plan hinges on coming to the UK itself!

So yeah. Dracula isn’t stupid and he reflects the idea that people of the past had just as common sense as the rest of us, they just had access to less/inaccurate knowledge and things worked differently back then. Dracula would be like… That bit of someone showing a medieval peasant a meme as they comprehend it perfectly and aren’t even wowed by the Doritos. If Dracula was set in the 21st century he’d probably understand social media well enough to become an influencer if he wanted to, though the issue of being invisible in cameras wouldn’t help.

#dracula as a podcaster #wonder what he'd call it

depsidase

supreme-leader-stoat

Uh oh lads and ladies I've accidentally hit upon a really good dessert.

I literally just chopped up some leftover storebought pie dough into squares and fried it up in some 350-370 degree oil to see if it'd turn out like beignets. It didn't, but they're still really good, especially with powdered sugar. Better than my pizza-dough donuts and for about as much effort. They're super buttery and flaky. The only downside is that if you don't hold them carefully they just kind of shatter.

supreme-leader-stoat

i may have Regrets

sonpat-rides-again

mortalityplays

something you learn fast and necessarily when you get into the habit of writing is that you are riddled with blind assumptions, prejudices, unpractised rhetoric and all kinds of unchallenged cicada shell thoughts that were left stuck to your mode of being when bad ideas fled you. most people get to move through the world behind a kind of modesty veil that divides their internal thoughts from their external observations, but you have to take that off when you write. you have to suddenly present the whole world to itself nakedly, without the kindness of someone who can stop you mid-sentence and say "hold on, I know you, you can't possibly mean that". people are often scared to show their work to an editor in case the editor points out what they look like without their modesty veil, but god, christ, hell and heaven, you have to be more afraid of what the whole world of strangers will see if you don't let someone pick the cicada shells off you first.

mortalityplays

op is wordy, bloated, stylistically self-conscious. suggest condensing: "an editor is a guy who eats bugs"

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orcboxer

and the post begins

because otherwise it gets kind of visually confusing to parse, which is annoying to some folks, including me

GRANTED not everybody uses the same theme or even the same update. you might have noticed my version of tumblr is earlier than yours (I don't like the new button setup)

but still, it's just about being polite

so now you know

ghost-in-the-library

watched maleficient last night. has anyone explored the economic and material ramifications of getting rid of all your spinning wheels in one blow. you’re back to drop spinning now, and it takes roughly 6-10 hours of spinning for the yarn to allow a single hour weaving. everyone ought to be spinning, kids included. the housekeepers should be spinning. people waiting for their wares to sell should be spinning. guards on duty should be spinning. i must believe the only reason we don’t see all this spinning on screen is bc the camera loves watching the king’s descent into madness, which i agree with. that man is spinning something, but it ain’t fiber.

rohirric-hunter

I don't go here but in terms of Sleeping Beauty in general I had always assumed that 1. the kingdom ended up doing a lot more import/export of fiber and thread after the ban and 2. there was a pretty active underground spinning wheel black market

voldemo

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian

voldemo

its like ive never seen herbivore

ezekestiel

i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away

snapcracklepop-myjoints

just had a disconcerting thought

snapcracklepop-myjoints

how do u pronounce georg of spiders fame

gay-org

george

other

Remaining time: 3 days 15 hours

edgar-allan-possum

Georg is an actual name pronounced "gay-org" in real life, guys

#possum knowing that doesn't change that my pronunciation is jee-org

thatdisasterauthor

I think the thing that annoys me most about AI on a personal, day to day, level is what it has done to grammar checkers. If you've never done a lot of editing, or used to 5+ years ago but haven't really in the last couple years, I can't even begin to describe how fucking BAD this shit has gotten. And as an author it is EXHAUSTING.

I just want to catch spelling errors and accidental double spaces and repeated phrases and whenever I use the wrong too/to or affect/effect and shit. But no. They've shoved AI up the ass of every grammar checking software out there and now they all fucking suck and make the most random, obnoxious, nonsensical suggestions.

And yeah, I can ignore all the times it's trying to get me to cut out any semblance of my own voice, or shove things into the wrong tense, or make the most random suggestions on comma usage. But if it's getting all that WRONG, what is it just straight up missing that I SHOULD be correcting? What real spelling and grammar errors are still lurking in there?

thatdisasterauthor

"Use Libre Office."

I get why people keep saying this (and other versions of it like "Use Adobe alternatives" and "Use Google product alternatives."). But here's the problem: I do not create in isolation. Even my own 100% personal projects are getting sent to other people whether it's editors or printers or beta readers and unless every single person in that train is using the same products, things can get wonky.

Libre Office and Word handle formatting differently on the back end, which can completely break documents if you move them back and forth between the two. So if I write in Libre Office but my beta readers are still using Word, when I send them a manuscript for review there's a good chance things won't look right and my beta reader will not actually be reviewing what I sent them.

Industry standards are industry standards FOR A REASON. Having everyone on the same workflow can be crucial to getting things done effectively and correctly without creating a lot of extra work. And those things are not going to change overnight, as much as we might want them to.

thatdisasterauthor

:| :| :|

Yeah, Word, let me just leave this whole chunk of dialogue without the closing quotation marks. That's the thing to do. How dare I have two punctuation marks in a row. It's not like that's how closing quotation marks fucking work.

thatdisasterauthor

I am going to light something on fire.

thatdisasterauthor

And you know, for young writers, this has got to be so detrimental just from the perspective of opening your document and seeing a million corrections that, frankly, don't need to be there. If you're a young writer you're likely not going to have the background knowledge to know what is and isn't a good suggestion, you're just going to see a document that makes it look like you made every mistake possible so clearly you must be a terrible, stupid writer and should just give up.

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a4g

problematic plot relevance gap

inbabylontheywept

i think if i asked peter thiel for 500 million dollars, and told him that my business plan was to spend 499 million of that on oil futures, and the remaining 1 million ordering the entire stock of pizza, burgers, fries, shakes, jamba juices, schitzels, fucking wetzels pretzels, the whole lot, within 50 miles of the pentagon, just to see if i could blow up the pentagon pizza index enough to move global oil markets 0.2% and recoup my losses... i think that if i asked him that, in those exact words, he would give me 1 billion dollars just to see if i could do it twice. and i would try. god forgive me i would try.

inbabylontheywept

this is less about being smart and more about having some small pearl of evil lodged in the center of your being. you lack the evil pearl. thats okay. not all of us can be descendants of wicked oyster men.

storyweavingspider

There’s a spider in your computer. Her name is Astrid. She heard the World Wide Web needed a World Wide Spider, but she needs some help getting to each place. Can you reblog her to help her get everywhere?

bakwaaas

okay I’ll bite. and bite and bite and

#anarcho punk

bakwaaas

okay I’ll bite. and bite and bite and

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pangur-and-grim

always doing something annoying

pangur-and-grim

can I be honest? I was so pissed off by friends and family criticizing my soap choice that, for half a year, I did an experiment where I washed one hand with Palmolive and one with handsoap, to prove that it didn't make your skin any rougher. and do you know what the result is? it does make your skin rougher. and now I'm even more pissed off.

heavilyglacialvalhalla

I love this. This is the beauty of the honest scientific process. You had an idea, you tested it and you still reported the results even though the results disproved your idea.

It's ok to be mad at it, you're an honest scientist.

tobiosty

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