Raphael Ross

I have many padlocks (and other, uh, lockable devices) to which I probably have the keys somewhere but it's frankly quicker to pick (or in some cases, technically bypass but what most people would still call picking) the lock than find the right key.

And usually yes, that quickly.

I was not expecting the visceral nature of this picking; the single thrust and twist, the casual toss, the verbal disdain, the sense like you just watched something be swiftly gutted.

Penny Rose: Babbles in Baby

All of tumblr collectively at my husband:

Husband: you don’t even have to understand taxes yet! I can explain them but you’ve got several years before that’s relevant!

Penny Rose: wide eyes, staring at her father, almost intrigued

THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND

Husband: Now Penny there is a lot of misinformation out there in the world and I hate to tell you this but the moon is in fact not made of cheese. That is a conspiracy theory pushed by Big Dairy.

1) Did you participate in baby talk to make up for your husband's deficit, or did you also opt to speak to the Deals Warlock like a very tiny adult from babyhood?

Something funny that has happened is that while she formally calls me Mama when she's answering me in passing she does call me "My Darling Love" and I don't know for sure but I think it's because I call her and her father "my loves" and her father calls me and her "darlings" and she's created a mash up 😂

Penny Rose is now 5 years old and she

1. Starts talking the moment she opens her eyes to the moment she passes out at night

2. Asks, and I am not exaggerating I counted, an average of 892 questions a day

3. Does not accept "I don't know" as an answer to said questions, will usually have a follow up question as to why you don't know OR a suggestion on how we can find out together

They're already married to each other

This story is multiple thousands of years old