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Fuck Iâm at a fencing tournament and literally a minute after I reblogged this my dad told me that he talked to the point people and Iâm probably going to win a medal.
I need to follow up to say I reblogged this last night, and this morning I got some of the best news of my life, like, a life dream come true news thing.
FUCK, I though it was just another lucky meme but LISTEN. Since a week ago I was waiting a phone call to confirm me if I got a job or not in my university. I reblogged this yesterdayâs night âjust for fun and because I donât want any bagel to be mad with meâ, and todayâs afternoon, while I was losing my time as always, the professor I was supposed to work with called me and asked me for my personal information to start working with her.
(The best of this post and its reblogs, but with links that work)
Here is a website where you can scroll down to all the different levels of the oceanÂ
Here is a website where you can see the future of the universe
Here is a website where you can press a âmake everything okayâ button, over and over, until things really are okay
Here is a website that you can read if you feel like a burden
Here is a website where you can look at strobe illusions (TW strobe/flashing)
Here is a website where you can cut stuff up (TW blood/sh)
Here and here are websites where you can play with sand
Here is a website where you can draw with macaroni and other fun foods
Here is a website where you can paint someoneâs nails
Here is a website where you can grow a garden with emojis
Here is a website with hundreds of videos of people hugging you (rightfully dubbed âthe nicest place on the internetâ because it really is, yâall, it made me cry)
Here is a website that will take you to other useless websites
Here is a website where you can make a tiny cat play bongo drums (and other instruments!)
Here is a website to help give you gentle reminders <3
Here is a website where you can grow a tiny farm
Here is a website where you can take a bunch of scientific personality tests
Here is a website of calm rain noise
Take a breath. Itâs going to be okay, I promise.
I finished my fic for the @moshangevents #DxD event for #TeamSQH! The prompt was "Modern world, hottest day of the year and the ac/heating system broke" submitted by @abyss-a-void .
A New Type of Stress: Heat Stressed
Rating: General Audiences
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 人渣ĺć´žčŞćçłťçť - 墨éŚéč | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - MòxiÄng TĂłngxiĂš
Relationship: Mobei-jun/Xiang Fei | Shang Qinghua
Characters: Mobei-jun; Xiang Fei | Shang Qinghua
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting; Trust Issues; First Aid; First Relationship; First Kiss; Miscommunication
Story Summary:
"Xiang Fei had been squirrelly about pretty much everything in his private life to this pointâfamily, job, educationâbut the real sticking point for Mobei Jun was how desperately Xiang Fei avoided taking him anywhere near where he lived. Like the other man wanted the ability to disappear altogether as soon as something went wrong, which was exactly what had happened."
When the hottest day of the year hits and the AC fails, Xiang Fei encounters a whole new type of stress: heat stress. What'll kill him first, the rising heat or rising stress of keeping his beloved boyfriend at careful arms length? Fortunately for him, Mobei Jun is fed up with the distance between them.
This is a mock up cover for Beethoven but it's just bakugo telling eri to kill herself by mentallypapaya on A03. This is an absolutely hilarious fic that brings me no small amount of joy to read and makes me laugh/snort out loud alot.
On the back I combined two pictures from the manga for the top detail of Bakugo and Eri then had the summary and 2 of the tags and the word count around the croissant. I also included a qr code sending to the fic and price tag (ÂŁ0.00).
I kept the cover pretty simple with two images from the manga but coloured in this time and a simple font style. I added scribbles in Dynamights colours to reference Eri's drawings during the fic and modified a stamp I had made for some mock covers for the fic writers similaur Aldera Files short fics.
This was designed on Canva and took around an hour.
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These dudes are fucking legit. Â They donât just show up one day in court, either, they actually make friends with the kids and let them know they have a support system and that there are people in the world who care about them and will always have their back. Â And less important, but also cool, is that the few times a couple of them have come into my cafe, theyâve been super friendly and polite and when I told one of the guys that I noticed his Bikers Against Child Abuse patch and wanted him to know how awesome I thought he was because of it, he got kind of shy and blushed and said, âThe kids are the awesome ones, we just let them know theyâre allowed to be brave.â
The source is long, but so, so good. These men and women are available in 36 states, 24 hours a day to stand guard at home, in court, at school, even if the child has a nightmare. Many of them are survivors of childhood abuse as well, and know what itâs like to feel scared and alone.
In court that day, the judge asked the boy, âAre you afraid?â No, the boy said.
Pipes says the judge seemed surprised, and asked, âWhy not?â
The boy glanced at Pipes and the other bikers sitting in the front row, two more standing on each side of the courtroom door, and told the judge, âBecause my friends are scarier than he is.â
Bikers Against Child Abuse was founded in 1995 by a Native American child psychologist whose ride name is Chief, when he came across a young boy who had been subjected to extreme abuse and was too afraid to leave his house. He called the boy to reach out to him, but the only thing that seemed to interest the child was Chiefâs bike. Soon, some 20 bikers went to the boyâs neighborhood and were able to draw him out of his house for the first time in weeks.
Chiefâs thesis was that a child who has been abused by an adult can benefit psychologically from the presence of even more intimidating adults that they know are on their side. âWhen we tell a child they donât have to be afraid, they believe us,â Arizona biker Pipes told azcentral.com. âWhen we tell them we will be there for them, they believe us.â
( Article)
My parents are a part of this organization and they are metal af
They go on runs to protect the child if they feel even the slightest threatened no matter where. If the child needs them to go on vacation with them, they do. Bikers come from across the nation to watch over and take shifts for these kids. And the best part is once youâre adopted into this family as a BACA kid, youâre always one. Even when youâre 40 and the perp gets released from jail, theyâll come meet with you and find your best options for avoiding the person and maintaining the life youâve built for yourself. Once a BACA child, always a BACA child. In Florida, thereâs 100% rate for identifying the perp based on the childâs testimony. Why? Because BACA stands with the child and supports the child so they feel comfortable enough to point out their attacker.
Whatâs better than a badass biker gang being on your side???
NATIVE AMERICAN CHILD PSYCHOLOGIST WHO IS A BIKER AND NAMED HIMSELF CHIEF HELL YES IâM HERE FOR THAT AND BIKERS BEING BAD ASS TO PROTECT KIDS. HELL YEAH.
Hey folks, it talks about this in the article but its not mentioned in this post, BACA is a 501 Š (3) charity that depends in part on donations to help pay for stuff like gas for their bikes. If you want to help, consider donating.Â
Guys? This post changed my life. I saw this post. Forever ago. And thought it was only in america⌠and wished desperately that they could help me. But then I saw it again, during a bad episode, and checked their site. They arenât just in the USA
Theyâre in Canada as well and probably other countries. I met and talked with a native guy who runs the place near me. His name is Shaman. I got in, and Iâm considered a BACA child now. Despite being 17, turning 18 when I talked to them. They spent time with me when my abuser was over, they gave me therapy resources. They give you something called a âlevel 1Ⲡwhere they go to your house with as many bikers as they can, i shit you not a solid 20-40 bikers came from even out of province, and met me. I got to choose my biker name and I got a vest with patches on it and my name on it. They all hugged a Teddybear before giving it to me, and told me if I ever felt the BACA bear was running out of love, to give them a call and theyâd refill it for me, and then I got a ride on one of their bikes. Just a day or so ago I went to an annual party with them and they we ate food one of them cooked and had a lot of laughs.Â
Iâve never felt as loved as I did being a part of the BACA family. They also gave me dog tags with the names, and phone numbers of my 2 workers. So I can call them whenever I feel scared.Â
BACA is an absolutely wonderful group that will do everything in itâs power to help any child whos been abused.Â
And it doesnât end when youâre 18 either. As long as you get in contact/get your level 1 before youâre 18? youâre ALWAYS a BACA kid. Iâm 18 now and they still invite me to parties, ask me if Iâm okay, and are there for me. Theyâre still trying to find me resources for therapy.Â
BACA has changed my fucking life.Â
I hope you all can read this, and reblog it knowing from someone who fucking been with them, that they are absolutely amazing.Â
Had seen this before, but never realised that this is on an international level - thereâs even a contact address close to where I live (in Germany), very cool (though hoping the only use Iâll ever have to make of it is for donations) â¤
Look I hope everybody has lesbian sex and gets their license and moves out and whatever but this post is about one thing only and you guys are diluting its power. No offense I hope that all happens but this post needs to be aimed at one point and it can't move.
This is a common misconception because theyâre such similar environments, but you should be aware that dads are native to Home Depot, while lesbians are actually native to Loweâs. At this point, however, both dads and lesbians have made themselves at home in both Home Depot and Loweâs to the point that trying to separate them back into their original ranges would probably do more harm than good to the delicate ecosystem of large chain hardware stores.
A properly raised and socialized Dad will be perfectly comfortable cohabiting with Lesbians. Its not really âencroaching on anotherâs territoryâ. You wouldnât say that about foxes in a forest that also homes bobcats, would you? No. Itâs just two different species that have both evolved to live in similar/the same environment. As long as they recognize each other as equals, Dads and Lesbians are more than capable of cohabitation.
Now, if you were to release a pack of Lumberjacks into a Lowes or Home Depot, thatâs where chaos will reign. Being adapted to a far harsher and more demanding environment, the Lumberjacks would simply push Dads and Lesbians both out and also consume far more than a sustainable amount of resources. It would be like releasing bears at a country club.
As a former timber-harvester⌠I feel this is potentially accurate in theory. But highly improbable in actuality.
Lumberjacks, like most megafauna species generally require more space than the average hardware store, even a big box store could provide. The misconception is that Lumberjacks are a social species because of how they often work and live together.
This is a matter of necessity, not preference, and a survival technique for thriving under the LogBoss.
A âpackâ of Lumberjacks, if not under the environmental pressure of a LogBoss will naturally disperse until they each have a wide territory.
Lumberjacks rarely fight for territory.
One on one, a Lumberjack could drive out a Dad or Lesbian, however the latter tend to travel in social packs.
Lumberjacks will passively retreat on the presence of large numbers of people. Kind of like Sasquatch.
Getting a âpackâ of Lumberjacks assembled would be hard enough unless they were forced into a Hardware Store by a LogBoss. In that case, they would already be in a heightened and potentially agitated state far above their natural behavior. This artificial scenario can be likened to a circus animal running amok. If it had been in the wild, the incident would not have occurred.
Free-roaming Lumberjacks are the cryptids of the Hardware ecosystem. They are surprisingly quiet and unobtrusive.
Please stop labeling Lumberjacks as dangerous roving social predators. They are intermediate level omnivores and remarkably peaceful unless threatened.
question where does the âart studentâ or âDIYerâ âcrafterâ or âsoap makerâ or âminiaturistâ etc. who has ventured into the store for supplies fall into the ecosystem/what is their impact of said ecosystem?
Most of the above are native to craft and hobby stores (art students, historically, are native to museums, but having been introduced to hobby stores, have found a niche for themselves and thrived), but all can be seen in hardware stores on occasion due to territorial overlap. They are generally low-impact, as they tend to stick to specific small areas and primarily utilize different resources. While a large group of any of them can be disruptive (art students, in particular, are known to travel in packs), in general, they are more likely to have territorial disputes with one another than with the local fauna.Â
A point of clarity -âcrafterâ is a bit misleading; while it conjures a specific image, much like âfishâ or âreptileâ it actually covers a broad array of wildly disparate species, and in general, more descriptive nomenclature is preferred. Fiber artists in particular are a genus to watch out for, particularly in groups. Beware a roving pack of domesticated quilters. They fear nothing, will go anywhere, and due to their social nature, will often seek interaction from other species that thrive best in solitude. They are quite friendly, and will happily adopt members of other species; the concern is that their adoptees do not always wish to be adopted.Â
I can say as a former craft store worker that if you wish to see true fear, look into the eyes of a Dad who must venture into a craft store. Despite the overlap of familiar beings known to him from his native hardware store habitat, Dads are instinctively aware that craft stores are not for them; they contain unfamiliar perils and even the seemingly familiar may have strange variances and unnerving secrets. (âWhy is this airbrush so small? What do you mean nails, why would you⌠WUT!!â)
Only experienced silverbacks or the boldest young Dads dare venture into a craft store for long without his mate or offspring to keep roving Craft Ladies at bay and guide him in this strange ecosystem. If a Dad enters with his mate and is separated from her, he will often scuttle for the seeming familiarity of Woodcrafts, Models, or Paints (the latter not to be confused with Fine Arts, unquestioned territory of art students), but he eyes Scrapbooking and Jewelry with trepidation and will usually venture into those exotic areas only in the company of females of his pack.
Lumberjacks are rarely spotted entering craft stores of their own volition, for while they do not fear it as Dads do, they know it is an environment unsuited for megafauna such as themselves.
Hardware store Lesbians generally adapt more easily to craft stores, although they may enlist another Lesbian of a subspecies more adapted to that environment to guide them until they find their niche. Lesbians have even been known to seek the aid of a Craft Lady, a native fauna that share similarities with Lesbians but are usually smaller and nimbler to suit their chosen habitat. Dads who witness this are often awed by the Lesbiansâ temerity, for although larger, Dads are generally wary of the cunning and dexterous Craft Ladies and may mistake their enthusiastic pack greetings as predatory swarming.
Craft Ladies, secure in their ecological niche, have no fear of interlopers and take the presence of non-native beings in stride, although they may become territorial about scarcer resources.
The only truly invasive species that threaten craft stores are Brides-to-Be, who are mere annoyances individually, but like locusts may descend in hordes and lay waste, leaving swathes of destruction in their wake. Fortunately for the Craft Ladies, Brides-to-Be are seasonal and usually only a threat in the spring and early summer.
Is anybody going to address the newly invasive species of BuJo enthusiasts into the craft store/art supply store environment? Why arenât we talking about the dangerous proliferation of Leuchtturm 1917s and the growing threat of Dotted Moleskins? I had to liberate a Dad from a tangle of washi tape in the art supply store the other day and it wasnât pretty.
The natural habitat of journalers was stationary stores, which have been replaced by office supplies stores, not the same. Journalers invade the craft stores and art supplies stores to get the markers and washi tape and Sakura pens they require for survival.
Another thing to note is all of those habitats must adapt to the seasonal migration of goths. As soon as the faintest hint of spooky can be detected at those stores, goths will arrive in packs. A small pack of goths determined to forage can strip the shelves of a seasonal section bare in 30 minutes.
I for one stand in fascinated trepidation to see how the major habitat destruction wrought by the loss of JoAnn Fabric will impact the greater ecosystem.
SCAdians can often be found in any of these environments, and while they do not necessarily travel in packs outside their native lekking grounds, they are gregarious and are not in fact one species but a colony of cordyceps-symbiotic Crafters, Goths, Dads, Lesbians, Cosplayers, etc. that are directed by the cordyceps inhabiting them to find others to pull into the âSocietyâ. This particular symbiotic fungi, c. recreatoris, causes hosts to behave similarly to Historical Re-enactors, but SCAdians tend to create their own internally consistent timeline of events taking place in a shared world, whereas Re-enactors are a species of Museum animal.
there is no medical component to a trans kid transitioning
if a little trans boy comes out to his parents & is like 4 all youd do for his transition is cut his hair, buy a new wardrobe, & switch pronouns & possibly change names
no one is gonna put a little 4 year old on testosterone OR puberty blockers until theyre actually about to start puberty & then they give them a few years to really decide if they want to start hormones
a trans kid existing isnt âchild abuse.â
child abuse is refusing to let your kid live their lives as they truly are & forcing them to present as a gender they arent
radfems who interact with this post will be blocked & your argument will not be read or even considered. i do not care about the opinion of a transphobe & my original post still stands.
a few years ago a kid in my preschool class transitioned socially and the only consequence was that as soon as her best friend discovered that changing your name is allowed she wanted to change hers to Detective
So stay with me here, but fun ballet fact: part of the reason youâre supposed to start ballet young is so you stretch and hold your joint in certain ways regularly enough that your body grows different. You know how men who do ballet look only sort of muscular but then like lift a whole ass person? Their muscles are trained to lie flat like that for flexibility, they donât bulk up. Girl in your class who always stands in turnout? Itâs likely not just habit, her joints probably sit like that now.
I started ballet when I was six and stopped after three years. I then took a break for three years, and came back and did jazz ballet (which has most of the same body mods but without turnout) and tap for another couple of years. And every physio who works on my body looks at my feet, hips and calves and goes âoh you dancedâ. I was never even flexible enough to do the splits, but you best believe I stand in turnout. I never went en pointe, but Iâm 95% sure tap is the reason my feet have random spasms if I donât take to them with a tennis ball once a week.
When I said I wanted to be a dancer at six years old, adults took that to mean Iâd want certain permanent alterations to my body. Unlike with young trans kids, no one was looking to make sure I fully understood what I was getting into. And unlike with young trans kids, these changes were not reversible when I changed my mind. There wasnât even a way to delay things to buy time (like puberty blockers), it was all or nothing. If I wanted to be a professional dancer, my normal ass joints were a ticking timebomb.
So like ~cis opinion~, but I really donât have a lot of time for people getting feral about trans kids socially transitioning or going on blockers or even (when theyâre old enough for it be relevant) hrt. Me âidentifyingâ as a dancer at six years old was more physically impactful and less informed than if a six year old changed their name and grew their hair, but you donât see any of the adults in my life getting accused of child abuse.
alright, storytime. i grew up as a figure skater. i loved it, i wanted to go to the olympics. i was on track to go to the olympics, but why that never happened is another story. the important thing here is that from the ages of seven to sixteen (with a small break) every morning at five or six am i would wake up and get driven to the ice rink by my mom. if i was lucky i would beg her to get me an iced coffee from mcdonalds. iâd skate for an hour or two, maybe have a lesson, and then go to school.
during the summer it was wild. for all the time i wasnât traveling id get up around seven, get breakfast at the rink, skate for a few hours, do off ice conditioning and stretching, maybe get lunch, and skate for a few more hours.
while i was going through puberty i was constantly sore. my period was irregular, and heavy impact stunted my growth. i loved the ice, i really did, but now that im away from all of that i feel this grief for the person i could have been.
that stretching i did almost every day? it relieved the soreness in the short term, but it plus the impact did something to my body. i was always flexible as a child, like most children are, but i was supposed to keep up that flexibility. i sprained my ankle a couple of times and skated through it, getting one of those quick ice things if it hurt too bad. my friends and i all lamented getting our periods, because it meant our weight would shift. i was always told i had strong thighs in the worst way possible. we waited to eat sugary foods until after comp season, which made halloween the most depressing holiday.
later when i was in my early teens i started complaining to my parents about joint problems. i was told to work out to strengthen the underlying muscle, which maybe would have been good advice. but to me working out meant skating and impact and stretching. when i was fourteen i finally went to physical therapy, where i was told to stop stretching. it wouldnât help, they told me, i was already flexible enough. i just couldnât believe it. i still donât, in some ways, and on my bad days i stretch until i cant feel much of anything. my parents told me to do the alphabet with my ankles to relieve pain. by the time i was thirteen i was afraid of liver damage because of this one girl at the rink who had been taking so much NSAIDs she had to go to the hospital.
all this is to say, my body was irreversably changed by skating. my period was delayed, and so was most of my puberty. I still have joint problems and ankle issues and a fucking eating disorder. i met a friend at a summer camp when i was fifteen who was also a figure skater, and we could just switch clothes whenever we wanted to. perhaps it was coincidence, but we had been molded into the same body type. sheâs still skating, might go to the olympics. i hope she does, she loves it. i loved it, too, and thereâs nothing as freeing as gliding on the ice.
so why the hell did my father tell me changing both my name and my pronouns was too much? that was so much more reversable than the permanent damage skating did to my body. let kids have fun with their names.
this reminded us of being made to do recewalking for the school as a teenager, but with literally zero training beyond âyou have to lock your kneesâ - and now we have permanent knee damage from all that - but again, nobody thinks thatâs as bad as letting kids change their appearance or name/pronouns reversibly
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You know that thing where internet lefty types go out of their way to obstruct each other by demanding moral/ethical perfection while taking no responsibility even though they're on the same side?
Someone left some feedback on the survey that is just a perfect encapsulation of this very thing. I do get smatterings of it here and there, mostly in the form of being offended that I haven't included particular things on checkbox lists (indigenous gender terms, "transsexual", plural they, etc.), and I do consider each one. But this one, whooooof. So I'm going to take this opportunity to use it as a teaching moment. And then vent about it. đż
[ The 2025 Gender Census is open now until 30th August ]
Let's start with the actual feedback:
Disclaimer that I have read the FAQ entry relating to this, as well as the Tumblr post hyperlinked within it.
There are many other ways to be inclusive of non-English terminology, gender identities, and people who speak languages other than English. If the hope is to collect a large amount of data about gender experiences outside of the Western, Eurocentric gender binary, but that data is effectively restricted to Western, Eurocentric cultures, I believe it's not serving the purpose you hope. Having participants constrain their answers to the contexts of "if" they were English speaking, or "if" their families are English speaking is pointless. Because it's not representative of their experiences within the correct context of their own lives.
A solution would be to look for volunteers who possess an understanding of these languages and cultures to moderate seperate versions of the survey. Meaning you don't have to "manage" anyone. Data would be collected, compiled, and analyzed just the same.
Surveys on gender and queer experience are already over-saturated with data on white queer people. If you believe it's not achievable whatsoever to create a survey more inclusive of those who don't speak English, then I believe there should be an *explicit* disclaimer at the start of the survey that explains why there are no plans to make the survey more inclusive nor expand the data pool.
It may be worth considering passing the project on to a team with the ability and know-how to revise the survey in those ways. If it's not accessible to non-English speakers, is having that much data that isn't representive of those who would benefit most from the data analysis, doing good?
I do appreciate the efforts of this survey, and the mission to collect data on vulnerable communities. It however does need revision to include vital data that does in fact come from people in non-English speaking communities.
Oh boy [gn].
So I feel like before I get into the guts of this thing I want to mention some superficial qualities that are consistent with the genre. We've got:
Seems intelligent and reasonable on the surface, but the longer you think about it the more obvious it is that they have no fucking clue what they're talking about and additionally what they're saying is completely unhinged.
Zero sum game. In this case: "Transfer Good Deed A from Cassian to Better People B for increased Moral Goodness C". In reality anyone who wants to do a project like this can start whenever they want without waiting for me to hand over to them, and I don't have to give anything up.
People with privilege (English-speaking people) are a moral vacuum, they either don't need help, or are not worth helping, or both.
Wild extrapolation. Start with sensible established Thing A, and then catapult that into "therefore totally baseless extreme Thing B" and hope no one notices.
Divestment of responsibility. Without checking with me what I want or what I think, they project a goal of moral purity onto me and then give me the onus to do The Objectively Morally Right Thing. No apparent desire to take any action themself.
Speaking out on behalf of. This person gave no indication that they speak any other languages at all in any of their survey response, and they said they lived in a predominantly white Western country.
But these are just some of the things you can use to spot an Absolute Moral Purist. There are more that I haven't written here, and they're the superficial signs, if that makes sense.
(Another thing I hesitantly mention, and this might be just my own assumptions here - I get the feeling that this is a very young and American flavoured phenomenon, which has also spread to other cultures and generations via the internet. đŹ I don't have a source, except for being immersed in it online for many years.)
I got another great one today actually:
Suggest considering replacing the term âotherâ when asking people to enter an option not listed (for example, could say âoption not listed above: [blank]â). Asking people to identify themselves as âotherâ is othering in the most literal sense. For more discussion, see âOther, Please Specify: Queer Methods in Sociologyâ a compilation of essays by queer sociologists (Ed.s DâLane Compton, Tey Meadow, and Kristen Schilt, University of California Press, 2018).
Clear, fairly eloquent, constructive, provides sources. Okay, it has passed my first filter. I'm familiar with the concept they're talking about. The feedback suggests to me that I may have somehow overlooked an "other"-labelled textbox in an important question that might have made this person feel uncomfortable. Let me just go check the survey design to see if that is the case. I search through the whole survey very carefully and eventually find one question that has a checkbox called "other" instead of using something more like the suggested wording:
OH COME ON. Seriously? NO!!!! Are you kidding??? Oh yes, that well-known marginalisation of using a social network that isn't on the radio button list????
~
When you really boil it down, what is going on?
You know that Trap Question, "when did you stop beating your wife?" If you don't beat your wife and never have, there's no way to answer the question, right? It's an unwinnable situation. This ask is one of those. It feels the same way to me when I read the feedback. No matter what I consider saying, it feels awful and kind of yucky to say it.
The only way you can be okay in this situation is to dismantle the question. Which is to say, unpack it and challenge its components to find out if they hold water for you.
With "when did you stop beating your wife?", that's to say "this question assumes that I beat my wife in the first place."
The question the feederbacker is asking here, really, is: "are you really a good person?"
The Absolute Moral Purism model assumes that goodness (and badness) can be observed, agreed on, and decided. It assumes that things can be good (or bad) in and of themselves independent of any context, and that there can be an objectively morally correct thing to do in a situation. It assumes that everything can be (and even should be) placed on a linear good-bad scale and judged. It assumes that a fallible human person can judge that in oneself or in others. In reality, there is no answer to what goodness is or whether someone/something is morally good, and there will never be an answer.
That's what's at the heart of Absolute Moral Purism, mostly - a deep fear (insecurity, anxiety) that actually they are not a good person, and a desperate and eternal trudge up a down-escalator trying to be one. But when it's not possible because of the incorrect assumption that "good" and "bad" can be defined in a fixed way, it sort of oozes out and they start projecting it onto other people.
(Disclaimer: This is not to say that I donât believe itâs possible to be good or do good things, just that thereâs not a right answer to the question of what goodness is, etc. I am trying to do good with the Gender Census, and I do want to be good as a person. I just have to make peace with the idea that the moral qualities of me and the survey will always be in flux and unknowable. Also, I might be wrong about all of this, and it might be true for one person and untrue for another, and I am open to being challenged on things, etc etc.)
So that's what's happening here. Someone has determined that the thing that I'm doing isn't Good Enough, and in order to be Good Enough themself they're trying to fix it and make it morally perfect.
But Absolute Moral Purism can't really handle complexity and it can't think deeply about complex things, so then you get me giving you the longest furious bullet point list you've ever seen [today or maybe this week], addressed to a nameless someone who may never read it!!!!!
It is extremely presumptuous of you to think that I might have the same moral purist goal as you!
It is weird of you to make me responsible for all the things you are making me responsible for!
It is not up to you to decide that people's gendered or non-gendered language preferences in a non-native language are inauthentic or inaccurate!
Swiftly editing this in after posting, because it was one of the first things I thought of when processing this a couple of days ago and therefore I forgot it: a LOT of people who speak English are not white, and a lot of white people don't speak English! Yes, there is a rough correlation, and yes a lot of the non-Western English-dominant cultures are like that because of violent colonialism by Western white people, but you can't just make a sweeping assumption like that!
The survey sample is enormous (and therefore incredibly valuable in itself), very broad in scope (all English speakers internationally), collecting data that to my knowledge no one else is collecting, in a longitudinal way (hard work, lots of long-term commitment, particularly unusual and therefore valuable), from a marginalised group within a marginalised group, for free, and that's not good enough for you? Get out.
It's not good enough for you, and you presume to suggest that I live up to your standard instead of my own? You didn't even have the guts to email me.
"Surveys on gender and queer experience are already over-saturated with data on white queer people. [...] If it's not accessible to non-English speakers, is having that much data that isn't representive of those who would benefit most from the data analysis, doing good?" ...Yes??????? Privilege isn't binary! People with a particular privilege can lack privilege in other ways! Your assumption that marginalised and oppressed people don't need research or support because they also happen to be white is just, what??????????
Talking out of your arse, Clue #1: In science and research, if someone sees some research and they think it can be developed or improved in some way, they use it as a foundation for their own research. That is the accepted, expected and respected route. You putting the responsibility on me and a hypothetical group of better researchers shows you have no experience of any of this.
(It's actually extra ridiculous that you're suggesting otherwise, because I am extremely unqualified and the survey isn't ethics-reviewed or peer-reviewed, so the only way it's going to be able to reach the gold standard of scientific/sociological validity is if some actual scientists grab it and run.)
Talking out of your arse, Clue #2: "It may be worth considering passing the project on to a team with the ability and know-how to revise the survey in those ways." What team????? If someone wanted to do the project instead of me, they could do the project in addition to me. That's another tenet of Science - the more different people running the experiment and observing the results, the better. Results that are replicated by different people are considered more reliable, and a stronger foundation for ongoing and expanding research.
Talking out of your arse, Clue #3: "[The survey needs] revision to include vital data that does in fact come from people in non-English speaking communities." No! It does not! It needs people in those communities to collect, process, analyse and publish their own data in their own languages! This is how the scientific community operates! I can't think of a better way to say this and it's very weird that I have to say it: It is extremely normal for survey-based research to be conducted in one language only. No one who does any research would expect research to encompass and be accessible to the entire world, and it is super weird that you are expecting this of me and my survey.
Talking out of your arse, Clue #4: You think managing volunteers doesn't count as management. Rude, and obviously incorrect if you have any first or second hand experience of voluntary work.
Secondary to that, expecting an entire team of people to do two months of highly skilled work, every year, for potentially decades, for free, is totally unreasonable.
Talking out of your arse, Clue #5: You seem to think that translating the survey into other languages will result in a survey that is approximately the same in all languages, asks approximately the same questions, and the data will be processed in approximately the same way. In reality, each survey will need to be so different due to fundamental linguistic and cultural differences that it will be essentially a whole new survey, and the resulting data processing stuff will also have to be designed from scratch. (At that point, why not simply make it a separate project? And at that point, why am I involved at all?)
Talking out of your arse, Clue #6: You said, "I believe there should be an *explicit* disclaimer at the start of the survey that explains why there are no plans to make the survey more inclusive nor expand the data pool." This is inane and absurd. I feel like I shouldn't need to expand on this, but: No one needs to read or know this before taking the survey. The survey is promoted in English, the survey is written in English, no one is going to load the survey expecting it to be in any other language, and they wouldn't need to know it wasn't ever going to be in any other language in order to take the survey.
And look, I do also want to acknowledge that the feedback person probably means well and is trying their best to be a good person and wasn't at all intending to be hurtful.
Also, they have said some things that are widely established and, I think, important to talk about with regard to research about gender.
It is true that English is a violent, colonialist language spoken by a people who have intentionally and unintentionally wiped out entire other languages. English as a language has a horrific history that is still impacting unimaginable numbers of people today, both actively and, I want to say, residually?
It is true that English has and imbues a power in this world that is disproportionate to its origins, and that people who don't speak it are in many situations disadvantaged.
It is true that gender/language studies and research about non-English/-Western/-Eurocentric languages and cultures is very valuable, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that it is proportionally underresearched compared to Western/English gender stuff. I would love for someone to do something kinda like the Gender Census in more languages. (Again, this would not require me to expand my project or hand it over to someone else for this to happen, and it is weird for someone to imagine that this would be necessary or appropriate.)
But they're using these legitimate points and eloquent leftist vibes to bounce into a bunch of points that are just complete bollocks, to the extent that it made me speechless for two days because I didn't even know where to start. Incredible.
[ The 2025 Gender Census is open now until 30th August ]
I donât even care if itâs macaroni, ramen or those little bowls you stick in the microwave. Please, I need reassurance that most of the population on tumblr WOULDNâT STARVE TO DEATH if their parents couldnât fix them food or they couldnât go out to eat.Â
(@urfriendlywriter | req by @rbsstuff @yourlocalmerchgirl anyone under the appropriate age, please proceed with caution :') hope this helps guys! )
writing smut depends on each person's writing style but i think there's something so gut-wrenchingly beautiful about smut when it's not very graphic and vivid. like., would this turn on a reader more?
"he kissed her, pulling her body closer to him."
or this?
"His lips felt so familiar it hurt her heart. His breathing had become more strained; his muscles tensed. She let herself sink into his embrace as his hands flattened against her spine. He drew her closer."
One may like either the top or the bottom one better, but it totally depends on your writing to make it work. Neither is bad, but the second example is more flattering, talking literally.
express one's sensory feelings, and the readers will automatically know what's happening.
writing, "her walls clenched against him, her breath hitching with his every thrust" is better than writing, "she was about to cum".
here are some vocabulary you can introduce in your writing:
shivering, shuddering, curling up against one's body, squirming, squirting, touching, teasing, taunting, guiding, kneeling, begging, pining, pinching, grinding,
swallowing, panting, sucking in a sharp breath, thrusting, moving gently, gripped, biting, quivering,
nibbling, tugging, pressing, licking, flicking, sucking, panting, gritting, exhaling in short breaths,
wet kisses, brushing soft kisses across their body (yk where), licking, sucking, teasing, tracing, tickling, bucking hips, forcing one on their knees
holding hips, guiding the one on top, moving aimlessly, mindlessly, sounds they make turn insanely beautiful, sinful to listen to
some adjectives to use: desperately, hurriedly, knowingly, teasingly, tauntingly, aimlessly, shamelessly, breathlessly, passionately, delicately, hungrily
he sighed with pleasure
her skin flushed
he shuddered when her body moved against his
he planted kisses along her jawline
her lips turned red, messy, kissed and flushed.
his hands were on his hair, pulling him.
light touches traveled down his back
words were coiled at his throat, coming out as broken sobs, wanting more
he arched his back, his breath quivering
her legs parted, sinking into the other's body, encircling around their waist.
+ mention the position, how they're being moved around---are they face down, kneeling, or standing, or on top or on bottom--it's really helpful to give a clear picture.
+ use lustful talk, slow seduction, teasing touches, erratic breathing, give the readers all while also giving them nothing. make them yearn but DO NOT PROLONG IT.
sources to refer to for more: (will be updated soon!)
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