Mashumaru

i hate viruses so fucking much. literally getting attacked by a fucking shape. a concept. consumes no energy. responds to no stimuli. its only existence is to fuck with you. like fuck offf

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

Does anyone know what to do about the temperature and also the prices

@mashumaru weren’t we just discussing this… and something about a volcano ? 😂

She was trying to look behind the counter where we keep Gold Jewelry and Gucci Purses for pokemon cards

This cat strikes me as both fascinated by the sensation of the rain - the smell, sound, and feel of it - and completely mortified by the fact that it comes with being wet

This cat is like “I am enjoying approximately 75% of this experience but I’m not sure if it’s worth that other 25%”

posts that make you feel like a crumb or perhaps a pea

alec lightwood is one of the best characters from that period in the 2010s where you weren't shit without a big brave woke gay arc because usually those arcs were like oh i'm gay but no one knows woe is me so hard to be gay. but alec is the only person in the whole show who thinks he's straight passing/closeted in any way. his siblings are like hey bud do you think you might be gay maybe because we do. this girl he hates is like is the reason you're so bitchy all the time that you're gay. this vampire he also hates is like hey man i think it's really brave that you're gay #lovewins. the guy he's into is like you're gay and that's FINAL. the woman he's in an arranged marriage with is like i know you're gay but that's okay with me because i'm sexually attracted to my work. even his shitty absentee parents are like we know you're gay you're a disappointment to the family name for reasons separate to you being gay. alec lightwood thinks he's DL shadowhunter trade living out a love simon fantasy meanwhile everyone in his life is conspiring to get him on PreP

the thing about fruit flies is that in the abstract, they live peaceful and irreproachable lives nibbling on overripe fruit and its attending microbes, but practically speaking they awaken some sort of primordial rage within me. Get off my bananas you little fucks