The best part of getting older is aging out of the demographic that gets killed in horror movies. I am now the age of the kooky local at the gas station who warns the band of college kids not to go to Camp Murderblood

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@bee-whistler
The best part of getting older is aging out of the demographic that gets killed in horror movies. I am now the age of the kooky local at the gas station who warns the band of college kids not to go to Camp Murderblood

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occasionally, you will discover an artist who drew roughly 300 beautiful pictures of your favorite characters over the course of a month and then never touched them again. you must accept this as a gift.
Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy
Damn, that's useful
Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!
tags by @gallusrostromegalus
OH HELL THE FUCK YES
Itās weird to video a cat in the litter box but Binky still does this after using it. He even scratched the floor before using the box. Maybe heāll stop once we put the new mat under, I dunno.
Update: He subsequently dug a hole, pooped, and then strolled away nonchalantly. Had to cover it myself. And Lewie still sometimes goes in to cover it for him.
The worst types of cookbook:
The Ottolenghi - it is vital that you use 1g of this very expensive ingredient. It comes from a 500g bag with a one-week shelf life.
The time machine - 15-minute recipe! First, leave to marinate overnight...
The dishwasher - one-pot recipe! Now decant your ingredients and wipe out your pot. And again. And again. And again.
The optimist - cook the onions until caramelised (2 minutes).
The kindergarten teacher - get one nommable little tree of broccoli and bosh that into boiling water. Delish!
The brand names only - ingredients: Ritz crackers, Philadelphia cheese, Cool Whip, orange Jell-o...
The 1950s palate - use one (1) clove of garlic and a small pinch of chili flakes (omit if preferred).
The why bother with a cookbook - to make beans on toast, gently heat a tin of beans and put on top of freshly buttered toast.
#the overachiever: make this very time consuming ingredient from scratch even though it'll end up tasting worse than store bought
Amen to this @akasanata. "Now make your puff pastry from scratch". How about noā¤ļø
The Ralph and Kacoos - Turns out it isnāt any of their recipes, itās basically one of those ācommunity collectionā cookbooks you sometimes get from a church group where they have recipes for the bad potato salad (raisins), instructions like āsift brown sugarā and ingredients like oleo and lard.

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et tu brute?
Baby sphinx trying to be like mama and waylaying travelers, but all its riddles are completely non-sensical like the ones a 1st grader would tell
i do think itās funny when youāve been into a thing long enough that youāve done all the serious analysis you can do so now youāre mostly just thinking up looney tunes scenarios to put the characters in
looney tunes scenarios which are most importantly still impeccably in-character because of all the aforementioned serious analysis
Soup
Hot hot soup
fuck if itās this easy why do they close the goddamn road for like five months shit
all outta soub :(
I work for the road crew in the summer. Crack sealing (the process you see above) is fairly quick and simple. (Though holding a hose that pumps literal tons of 350F tar into the road in the middle of the summer is NOT easy)
I think what a lot of people underestimate is just how much road there is in your city. And just how many directions the crew gets pulled.
For our city of around 50k people there are 8 of us.
Also, crack sealing is a wholly temporary measure, meant to slow the break-up of the roads, itās not a permanent fix.
Roads tend to get closed for months on end because we have to tear the whole thing up, then, depending on the class of road, we either have to hammer-drill into concrete to lay rebar and the pour concrete, or we can get straight to paving. If itās a road requiring concrete weāre required to wait at least 24 hours for it to set.
So after 2 days weāre finally able to pave. But the city allocates one (two if weāre lucky) 5 ton truck to transport material.
A relatively short paving job requires at a minimum of 60 tons. So thatās 12 trips to the asphalt factory and back. Each ton is around $80.
TL;DR
Thereās a lot of road, not many of us, and soup is expensive.
Leave the soup men alone.
Leave the soup men alone, and go vote for people who will pay for more soup and more soup people
also be careful in workzones and obey speed signs and other directions. Soup men deserve respect and deserve to go home safe ;o;

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Todayās advice from your Goth Auntie
-Stretch your hands, drink some water, take your meds.
-Sunscreen. Use it, please.
-The Lurking Horror now wants ālots and lotsā of sparklers, and āwill be soooo careful!ā
š¤ Auntie Jilli
falling asleep during the day: slipping away on a clouds so easy
falling asleep at night: I heard an ant gasp downstairs
Itās weird to video a cat in the litter box but Binky still does this after using it. He even scratched the floor before using the box. Maybe heāll stop once we put the new mat under, I dunno.
O frabjous day!
I called⦠and made⦠an appointment!
And then called⦠and asked⦠a QUESTION!
So I just simultaneously did, and possibly didn't lose my job today :)
Very much did in the sense that I literally do not know where my job is at the moment. But, for the time being I haven't been let go because nobody else including the store owner knows where it is either.
So, I don't wanna risk doxxing myself by posting pictures but goddamn am I tempted because this is not a believable event. This is a cartoon problem. For looneytoons.
But yeah, so, I work(ed?) at a kiosk selling boba tea, right? Freestanding kiosk in the mall with full water and electrical hookups and multiple fridges and sinks and a mini kitchen and the works. Fully functional tea shop. Very important to note that it was there last night, The work chat was discussing another issue last night at closing time. I'll get back to this.
It's been showing signs of being on the way out with how business is being handled lately and I've been considering other options, which is probably why I'm not as torn up about this as I should be, but maybe it just hasn't set in yet, but that's not the point. The point is there's been a lot of shit breaking and not being replaced and nobody mentioning anything about it until I walk into work in the morning and have to figure out why shit like the fucking cash register isn't there today. So I'm kinda used to having to ask questions about big things that nobody bothered to update me on. I was out for two weeks recovering from a surgery, so I came to work this morning assuming there'd be some kind of bullshit, yeah?
So, the question I had to ask the chat this morning was:
Not a text I ever thought I'd have to send in sincerity, but there it is. Because what I found instead was a fenced off patch of discolored tiles and a few holes in the floor where my entire place of employment used to be.
And the answer? Nobody knows! It was there last night when the mall closed, and every single trace of the structure and all its contents including drink making supplies and our safe and cashbox was gone when it opened again. And when I say nobody knows, I mean everyone from last night's closers to the actual (former?) owner of the store jad no fucking clue about this until getting that text from me this morning. For once I am actually the first to know. š.
So. I guess I didn't so much lose my job as had it stolen. Not by AI, but good old fashioned hands-on human beings picking it up and carrying it away somehow. All mall security would tell me was that they were instructed not to tell me anything and have us contact our management. Who also don't know anything. And later on I came across some construction workers around the gravesite of the kiosk discussing filling in the holes, asked them about it, and was told that they "weren't at liberty to say".
So, not only is my job gone in the most literal physical sense of the word, but it was taken in some kind of super secret kiosk extraction in the dead of night without any warning or witnesses and nobody is allowed to speak of it. The store owner said she was gonna figure it out 10 hours ago and still no word back.
I don't know what else to say aside from I've been laughing all day and I'm gonna have a hell of a time explaining Schrodinger's Unemployment to the benefits office.
Update that is not an update because I'm basically certain this isn't what actually happened:
My mother in law thinks the FBI took it.
Not any of the other stores around the state. Just the one little kiosk.
Why? Because she loves a conspiracy and is just a little bit extra.
Also because she was around for the massive crackdown on Yakuza-owned businesses in Waikiki (in her homestate) that did actually involve the FBI seizing stores (no confirmation of making kiosks cleanly disappear in the middle of the night though).
Still no word from my job on what's actually going on, but the most likely theory so far is that maybe the kiosk was on lease and got repossessed? The mystery continues
(also shout out to the person who proposed Carmen Sandiego)
ACTUAL (partial) UPDATE:
According to the owner, based on what she's been able to find out, the kiosk was not removed legally and they're starting a potentially long process of legal action. I hope she gets to sue the shit out of whoever did it but for now at least I know for sure I'm unemployed.
Really hoping for more details in terms of who/why/how, so I'll keep updating if I learn anything.
For now the summary is: An unnamed entity that is most likely mall management (on account of mall security cooperating with them) stole an entire kiosk and all the contents including money and machinery with barely a trace in the middle of the night grinch-style, with zero warning or explanation, and ensured the silence of both security and the construction crew, in an action that was definitely preplanned and illegal, and as far as I know nobody knows its whereabouts.
So now I'm officially out of a job. Because my workplace was literally stolen in the night.
Actually fuck it let's share some photos cause I wouldn't be inclined to believe this myself. It's not like anyone can stalk me at my job now and I'm not gonna have to see any coworkers that might find my tumblr.
Enjoy the unintentionally funniest text I've ever sent in my life
Aaand a close-up:
The last remains of a once Very Much Solid And Immobile Workplace
HEY HI HELLO THIS ONE'S MY FAVORITE
via @kagaminilen
[cut to a kiosk on legs, sipping a boba, while wandering into the nearest forest on chicken legs]
Here you go @a-bit-too-dyscrasic

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Notes on the Bandcamp post:
Someone pointed out that article's from 2023, and that's my mistake! Here is one that describes better where we are today.
Bandcamp engineering layoffs renew fears over Songtradr ownership, artist support and the future of direct-to-fan music.
So.
Downloads are still available as of time of writing. If you have music you want to keep, maybe go download it.
If your favorites sell music directly, go buy it there.
Do NOT go yell at musicians for being on Bandcamp. Where, one day after this broke, do you expect them to go? Where else can we get DRM-free files?
If the new owners keep Bandcamp Friday and DRM-free downloads, I will keep buying music from them.
Think of it this way: who are we trying to help? Musicians, right?
It won't help musicians to boycott Bandcamp and I have not (as of this writing) seen a call for it that's actually from a musician.
It really won't help musicians to yell at them about being on Bandcamp.
Next Bandcamp Friday I'm going to go buy albums I'd miss if they disappeared.
(And no. I am not a fan of the new ownership. I don't have a better alternative either.)