Good Omens 3, complaining about Good Omens in general.
I finally got around to rewatching all of Good Omens from Episode 1 to 12 in preparation for the movie which I'm still pissed about. My first point is that after Neil Gaiman's exposure as being on the same level as JK Rowling in being the worst famous authors ever, Prime Video decided to brutalize the final season into an hour and a half special with a subpar conclusion to the story. They should have just kicked Neil off the production team and made a six episode final season entirely without him. Or honestly, since companies are all evil anyway, why didn't they just ignore it an continue as scheduled?
Well the movie turned out to be ultimate mediocrity anyway. First off, Maggie and Nina were completely absent, which further works to disconnect this story from everything else.
Frankly, each season feels eerily isolated for no good reason. Only beings of a higher position carried over from season 1, leaving Anathema, Newton, The Them, and Witchfinder Shadwell and Madame Tracy behind in the dust, when in the book those characters were the ones that the plot actually revolved around. You'd be surprised how little Aziraphale and Crowley matter in the book. I was thoroughly disappointed when I read it.
But anyway, season two leads with two new characters, Nina and Maggie, who are both unoriginally named after the actors that portray them, who were carried over from the chattering order of nuns from the prologue of season 1. I love Nina and Maggie, but where the other characters? None of it feels connected without the full cast or at least more of the original cast being present, rather than these two random side character actors.
The other missing thing is honestly the Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter. Sure, destroying the further prophecies that are delivered to Anathema Device at the end of the original stories works as a thematic end to a stand alone story, but then they decided to adapt Neil Gaiman's unpublished sequel. They should've planned for the possibility of a follow-up, especially if it was a series based off the works of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. Weren't they held with great praise?
Season two ended up being a self-contained story essentially with zero connection to season one, save for only the Angels, Beelzebub and the Metatron. They made this the groundwork for the "Epic" conclusion where Jesus vanishes and the Metatron is killed and the book of life is stolen. Why wasn't the book of life made more important in season two? One mention isn't good enough for settup. Then Jesus, who is the other main driving conflict in the movie, gets completely ignored by everyone and then when Aziraphale and Crowley finally find him close to the end but close enough to the end of the movie, they suddenly don't give a shit and leave him. It's like he didn't even need to be in the movie for the story to work. It was all so rushed and barely thought through.
And Michael was a shitty final antagonist. A twist villain is not something we needed from this franchise. Then we meet Satan and God, who for some reason has been recast after being mostly forgotten about in season two. And is god in this universe a feminine being, nonbinary or fluid? It's unclear.
Anyway everything was rushed and had zero time to be fleshed out, like the other members of the store association from season 2. Simple additions to make the world feel more real that would've been fixed by having filler. Filler, a dying art in the world of television. Good Omens' worst flaw is being six hour-long episodes. I would've gladly taken twelve half-hour episodes for each season.
I cannot believe that after all those years Neil never went back to the plotted out sequel and wrote it. Wasn't that his and Terry Pratchett's thing? Even after Pratchett's death, there was nothing. I would've at least started after the first season of the show released so that season two would actually have source material to go off of, rather than a bullet point list of barely fleshed out bullshit.
The following is how I would've done this dumpster fire of a show
I would've not made Anathema burn the further prophecies of Agnes Nutter, but maybe deliver them to Aziraphale at his bookshop, or just keep them. They would be useful for the plot of the second book and season. I think the other store owners of Whickber Street could've been introduced, some with established relationships to Aziraphale in season one to further detail his attachment to Earth rather than just his bookshop and the one place to spend time in beside Heaven.
In the twelve or more episodes (each being a half hour and not a second longer) of season 2, I would keep Maggie and Nina because I do love them, but also Anathema Device, as well as Shadwell and Madame Tracy, who I think it would be humorous if she actually had the ability to commune with the dead but didn't know and thought she was just a scam artist. Newton Pulsifer is optional, but he would make a nice addition as well. I think the only other main characters that don't need to be in season two are Adam the Antichrist and the Them. Adam is more or less just a random boy, although he still has his hellhound, so maybe he does serve a purpose. i would shelve him for the third season which, like the movie would be much more involved with heaven and hell.
If the plot with Gabriel and Beelzebub is really necessary, though I'm not really a fan of it, we'll go with that. So Anathema reads a prediction at the end of season 1 and book 1 that says something vaguely about a power vacuum and a naked man. There should just be more content of Anathema, Newton, Shadwell and Tracey being relevant in the story and helping get everything to go the way it's supposed to. I think it would make sense if Madame Tracy had some way of connecting with Gabriel's lost self through her reading.
Oh, and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They haven't just been destroyed, have they? Obviously Death wasn't, but Famine, War and Pollution aren't just gonna go away. If any of them had to go, Pollution could go since in the first book/season a joke is made about Pestilence being retired. Pestilence could come out of retirement. Should they be involved in the plot heavily? Maybe they don't need to be, but it would be nice to connect with the previous season/book. They could come back with more importance in book/season 3.
Shax as a character is kind of pointless, and I think she could be replaced and just have beelzebub take on a more central role in the story since she is the one in love with Gabriel. By the end of the season/book, the shopkeepers of Whickber Street should be even more developed, and Crowley and Aziraphale should have had their falling out, and Beelzebub and Gabriel should have escaped to Alpha Centuri, or better yet, the center of the universe where the eternal flame sits if I want them to have any relevance in season/book 3.
In the third book/season, Shadwell and Newton Pulsifer I don't think needs to be central to the plot. They should still be present, but maybe they just appear on the side of Anathema and Madame Tracy. Anathema definitely needs to be. Madame Tracy is optional. Her purpose in the season/book could be less than in season/book 2. Nina and Maggie should be relevant if it has to be any of the Whickber Street shopkeepers. I don't understand why they weren't in the movie. Their relationship matters. Crowley and Muriel would have an interesting dynamic if the story of book/season 3 started a little earlier than right before Aziraphale's plan to return Jesus to Earth went through.
We need to bring back the Hellhound and the Horsemen of the Apocalypse. Perhaps the horsemen can be the ones orchestrating the conspiracy. It would work, actually. Death can pull a fast one on the metatron and steal the book of life (which should be at least seen in book/season 2 for more settup) which he can use to bring back any of the horsemen that were destroyed in season/book 1. They will have the desire to reattempt armageddon and search for the hellhound. Then Jesus will escape to Earth and Anathema will know everything because the further prophecies of agnes nutter will have all the answers, she just needs to look.
During this season (which is again 12 or more episodes, each being half an hour), Nina and Maggie should complete their romance arc after having two full seasons of development and getting to know each other. The Horsemen will target Jesus and try to pair him with the hellhound so that he can cause armageddon to begin (Adam is no longer the antichrist so they need someone of equal significance).
I really like Uriel and I wish she hadn't been killed. I would rather it be Michael because she sucks. And the way the world falls apart as the book of life's pages felt so lazy and dumb like yeah they're just falling out like puzzle pieces. Even the scene where they watch it happen on the globe in heaven just has zero urgency in it when the world is literally ending. This won't happen. A lot of things will be deciphered by Anathema and Aziraphale until the horsemen destroy Agnes Nutter's final predictions to prevent them from knowing how to win. The almost end of the world will have more meteors and chaos like season/book 1.
Nina and Maggie will have their romantic "We're about to die so fuck it" kiss, and Jesus will decide to sacrifice himself by jumping into the eternal flame with help from Beelzebub and Gabriel. That way the horsemen will not be able to successfully bring about the end of everything. Crowley and Aziraphale will have had their reconnection after Aziraphale wins back the bentley because I think that was a really well done part, one of the only good parts of the movie, it feels right. Crowley and Aziraphale will admit their love for each other as well.
I think that having God appear in a human form at all is unneeded. God isn't human, and doesn't need a material form and clothes. I think God will remain a holy light and voice (voice provided by Frances McDormand) when it appears before Aziraphale and Crowley at the end of the show/book. Satan also should not have a random human form and should appear more monstrous. I don't like the choice of actor that they had in the movie. Also, asking to recreate the entire universe where everyone is human and there is no heaven and hell but somehow all the relevant characters (excluding the ones that only appeared in previous seasons because fuck the original cast I guess) know each other in some way and these two randoms with the faces and names of Crowley and Aziraphale have a completely aside romance that I don't give a flying fuck about because they aren't the actual Aziraphale and Crowley is dumb.
God will reveal at the end of the final book/season that everything has always gone according to its plan because it is all powerful. Every almost end of the world was when God changed its mind. Crowley will be given back his angelic status but neither he nor Aziraphale will be required to return to Heaven. Madame Tracy (if she is relevant in this season/book) will be stripped of her ability to commune with the afterlife because God changes its mind. The Hellhound is returned to hell and Crowley suggests that God actually begin to populate other solar systems and galaxies throughout the universe so that it isn't as empty. This is the first suggestion that Crowley makes since the prologue of season/book 2 which brings his character full circle as God decides to do what he suggested.
I fully believe this would be a better story than what we got and I cannot be convinced otherwise.
