Still a Ginger, Still on Tumblr

Most people know the warning from Costco founder Jim Sinegal to Costco’s previous CEO about raising the price of $1.50 hot dog combo: “I’ll f**king kill you.”

i set my name to Paul Enis in the app because then the stickers they put on my grocery deliveries would say P. ENIS. it was like this for months, but now all the sudden they say PAUL E. instead

so here’s the problem. I once yelled because I saw a centipede and my boyfriend commentated “a friend!” and when I said “no!” he added “and maybe....... a lover..” the problem is. now this has become standard procedure for referring to centipedes. so now I get messages like:

one time in my 20s i wrote a thing for a magazine that was lightly suspicious of bigfoot's existence, and I got like ten emails from people being like, "How can you abandon your rich and long history of Bigfoot Belief?"