madness of a summer's night

how lucky am i that i get to suffer in this world

Just saw on Quora a guy asking if Poland was more German or Russian and every reply was a Polish guy detailing the ways they wanted to kill him

i may be a pervert but i'm a hopeless romantic at heart

this doesn't have to be an application btw, i am not That Conceited. (i am). this can just be an emoji in the replies. go ham go hog go wild.

oh how I hate being at the office... because what do you mean the Worst Possible Normie Colleague overheard me say to my friend that I will definitely get a puppy for next pride and will be very sad to have to put them down once june ends. and approached to say HOW DARE YOU dogs are living beings and that it's morally reprehensible to do something like that or even joke about it!!!!

HR-wise, is it better to come clean and explain to my Worst Possible Normie Colleague that this was a kink conversation or do I double down as the company's resident puppy killer

GUYS THE PUPPY KILLING IS A REFERENCE TO THIS. HEY

if you ever feel down, remember: your own saliva that's always in your mouth contains antibacterial compounds, enzymes that already begin the process of starch and fat breakdown and digestion, AND a painkilling substance stronger than morphine. it's both a lubricant and a taste-carrier. it protects your teeth, maintains your mouth pH, and aids the body's healing process. you are a marvellous animal. take pride in it!