Trying to practice more dialectical thinking thinking so I’m still getting up and going to the gym at 5am even though I’m eating like shit right now because 50% is better than 0% or whatever whatever…

A paradox of my mind is that I spend a lot of time ruminating, worrying, fixating even on potential challenges or obstacles but in times when I am faced with genuine adversity I am quick to problem-solve and those issues are swiftly eradicated. I trust that I am deeply connected physically and spiritually to my own will and I just wish that knowing that would make me less anxious but it doesn’t!!! Maybe I view my own anxiety as a training camp and credit my problem solving ability to the fact that I am so anxious. A core belief that must be undone….

Being a professor and receiving end of semester surveys from students is like being forced to go through a long comment section about yourself I actually dread it and no matter how many positive comments I get the negative ones stick out so much I actually think I won’t be reading them this semester lol