Raphael Ross @scholarlypidgeot - Tumblr Blog

big fan of telling people "have fun" when they say theyre going to the restroom

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creekfiend

many women are excited to get old and weird, but i have great news that it's fully possible to become weird now, before you get old. just imagine the heights of weirdness you will be able to reach in fifty years if you get started now. that's what I think

butterflies-and-bumble-bees

you can also just do both (dress up as ab old lady and go grocery shopping)

@cursedchildofchaos

sioltach

Person in the grocery store had amazon rainforest sounds blasting on their phone as they shopped and I think that's a beautiful use of free will

sioltach

"people who don't wear headphones in public are a nuisance" except this one. I respect their indomitable human spirit

professor-cold-ramen

Maybe it's just me but all colognes just smell like vanilla extract and baby powder

#I've found two (2) colognes that do not do this.#one is called smoke and leather. it smells like cigarette smoke. I use it for my Punk cosplay.

sing-a-songofsix-pence

I love reading classic books because I get part way through one and I suddenly realise that despite its prevalence in pop culture, I don't actually know what it's about, or how it ends.

and that is great. because then I get to read the rest of it and then, finally, I sit there and I go "oh, fuck, THAT'S why it's a classic!"

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catmask

i love when pets huff or sigh dramatically. like i am sorry. you're so right. you live such a laborious life. it must be so difficult to take naps and get pet and fed treats and played with all day. really a packed schedule youve got there boss. how do you manage it all. well no matter i'd say it's time for your well earned 7th afternoon nap

making-friendos

I hate ai so fucking much

making-friendos

I have been informed that someone has been using ai to make alternate versions of my art. Please let it be known that I have never and will never use ai for anything and if you see "screenshots" from this blog featuring ai art it is someone else creating it

spiceyourdongers

Sorry no consistent theme here we're blogging minute to minute second to second even. The situation is dynamic

ofchaosgoddess

help I’m having ideas beyond my available free time

nothereforthedrama

help I'm having ideas beyond my available energy levels

shiningshenanigans

help I'm having ideas

faustique

i love friendships that influence me to be kinder, smarter and healthier. i love when people have a positive impact on me.

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free-my-mindd

positive-pumpkin

If this is the sign you're looking for, please

stay alive

stay safe

Drink some water

eat something

get back into the things you love

Unclench your jaw

do some self-care

Take a shower or bath

Take your med(s)

nealashitposts

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you.

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.”

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened.

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?”

nealashitposts

I suspect they were trying to keep me busy and distracted while they cleaned up the corpse in the living room?!?

nealashitposts

someone said tumblr nuked this post, but I could never be so lucky.

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

let's put Scooby and the gang in a genuine horror movie situation, i wanna see what these freaks are truly capable of

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

"didn't they already do this with—" no. put them in a slasher film. put them in a BLOODBATH. put this van full of weirdoes in a Texas Chainsaw Massacre scenario i have FAITH in them

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

THEY'D DO WELL IN SAW

batneko

okay I'm thinking about this

not Saw specifically but a slasher with a legit body count. Summer camp slashers are overplayed but I think it really works because it's the type of thing the Scooby gang WOULD get caught up in.

like some of the counselors didn't show up (got got) so the head counselor calls his younger cousin to see if him and his friends can fill in last minute. They show up and they're a bunch of nerds, one of them even has an anxiety dog, and they don't have a big role at first. It seems like the movie is setting them up as cannon fodder.

and then the deaths start and suddenly the nerds are locked the fuck in. The little one with the glasses actually fixed the phone line and is taking stock of all their supplies in case the vehicles go out. The counselor's cousin who seemed like a himbo has set up a perimeter and made makeshift alarms for all the doors and windows, knows all the entry points. The anxious one and his dog are keeping the mood up with the snacks and activities that were supposed to be for the kids, making sure nobody panics and starts making dumb decisions. Somebody tried to grab the redhead and she flipped him over and had him zip-tied before anybody noticed. Weren't they a D&D group or something? What is happening???

lizardlicks

Fuck the slasher movie just effectively becomes Home Alone but with Four Kevin McAllisters

Bro's fucked.

ode-on-a-grecian-butt

art by Daviddv1202

dawen

at one point the kid with the anxiety dog says, "man, why does this keep happening? this is, like, the eighth time thid year!"

it's barely June. abruptly all the normal councilors understand a) why he has an anxiety dog, and b) why the dog has anxiety too.

diabowlicat

Please tell me someone other than me finds this funny because I've been cackling over this idea for four days now

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shotofchinaco

Brian McFadden: Is Google Cooked? (via Daily Kos)

redstonedust

big fan of characters who look cool and tough and stoic but only because theyre internally thinking "fuckkk what do i say. how do i make friends. they didnt teach me how to do that in sword school."

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