victor frankenstein does not have a medical degree

I keep seeing people say that their kink is "undernegotiated" and I think it displays a fundamental misunderstanding of what the word "negotiation" actually means.

If characters are communicating their desires clearly and constantly checking in to see if the other character is still in agreement or whether they've changed their minds, and coming to an agreement, that is a complete and successfull negotiation, regardless of whether it happens verbally or non-verbally.

People are acting as though negotiation doesn't count if it doesn't follow a specific formula laid out in a 300 page bdsm manual, but negotiation was not invented by 300 page bdsm manual in the 1990s. Humans have been negotiating since before language was invented.

And following a manual formula is useless if you don't actually know how to pay attention to your partner and learn how to read them.

I mentioned in another post that all of the text back and forth they have before they meet up is also a form of negotiation. They are quite literally haggling over sex acts like two old biddies at a flea market. Ilya saying, "I don't think is what you want" in the episode 6 blowjob scene is Ilya doing the sex equivalent of asking the guy at the farmer's market if he'll knock an extra $5 off the top if he buys three crates of the strawberries.

That's negotiation! Both parties made their wants and desires clear and 'came' to an agreement.

I think people also have this idea that if people are testing each other's boundaries, that automatically makes the sex dubiously consensual.

But we are talking about two people who literally get off on pushing each other's boundaries, who literally get off on turning sex into a competition and making sex bets that require one party to forefeit something if the bet is lost.

That's their kink! They both fully agreed to participate in their sex-haggling kink together!

Arguing that it's not "real" negotiation or "real" agreement because the sex-haggling kink makes you uncomfortable is just another form of kink shaming.

You don't get to decide for other people that their consensual sex doesn't count as consensual because it's not something you personally would consent to, or because their dynamic isn't something that you personally would feel comfortable with.

They clearly do feel comfortable with their dynamic. They are clearly both having a good time. They clearly understand each other really, really well. They are clearly incredibly sensitive to each other's moment-by-moment wants and needs.

On one hand, selecting for disability and disorder absolutely is eugenics and should not be encouraged.

On the other hand, we already select for some disabilities and disorders in order to protect the kids who would have them! Tay-Sachs is the obvious example; we do not want these children to die horribly so we try to make sure they're not conceived in the first place.

On the other hand, a potential parent selecting for disability is concerning because not all disabilities show up in the womb, and some are acquired. Do we want to encourage people to become parents if they're already wanting to walk away from any difficulty?

On the other hand, there are disabilities and there are disabilities. What if a potential parent is like "listen, ADHD I can handle, but the disability you're talking about is so severe I don't think I could handle it"? Is that eugenics, or recognizing one's own limits?

On the other hand, if we could ask the fetus "here's what you'll deal with; do you want to live?" would it say yes or no? Some quadriplegics love living. Some amputees who lost part of a leg will say they wish they'd died instead. Every disabled person will have a different answer, including two who have near-identical disabilities and life circumstances. Hell, I'm disabled and whether I'm saying "it doesn't bother me" or "I wish I was anyone else" comes down to the day.

On the other hand, does it make a difference if the answer to "why do you want an abortion" is "I don't want a baby" or "I don't want a baby I perceive as defective"? Do we judge one but not the other? Why?

I could go on like this for hours. I don't think OP is right and I also don't think they're wrong. I'm not sure there is a "right" answer. I definitely don't think there's a one-size-fits-all answer. Life is THE most annoying bitch on earth that way sometimes. And insofar as there is an answer, I actually think it lies with creating support, not restricting abortion. Would you still say "abort" if you had an extra $10k a year? What about someone to watch the kiddo on Saturdays so you could have some decompression time? Is there a load-bearing straw we can remove to spare the camel's back, or is the camel simply not capable of hauling this particular shipment of straw?

Then, at a training, a professor told us something that changed my view entirely.

We are not measuring race - we're measuring RACISM (especially in the US)

And that has fundamentally changed my work and my view of race, gender, socioeconomic status, and most other identifiers. There is repeated documented evidence that experiencing racism (or most any form of bigotry) has detrimental health effects. The increased stress, the withheld and subpar care at hospitals and clinics, the fucking history of redlining - all of this had led to repeated reports on how Black people in America live shorter lives, how Black mothers have higher mortality rates, how Black children under perform in schools. None of this is because of their race - its because of the current experiences and historical impacts of racism.

Like 85% of tumblr users hate and loathe embarrassment based comedy with every fiber of their beings, but never in my life have I ever seen an author reassure their audience that the embarrassing scenes are skippable.

Lots of people dislike tragedy but never in my life have I ever seen an author reassure the audience that the death and grieving scenes are skippable.

Stop trying to pass off self-censorship as “accommodation.” Stop trying to pass off pandering as “inclusivity.”