#please please please

honestly keep these dreams comin cus it always makes me feel special, i wanna be the main character, it-girl, everything~

-also had a naughty dream abt me n future man making porn together PLEASE MAKE THIS A REALITY I BEG!!!

Abby Anderson. You were enthralled with her. Completely blind. Devoted. Absolutely and utterly in love with her.

Who could blame you? She was everything. Everything you’ve ever wanted.

But she loved you too right? She said she did. And you believed her, you oh so believed her. Why wouldn’t you? She wouldn’t lie to you. Would she? No she wouldn’t. Right?

Yesterday was nothing short of perfect. After months or longing glances and lingering touches you both had finally cracked. Abby had kissed you, touched you, praised you. Loved you. It was even better than you could’ve imagined.

You woke up tangled up with her under the messy sheets, her blonde plait gone, revealing the silky smooth hair that cascaded down her back. You’d counted the freckles on her face and traced the scars on her arm. She was impeccable. She was otherworldly as some would say. And she was yours now.

Right?

When Abby woke up she’d kissed your forehead and begrudgingly got up before slipping away for her inevitable patrol. She’d promised she’d see you later. Said she couldn’t wait. You believed her. You always believed her.

When you spotted her later that same afternoon you were ecstatic. You couldn’t wait to speak to her. Halfway through your trek towards her you realized something was wrong.

She was laughing, her hand lingering one someone’s arm. She was leaning in too close. Giddy.

You stopped mid step. Suddenly less excited. Your traitorous eyes moved towards the person she was leaning on. He was strong, enticing apparently quite funny.

Oh.

It was Owen.

Of course,

You stood there, frozen in place. Maybe you were misunderstanding. Sure Owen and Abby dated but that was ages ago. And Owen had Mel now, and Abby you. Right?

I mean you hadn’t talked to Abby yet. But last night must’ve meant something to her too. Surely it wasn’t only you. Couldn’t be.

Swallowing the rising lump in your throat and ignoring the ache in your chest you walked up to Abby.

Softly pressing your fingers on her arm as a smile broke out on your face.

“Hey Abs”

All soft. Sweet. The tone you only used with her. Cause she deserved it, she deserved all the sweetness in the world. Your golden girl.

“Oh.. hey.”

She replied, her tone almost flat.

Ignoring the growing anxiety you continued.

“So um, I actually wanted to talk to you about something. Alone.”

You ignored the way her face twisted for a second. The way she pulled away from your touch. She’d masked it quickly enough. You pretended not to see. What you don’t know can’t hurt you.

She hummed softly before she spoke

“Oh sorry Owen actually needed me for something, but I’ll find you later.. promise.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. The metallic taste of blood flooding your mouth as you nodded.

It’s fine. It was fine. You’d tell her later. You’d tell her everything. You’d finally confess properly. Tell her how much you loved her. How you’d always loved her.

But later never came. Abby never went to find you. Like they say, nothing good lasts forever.

And when you passed by her room, wondering whether to knock. Attempt to speak to her, you heard her lovesick giggles and Owen’s voice.

You froze. Begging yourself to move. To get away. To forget this ever happened. To save yourself the humiliation and embarrassment. To save yourself the hurt. Maybe it wasn’t Abby’s voice. Maybe you were tripping. Delusional. But your legs wouldn’t cooperate and the longer you stood there the clearer it became that it in fact was Abby’s voice. Her laugh. Her way of speaking. And Owen’s. Owen’s disgusting voice. Hearing their laughter felt like a humiliation ritual.

Who knew what they were doing.

You felt disgusted by yourself. You’d allowed yourself to blur the lines and indulge in your fantasy. Your illusion. You felt humiliated. Hurt. Offended.

Everything had meant so much to you. You loved her. She was the only person you’d ever loved. How come it meant nothing to her.

You don’t know how long you stood there, but apparently long enough for Manny to come back from his own escapades.

“What are you doing?”

He’d asked, voice filled with disgust, or pity. You couldn’t tell.

You didn’t reply. Simply walked away. Biting your lip as tears escaped you. Turns out, she lied. She lied like everyone. How could she ever love someone like you?

Players only love you when they’re playing.