I found THE funniest folktale ever (Tatra mountains again) but there is no way I can do it justice in english.
I will try, of course, but I will fail.
the tale is about a man complaining to his wife that he has to work so hard each day and she just stays home and does nothing – so they switch roles, she goes to work instead and leaves all the household chores to him.
of course he fails at each chore but I cannot stress enough how absolutely badly he fucks it all up.
Man and woman (endearingly chłop i baba in the górale dialect) - slight warnings for mentions of animal death and bodily harm, as it usually is in slavic folk tales.
There was a woman. One day her husband complains. The man despairs! Woe, woe, he has to work each day to earn money and she gets to stay home, and that it is unfair. And so the woman agrees and goes to work next day instead and leaves all the household chores for him to do.
She tells him to let the hen and the chicks out but beware the goshawk. He lets them out but does not keep an eye on them: the goshawk steals both the hen and all the chicks.
She tells him to gather hay and grass for the cow to eat and feed her in the barn. He ties the cow to the stake too far from the hay and the cow chokes on her rope trying to get to it.
She tells him to prepare her some food, given she has to work all day away from home: to mill wheat and bake her breakfast, and bring it to her. But he is too caught up in all the chores to be able to do so, and she is left hungry for the entire day.
She told him to bathe their little son Jaś and to churn fresh butter for the week. He puts the child in the bath and starts to churn the butter, but he forgets he had milk in the pot on the stove for his wife’s breakfast and it boils over.
He rushes to get the milk and does not mind the child. Jaś wants to reach the butter and he falls out of the bath: he knocks over the butter churn and put his eye out as he falls.
The man despairs! Woe, woe, no hen and no chicks, no cow and no milk, no butter – and now his son is hurt, too! He does not know what to do and decides to leave the house and get some wood for the stove instead.
He takes his axe and goes to the forest. On his way there, by the lake, he sees a wild duck! He decides to get her so at least they have duck for supper. He throws his axe at the duck… and it falls into the lake. The duck flies away.
The man despairs! Woe, woe, no duck and no axe. He does not know what to do and decides to undress and lie down to rest after such misfortune. He falls asleep on the lake’s bank.
But behind the leeve there was a hunter: he was waiting with his rifle to kill the duck for hours, and the man ruined his plan. And so he steals the man’s clothes as he sleeps to have something to bring home at least.
The man despairs! Woe, woe, no clothes to put on at all, and a long way back home through the main road leading to the town. What shame! He sees a horse-drawn cart with hay and sneaks behind it, and hiding behind it he sneaks back home, naked as God made him.
But he feels shame for he’s fully naked, and so he makes his final mistake: he takes some hay from the cart to hide his most shameful bits…
The woman comes home, tired and hungry. She sees the man sitting by the stove, crying, and she asks him why he did not bring her any food at all. The man despairs! Woe, woe, he cries and cries.
Why are you crying so, the woman asks. I let the hen and the chicks out and the goshawk came and stole them all! Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, we’ll get another hen and we’ll hatch more chicks. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks. I wanted to feed the cow but I tied her to the stake too far from the hay and she choked and now she’s gone! Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, we will get another cow. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks. I drew the bath and churned the butter, but the milk boiled over and the child fell out of the bath and ruined the butter and put his eye out! Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, at least he won’t get drafted. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks. I went to the forest to get some wood and I threw my axe at a duck but the duck flew away and the axe fell into the lake and so I laid down undressed to cry and a hunter hiding by the leeve stole all my clothes. Woe, woe, he cries. Do not despair, she says to him, we have some cloth in the chests, I will sew you new clothes. But the man cries.
Why are you crying still, the woman asks.
I had to take the main road to go home and I was naked as God made me, and so I sneaked behind a cart! Woe, woe, he cries, I had to cover my shame with hay so that people would not see!
Woe, woe, he cries.
The horse ate my dick.
