"Because I'm Fucking Curious"

Some days I feel like I’m 29 feet away from a Japanese radish

the second radish is 29 feet away

this is legitimately the funniest post on this site

Getting plowed is for the country folk. Here in the city we call it being taken to pound town. And if it's a place with decent public transit, getting railed.

D’artagnan on his first day in Paris:

I'm in a little local cafe and the women behind the counter started griping to each other, "Oh Christ, Stephen's back again," "It's him, is it? I thought he'd stopped coming," "It's definitely him, look, it's bloody Stephen on a Thursday morning," "Do you want me to get rid of him or are you going to do it?" and so I was peering outside, trying to spot this nightmare customer, this pestilence of a person, this pox upon the cafe trade, and then one of the women from behind the counter ran outside, clapping two trays together loudly and yelling "GET OUT OF IT, STEPHEN!" and it turns out that Stephen is an absolutely gigantic fuck-off seagull who hangs around outside, menacing people for crumbs

dancing crabs dancing crabs dancing crabs come ON dance you little fuckers I want to see those exoskeletons bumpin dance goddamnit DANCING CRABS I AM MANIFESTING IT SO HARD DANCE DANCE DANCE CALL THAT ETSY WITCH AND TELL THEM TO GET OFF THEIR ASS

I love the implication that, as Larry is an "unpaid trainee", the dog is paid.

i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone

this is the first time in my life i thought oh i hope there’s music

I miss the days when, no matter how slow your internet was, if you paused any video and let it buffer long enough, you could watch it uninterrupted

If you use Firefox, you can go to the about:config page, search for "media.mediasource.enabled" and double click on it to set it to false. After you restart Firefox, all youtube videos will load entirely even when paused! This also affects other streaming websites :)

We jailbreaking browsers now lmao