Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”
You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

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@dancingspirals
Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”
You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

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Zooming around after hours a duck caught on store’s CCTV🔊 audio on
the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.
a 6th grader tried to ragebait me the other day and i didn't even realize because i was in awe of this perfect 31 on my potato and she kept getting pissed at me and calling me a 'number lover' and i was like 'i sure am :)!'
forgot to say that im a teacher. a random 6th grader didnt spawn into my lunch break to mock me, though that is really really funny to think about

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okay, everyone who presses the red button survives regardless, everyone who presses the blue button dies if the blue button count is below 50%, and everyone survives if the majority press the blue button
which button do you press
Red 🔴
Blue 🔵
aaaaand, new scenario:
A third button has been added. everyone who presses the red button survives regardless, but if a majority press the red button, everyone else dies. If a majority of people press the blue button, everyone survives—except for anyone who presses the green button. Everyone who presses the green button gets a crisp 1 dollar bill
which button do you press
red 🔴
blue 🔵
green 🟢
I don't want people who voted green to die, but I had to choose blue again, since we're not told what happens if majority votes green. The first one said that everyone survives if the majority votes blue, but the second poll doesn't say the same thing about green. I'm forced to assume that this question is being asked by a evil trickster deity that is maliciously hiding the information of what happens if the majority votes green.
Knew it
i never said that
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.
the truly evil part about lolcowing is that the targets are almost always people who have done something/things that are unsavory at best or objectively harmful at worst and that is used as justification to treat them however you want with no recourse whatsoever. like you suddenly have permission to dehumanize someone for what, fucking entertainment. and if anyone tells you to cool it for a minute, suddenly they're supportive of that behavior, making you effectively immune to anyone who disagrees. like apparently nobody's ever heard of disproportionate punishment
The Angel of Death
FISTS YOU
And then you Die
Context: my teacher translated the verb “to grasp with one’s hand” as “to fist” since that’s kinda what it literally means, but you can’t translate it like that into English because “to fist” means something ENTIRELY different, but she doesn’t know that.
So she was explaining how they use the verb to describe the angel of death taking your soul — he rips your soul out of you with his fist. Now that’s pretty damn metal, but she said word for word “the angel of death fists you, and then you die” which is the single most terrifying and powerful sentence to ever grace my ears
Op i appreciate the context but i was going to rb anyway no questions asked
I was walking out of the Walmart today, and a car passed me, and I got this incredibly vivid impression. It wasn't really in words, but if I had to put it into words, the two key points would be
a). I needed to watch that car and
b). That I needed to be careful, because the driver of the car was a massive bitch.
It kind of took me by surprise, because I really had no reason to be beefing with that car, and I also hadn't really had an impression like that since I was religious, which was in my teen years. Right? It'd been a decade since I had a little voice whisper in my ear, and I'd basically written it off as nonsense.
Anyway, I watched the car, because The Spirits or whatever were very insistent that I did. Car drove fine, went into the parking spot, inched forward, and right when it should've just stopped, the driver gunned it for some reason and it ran into the curb and cracked its bumper.
So, the driver got out, and she went to the front of the car to check that yes, she had cracked her bumper, and then she turned to look at me. The parking lot wasn't empty, but we were the only two people standing in that row, and I'd probably been staring at her for tenish seconds now.
She demanded very angrily to know why I hadn't warned her of the curb. And I could have said I didn't know you were about to gun it or is it my job to help every stranger park, or even could you have even heard me, inside your car?
And all of those would have been fine, but I was really, really busy digesting that I had somehow communed with Mormon Jesus again for the first time in fifteen years, and that the communion had mostly been there to let me watch someone park badly (?), so what I responded with was:
"Because it was foretold."
And I can't tell which would be funnier, if she went silent because there's not much to be said to that, or if she went silent because in Utah, she might actually believe me, but we parted ways without more words.
I'm still kind of digesting this myself, actually.
God is real but only to tell you to look at that dumbass fail a basic parking manoeuvre

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If this ain't me
Me, bleeding profusely from a missing leg as I’m being dragged onto the beach: THIS WAS A STATISTICALLY UNLIKELY OCCASION, IF THE SHARK WANTED ME DEAD I WOULD BE DEAD. SHARKS ARE IMPORTANT FOR THEIR ECOSYSTEMS I DO NOT CONDONE ANY ATTEMPTS TO HUNT THIS SHARK
if an animal kills me, that was on ME. it caught ME slackin. let it eat me
I made the MISTAKE of entering ITS territory UNPREPARED
free the nipple has to make a resurgence for a number of reasons but bro look at our upcoming eternity of wet bulb temps youre smoking straight up cock if you think im keeping a shirt on when it hits 105° in new england
everyone tits out with a parasol is such a beautiful world to imagine that the fact it doesnt currently exist fills me with equal parts fire and misery
NASA lapel pin.
I own this pin
as someone with ARFID i really couldn't care less about the distinction between "picky eaters" and "genuine eating issues." if you are an asshole to someone you see as "just picky" i will never, ever trust you. i've lived through the trauma of being shamed and humiliated for my eating needs.
frankly i think a LOT of "picky eaters" have some kind of sensory problems– autistic or allistic– and shame is never useful. i don't fucking care how annoying you think we are. if you've never lived through the humiliation of being the only one not eating at a dinner table, or having to choke down something disgusting you already know you hate because other people insist you don't know your own body, or getting a hunger migraine in a house full of food because none of its edible to you? you don't understand how awful it is to have food issues.
whenever i see people draw this distinction between being "just a picky eater" and "having a real problem" all i think is, who does this serve? most people don't even know ARFID exists. there are so many undiagnosed autistics, or just people with a variety of issues that aren't officially diagnosed. why do we need a medical label in order to be treated with respect and compassion? why did i need to be diagnosed as autistic for my family to realize the abuse they put me through for years because of my eating habits?
it's such an easy habit for neglected groups to fall into– the idea that a medical diagnosis can save us. that by appealing to the medical/psychiatric industry, we can be protected from abuse and given basic respect and resources. but the truth is that it should never have come to this in the first place. dignity doesn't come from an abled doctor telling you that there's a medical reason for your symptoms. it comes from being a person. once you accept that you need a Good Reason to have your needs respected, you doom yourself to neglecting and abusing those who have your same struggles because they aren't lucky enough to access medical recognition.
tl;dr solidarity with all "picky eaters" stop guilting people for having varying food needs, if we make you irrationally angry that's YOUR problem not ours, and abolish "children's menus" & replace them with simple-food / small-portion menus for people of all ages

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