The little girl in me is screaming in delight🥹
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The little girl in me is screaming in delight🥹

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tbh no april fools gag tumblr ever pulls will ever be as good as the lizard election of 2016 staff put more effort into that than the rest of this website combined and it shows
for those of you who werent here in 2016 on april fools that year the entire fucking website was transformed and there was an election for a position that wasnt even ever specified and the candidates were four lizards (or three lizards and a salamander as a scandal would later prove) and it was called decision2016
each lizard had their own 3d models and tumblr blog and campaign and there was also a tumblr blog dedicated to reporting on the election and they made like whole ass news broadcasts with a guy in front of a green screen
you could vote for your favorite candidate and there was a built-in function that let you make and post a campaign poster
in case anyone was wondering the winner of the election was mop. relatable and reliable. #Mop Could
lest we forget
This was absolutely the biggest April Fools effort I ever witnessed while on staff. I already posted about this in an ask but here’s more of the shit that went down behind the scenes.
- Like all April Fools, this was done entirely through volunteer work on Staff. No one was forced to work on April Fools, it’s always employee-initiated and driven, even if it needs approval from leadership.
- The prank almost didn’t go through because leadership felt that the lizards weren’t relatable enough, so the compromise was to give them hats.
- The video updates on the Decision 2016 blog were greenscreen Fiverr actors that were all recorded months? Weeks? in advance? I wasn’t on creative so I don’t know all the deets about how those were made.
- As mentioned in my post, the victory speech by Mop was one of our designers screaming as loud as she could in a closet near the end of the day. The full audio was never posted but staff kept passing around the scream on slack and laughing about it for months afterwards
- There was a “war room” dedicated to advancing the election narrative as votes came in, posting updates in real time and also pushing changes to code as necessary (for bug fixes and what not)
- The votes were real and the “election” was decided by real users, even if the graphics and whatnot were exaggerated for comical effect. Mop won because Mop won. Democracy at work
- Someone brought in their own lizard to celebrate the proceedings. It was a bearded dragon
- This was the culmination of what was probably the most cohesive and imaginative (and largest) creative team Tumblr ever had. Unfortunately almost all of them are now long gone, and Tumblr Creative is now just a skeleton crew compared to their peak
- Wretched Tooth Doesn’t Like To Talk About Himself
- People drew porn of the lizards and posted it on Tumblr. Staff saw it and were sending it to each other on the company Slack. We thought it was great. I mean, terrifying, but great
- This picture of David Karp is my favorite photo of David Karp I have on my phone
a whole chapter of my tumblr memoir will be “lizard election 2016”
it was the first project i ever led myself, and i thought i’d be fired for sure by the end of it. completely worth it. would do it all again.
my only regret, echoed by @zacksultan and a few of the other creatives, was that we didn’t get BuzzFeed and other press in the war room with us at the time. it was magical.
the secret lives of real birbs!
@whyoneartheven for u
"Make this the year you prioritize yourself and cut out anything/anyone that doesn't serve you—" um, bestie, you are meant to love and be loved, not to isolate and subjugate. hope this helps.
Cut out anything that doesn't serve you sounds like an evil dictator mindset lol
some of my favorite woven tapestries, by Cecilia Blomberg:
Point Defiance Steps
Mates
Rising Tides
Vashon Steps
WOVEN TAPESTRIES???
WOVEN TAPESTRIES?!?

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Can’t leave stoat’s tags to wither in the notes
remember, these are the animals that still get hunted with weapons designed to make them stop coming toward you, more than they’re designed to actually kill them in one shot. General recommendations for load out include large caliber “backup guns” in case it gets too close after the first long gun shot doesn’t kill it.
Because boars are basically berserkers, and hurting them makes them want to hurt you back so bad that they would impale themselves on the spear you stabbed them with in order to reach you and murder you before they bleed out.
I once worked with a woman who went on a boar-hunting trip for her 40th birthday. her husband, carrying a large-caliber semi-automatic rifle because he’d done this before, drove one out of the tall Kansas prairie grass, but didn’t see where it went until he reached the clearing where his wife was standing, pointing her .357 magnum pistol at the beast as it charged her
she didn’t fire until she was certain of her shot (no time for a second shot when a creature that big is charging that fast and all you’re holding is a revolver)
her hubby only had time to shout and unsling his rifle before watching her fire directly into its brainpan from just 12 feet away. by the time it skidded angrily toward her, it was deceased - but barely, still biting at her feet
he never went hunting with her again
ovaries of iron on that woman
i used to work with a guy who regularly went boar hunting with a bow, and he refused to use guns to do it because he had quote “seen too many bullets bounce off them”
Then he explained that boar have a really dense really thick layer of fat under extremely tough skin and the way the physics of that works apparently means bullets can skip right off them instead of penetrating.
We all made fun of the 30-50 feral hogs guy but he was right.
If anyone wants to hear from the 30-50 feral hog guy, he gets interviewed on this podcast
I listened to this while doing some work and really enjoyed it.
Line weight. Perspective. The tilting of the head. Expression. Volume.
This early Modern human knew exactly what we learn to this day in order to create the illusion of life in 2d art.
Whoever they were, I admire them as much as every other great master.
Reminder that we have evidence prehistoric cave dwellers were capable of drawing realistic depictions, and the stylization you see here—the line weight, the implied movement, the accentuated features—are thought to have been deliberate, artistic, aesthetic choices
I love how art never changes, no matter the age we live in
new tag game: the thing you most often pretended to be as a kid—whether it was a horse, a bride, a queen, a specific character, a knight, a lawyer, a baby, anything—is symbolically representative of you currently. what is it for you?

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Why do you worship a god who seems to hate you so much? Why do you worship a god who wants to prevent you from doing things that bring you pleasure, who cuts you off from other gods, and who says you're wrong the way you are and that you have to change for him? Jesus sounds abusive. None of my gods would ever do something like that to me. The main goddess I worship is Hel and she's really nice to me, she gives me hugs, and encourages me to engage in my desires and follow my ambitions. There are better gods for you to worship, you don't have to hate yourself or harm yourself.
Why do you worship a god who seems to hate you so much?
And how do you know He hates me, exactly?
Why do you worship a god who wants to prevent you from doing things that bring you pleasure
Such as?
In reality, so far in my life, the main factor who has insisted on barring me from things that bring me real pleasure and joy has been man, and not God. It is they, with their ever-changing standards, double-mindedness, and hypocrisy, which create more obstacles to my happiness than God or nature ever have.
Or does it so happen that, by "pleasure", you mean drunkenness, lasciviousness, arrogance, vanity, ambition, fornication, and the seeking of power? If so, I urge you to reconsider.
who cuts you off from other gods
Religion is comprised fundamentally of truth claims, and it is not merely some sort of "expansion pack" for life with a set of moral rules and aesthetics. If the Christian God is real, then the truth claims of Allah, Shiva, Zeus, and Amaterasu (to name but a few) are necessarily false, and to refrain from their worship is not something to be imposed upon me but rather a rational course of action.
and who says you're wrong the way you are and that you have to change for him?
This is an oversimplification on the Christian theology of sin (funny how, ever so conveniently, any mention of the Imago Dei and the purpose of man in Christianity is completely absent from your sermonette!), most importantly in that it views the Christian life as a practice of behavioural modification and rule-following, and misconstrues Christian ethics as being based upon deontology. In reality, the Christian faith is based upon virtue ethics, and this means (long story short) not that we "change [our behaviour] in order to be accepted by God", but rather that our adoption by God and the indwelling of the Holy Ghost enables us to be transformed fundamentally from the heart (Rom. 12:1-2), and any changes in behaviours, attitudes, thought patterns etc. are the natural result of this transformation.
By the way, it might be interesting for you to know that the concept of man being in some way wrong before the divine is part and parcel of practically every religion which exists, even those (like Buddhism) which do not posit any kind of personal deity. As far as I know, the only religious system which does not fit this description is the thoroughly postmodern American invention of Moralistic Therapeutic Deism, which I (pardon me) consider a pathetic excuse for a religion, which cannot adequately aspire to greatness or virtue, much less humility.
Jesus sounds abusive. None of my gods would ever do something like that to me.
Citation needed, times two.
The main goddess I worship is Hel and she's really nice to me, she gives me hugs, and encourages me to engage in my desires and follow my ambitions.
As in, the sister of Fenrir and Jörmungandr? The most implacable goddess of the Norse pantheon? The living embodiment of Memento Mori? Well...forgive me for having some scepticism about what a soft and huggly pal she is -- your spiritual forefathers would most probably contradict you on this your claim. Methinks also that she would probably...NOT be very "inclusive" of belief systems like mine -- do ask her and her ancient worshippers how they feel about a God who created mankind in His own image, who became incarnate as a poor baby in a backwater district of an empire, as the lowliest of the low, who was subject to the most dishonourable death imaginable for the sake of poor ordinary people like you and me, who defeated death himself, who will one day raise all the dead, and who wants poor ordinary people like you and me to turn to Him so we can become His sons and daughters, and so He can one day reward poor ordinary people like you and me (not great warriors and heroes worthy of Valhalla, for the most part!) with the privilege of living with Him forever without sin in a Kingdom where we will inherit and govern the Earth.
But if what you say about her is true, things are no better for your argument. If you insist that (in effect) all she does for you is affirm you in everything that you do and to indulge and every desire and ambition that enters your heart, then either you are a sinless person with no evil or selfish desires whatsoever (teach us, o master!) or she is an untrustworthy and deceptive patron who sees evil in your heart and still knowingly encourages you to entertain it.
There are better gods for you to worship, you don't have to hate yourself or harm yourself.
It is no question of trying out different gods to see which is better -- "better" in what sense, for that matter? Gods are not clothes that you order from Temu and can swap or abandon as per necessity. YHVH, Yeshua His Christ, and the Holy Ghost, is my God because the Christian religion is true, not because He "serves me best" in some way or another. C. S. Lewis has put it way better than I ever could (this is from Mere Christianity, and I guarantee that you would find it a riveting book):
Of course, I quite agree that the Christian religion is, in the long run, a thing of unspeakable comfort. But it does not begin in comfort; it begins in the dismay I have been describing, and it is no use at all trying to go on to that comfort without first going through that dismay. In religion, as in war and everything else, comfort is the one thing you cannot get by looking for it. If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end: if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth— only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin with and, in the end, despair. Most of us have got over the prewar wishful thinking about international politics. It is time we did the same about religion.
Yes, I know that the Christian life is not easy; but I can assure you that it is good, and that the God of Abraham and Isaac and David and Peter and Paul and Mary and Chrysostom and Irenaeus and Hildegard and Cecelia and Benedict and Bernard and Bach and Wilberforce and Newton and Watts has not only convicted me and cleansed me of sin and unrighteousness, but also used my obedience to Him to bring me forth to places where I would never have imagined myself. I have seen Christ's love in practice in my life, even though I in my frailty sometimes forget His goodness, and project the evils of men upon His face. But there is no better proof of that love than that He really did vouchsafe to become incarnate, to live in strife, to die on Calvary, even for me (and for you BTW!), even when I was living in sin and wickedness (Rom. 5:8), and rise again on the third day, and intercede for me before the throne of Almighty God -- with apologies to Mrs. Hel, she surely cannot outbid that; neither can Allah, nor Shiva, nor Amaterasu, nor Zeus, nor Hestia, nor Baldur, nor Quetzalcoatl.
God bless you,
A.
“veganism” “intermittent fasting” “minimalism” okay so catholic monks have been doing this forever. they also invented Beer and Champagne
Those Greek philosophers you like? You only know about them and their works because a Catholic monk transcribed it by hand
Universities? The whole liberal arts concept? Monk.
so the next time you enjoy any of these things thank the dudes with the weird haircuts
I am God's silliest soldier. But make no mistake. I am His soldier.
The talk I gave tonight was primarily about how babies, as well as young children, experience hyperconsciousness, something that is often considered one of the main reasons why children at these stages are ‘difficult’ to handle.
Kids man, they encompass some of the most phenomenal thought processes and it is all driven by the fact that this whole world is completely new to them. If you want to see abstract ideas constructed in a matter of seconds, talk to a child. Their grasp is unbelievable.
Even if you feel that children whine, cry, and scream too much… in considering how they’re in a world they had no prior concept of, and are subject to an uncontrollable amount of stimuli every waking moment…. I still believe they’re handling it all fairly well.
This conference made me realize how much of a passion I have for destigmatizing childhood behaviors. There’s a sort of ‘Ahh..’ moment that people come to when they see that children actually have reasons for everything they do, that they shouldn’t be viewed as underdeveloped ‘functioning’ adults but should instead be recognized as humans in a separate yet equally important stage of life.
I’ve also been doing some work in researching and writing about children as an oppressed class, I’m finding ways to incorporate my previous sentiments into that.
OP really singles out that stubborn refusal to recognize babies and kids as Human People dealing with extreme new stimuli All The Time, Forever and hits the nail on the head, huh. And yet they’re so right, bc kids are handling that situation with a lot more grace than you might expect!!! Kids would be justified in freaking out way more than they do, in all honesty.
and not to lighten things up too much with a joke but i really feel like anyone who still hasn’t grown out of the propensity to bitch about kids doing xyz “annoying” thing in public without any sense of sympathy for what that kid’s going through should have this tweet tattooed into their eyelids:
u used to be able to put a dvd in your computer. and then u could watch it

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IMAX UPLOADED THE MUMMY TRAILER WITH HALF THE AUDIO CHANNELS MISSING AND CREATED 40 SECONDS OF UNDILUTED COMEDIC PERFECTION
Shit like this is why I could not stop laughing in film editing school. I would have to leave class because I was in tears whenever I had to do sound.
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