the pagan origins of the fourth of july
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the pagan origins of the fourth of july

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AYE AYE CAPTAIN!
AYE AYE CAPTAIN!
CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!
CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!
CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!
Is this gonna be a thing every 4th of July ?
This is the one thing I’m posting about 4th of july
July 4th hits so much harder with an American Pope🇺🇲🇻🇦
The Lancaster News Journal, Pennsylvania, July 4, 1915

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*americans chanting gets louder in the background*
*Eagle noise*
*The roar of Freedom™*
*guns firing blanks*
*battle hymn of the republic intensifies*
*Johnny Comes Marching Home Again Intensifies*
Yankey Doodle thrums in my soul
The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.
And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and
His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.
However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.
That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.
yuh i was there, that's how it happened
Observed today:
Two little girls playing gently with a daddy long legs.
Girl 1: can it die?
Girl 2, in a calm happy even tone: of course. Like all living things it can and must die.
The fact that there are so many non-Americans in the US right now for the World Cup and its Independence Day weekend is bringing me SO much joy. It's like we're having a birthday party sleepover and the whole world is invited.
It’s Fourth of July Eve so make sure to leave some milk and cookies out for Captain America
Guess who finally turned off notifications for this post 😌💕✌️

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hamlet’s “i did love you once” and ophelia’s “indeed, my lord, you did make me believe so” is such an underrated gut punch. it’s betrayal it’s heartbreak it’s vulnerability it’s so over. truly no one is doing it like shakespeare
“so much of hamlet is love in the past tense” HELLO @xx-j4nu5-c4t5-xx
a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this
How about you mind your own damn business
Anything is in character if you put the little guy in enough situations first
love listening to my own playlists. I am so correct and intelligent and inspired

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While American Catholicism has its problems, the HISTORY of American Catholicism has me weeping: it's just a rag-tag group of immigrants who are like "the government doesn't like us, and our neighbors don't like us, but we aren't starving anymore and we aren't under constant threat of violence so we are gonna do it ourselves." And then they created the most organized religious structure in the U.S.A.