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[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz
Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.
Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.
My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.
Called the county clerk.
Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.
Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?
Me: Yes, but he's a cat.
Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?
Me: He's a legal cat.
Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.
Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.
Clerk: You can file on his behalf.
Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."
Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."
Me: What's the medical reason?
Clerk: He's a cat.
Me: That's not a medical condition.
Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.
Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.
"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."
Took the letter to my vet.
Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.
Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?
Me: Excellent question. No good answer.
Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.
Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?
Vet: On what grounds?
Me: He's a cat.
Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."
Me: Perfect.
Sent it in. Got another rejection.
"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."
My roommate thought this was hilarious.
Roommate: Felix is going to jail.
Me: This is serious.
Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.
Decided that was actually the only option left.
Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.
Checked in at the courthouse.
Clerk: Name?
Me: Felix Martinez.
Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?
Me: Yes.
Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.
Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.
Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?
Me: I filed three. All rejected.
Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.
Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?
Me: Twice.
Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.
Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.
Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?
Me: You tell me.
Supervisor: This is a data error.
Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.
They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.
Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.
Me: Appreciate it.
Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?
Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.
Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.
For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.
Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.
Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.
Roommate: That's what they all say.
Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.
Fitting end to his legal career.
end id]
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SZA receiving an autism diagnosis is going to be healing to so many undiagnosed girls, but especially for a group of girls who are even MORE unlikely to be diagnosed—black girls! I am so beyond proud of SZA for getting evaluated and sharing this update with us because its going to change so many lives. I barely know any celebrities who have been open about having an autism diagnosis. I havent seen anyone on tumblr post about SZA’s post which could be a problem with my curation of who i follow but i wanted to share this awesome news with my followers!
I feel like season one gets too much of a pass from the fandom for its writing weaknesses, especially the giant plothole that there is simply no outrunning an agency of time travelers.
Cutting out the tracking device is meaningless because they can just continue to send wave after wave of agents to the moment in which they knew Five's exact location. The show never set up any limitation on time travel which is crucial if you're trying to make it an obstacle in your story.
The show does set limits on Five's individual power, though, which is all the more reason The Commission would have been successful if the show were writing with any investment in them as characters/antagonists and not merely paper tigers,
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I've seen a bunch of "fandom etiquette" posts on my dash today and I'm going to say something that is maybe going to be unpopular but;
The absolutely pervasive mentality that unwanted criticism or critique shouldn't be given and should be ignored is why fans of color don't stay in fan spaces.
And I am not going to mince words here:
A lot of you are racist. A lot of your fan works are racist.
That might have been difficult to hear. And if it was, you should probably reflect on why that was.
"Fandom etiquette" has created a space where fans of color either bite our tongues and eventually leave or say something, get dogged on, and then eventually leave.
So much of "fandom etiquette" seems to be about insulating creatives from Feeling Bad and hostility to any kind of negative feedback is a pretty big contributor to why bigotry festers in these spaces.
So, after putting together that post about how Kendall changed through the first 2 seasons, I started brainstorming some in-universe reasons for those changes. These are the very serious headcanons I came up with.
Theory One: Being a very bad boy had very significant consequences
This is one I've mentioned at least twice before. The existence of Kendall Knight in his BTAudition form can be roughly traced back to Big Time Bad Boy. This is because having the Bad Boy Off with WayneWayne was just too much for his system to handle.
Kendall's bad boy traits needed to come out organically. His back-talk, sass, and defiance were all things that had to happen on his terms, through the natural course of his days. Blatantly not caring about anything Gustavo said and constantly thinking up schemes took effort, and Kendall needed to pace himself.
Being forced to the level of bad behavior that was required in order to save his place in the band meant Kendall had to channel that badness and unleash it on command. Smashing some records and body-checking a guy into a wall is one thing, but he had to COMPLETELY destroy Gustavo's office with a sledgehammer. He had to go to the bathroom in a drawer. These are all very unnatural things to do, and they threw Kendall's entire brain out of whack. The whole ordeal took a big chunk out of his edge, and he never quite recovered. When all was said and done, we were left with an altered version of Kendall.
Theory Two: Love turned Kendall's brain to mush
Let's disregard theory one, shall we? Let's say that the Bad Boy Extravaganza didn't have any negative impact on Kendall at all. He still started to change personality-wise after this episode. Hmm...what episode immediately followed Big Time Bad Boy? Why, it was Big Time Love Song! With this episode came the introduction of Jo, Kendall's main love interest through the series.
Kendall goes goofy around Jo from the start. He gets hearts in his eyes and wants only to win her affections. It takes a few episodes to do it, but it eventually happens. And while they're very cute together, it could be said that meeting Jo and falling in love was the catalyst that started his noticeable personality change. Whenever Jo was around, Kendall pretty much swung between Very Silly Guy and Guy Drowning in Paranoia.
Could it be then that being in a relationship killed Audition Kendall? Is love the antidote for being a bad boy? Perhaps!!
Theory Three: Schemers don't wear cardigans
Kendall wears a lot of plaid throughout the series. You know what else he wears with increasing frequency as we move through season 1 and onto season 2? Cardigans.
I can't see Audition Kendall wearing one. In fact, I don't even think it's possible for a person to jump up onto a table in a fit of rage while wearing a cardigan.
People who wear cardigans are gentle. I picture Mr. Rogers when I think about cardigans. Or a nerd sitting by a fireplace with a good book. Or Logan, who happens to ALSO have cardigans as a clothing staple.
I don't believe this is a coincidence. Stay with me here: remember in Big Time Guru when Logan started dressing cooler, and it not only majorly upped his swag levels but also nearly killed James in the process? Well, James was clearly experiencing some psychosomatic symptoms because he loves being dramatic, but I DO think the way one dresses can impact personality and confidence levels (maybe to a heightened degree in the crazy BTR universe).
So, here's what happened. Somewhere early in season 1, Kendall was gifted a cardigan, maybe by Logan himself. He discovered he liked cardigans, except integrating them into his wardrobe had the added side effect of altering his personality. That troubled, argumentative side of him got toned down, like when Lilo put that lei on Stitch to stop him from destroying her room.
Theory Four: Kendall didn't escape Hollywood Fever after all
I feel like I may have briefly mentioned this in a past post, but I couldn't find it. You know how Kendall supposedly escaped Hollywood Fever because he didn't lose touch with his roots? Well, what if that wasn't actually the case? What if Kendall did develop the fever, but a mild enough case that nobody noticed? What if his connection to hockey kept it from turning into the full-blown cases his friends had, but wasn't enough to stave it off entirely?
I propose this: A mere handful of episodes into the series, Kendall developed a chronic case of Hollywood Fever that would not only last through the series, but intensify. It is the reason for his increasingly neurotic behavior, his exaggerated reactions to things, and at the core of his transformation.
Theory Five (the only semi-serious one): Audition Kendall was a persona molded from necessity
Let's look at Kendall Knight's pre-L.A. life. Namely, let's look at his family situation and factor in the most widely-accepted headcanon regarding it (one Challen Cates essentially verified): Kendall's father cheated on Jennifer and then walked out on the family either shortly before or after Katie was born. He then had zero contact with them and essentially vanished from their lives.
For someone like Kendall, who I believe had those leader/protector qualities in him from the start, this fracturing of his family forced him into roles before he was really ready. He had to become the Man of the House and protector of his mom and little sister. He felt he needed to be the one trying to hold things together, even though the biggest concern he should have had at such a young age was learning to tie his shoes.
It's not far fetched to say that this stress and pressure pushed Kendall into a pattern of being the protector and fixer for everything in his life. Guy taking care of his family, guy taking care of his friends. Guy controlling every situation in an effort to keep things from falling apart. With this added pressure came angst, leading to the version of Kendall we see in Audition through the first few episodes of the series: fiery, impulsive, manipulative, and defiant. His personality was a protective shell—formed out of necessity in a world that felt unstable and untrustworthy.
It remained in place as he got situated in L.A., but as things settled, the sense of security that came with the lifestyle and finding success in the music industry allowed him to finally drop his guard. The "anger management issues" side of him melted away, BUT it also meant the floodgates opened and released all the pent-up anxiety that was underneath the anger the whole time.
This, friends, is why Kendall starts out as a guy who jumps onto a table and rage-sings, talks back at everything said to him, and lives for trouble, and ends up as a flailing, anxious, ridiculously silly guy. He's finally in a situation where he can truly let loose and be himself but is also wading through years of suppressing that more anxious/overwhelmed side of himself.
Alrighty. Well, that was fun to write. Let me know which theory is your favorite or if you have any alternatives to explain what happened to Kendall.
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