Dreams of a Shark

It is really not all that hard to get away with murder. A basic amount of foresight and prep will get rid of enough evidence that the police either won't find the killer or will be unable to make the charge stick.

Despite this, most murders do get solved, because someone who decides that murder is the solution to their problems is probably not the kind of person to be levelheaded and careful enough to avoid getting caught.

I think something very similar is true of sockpuppet accounts. It's not that hard to make a convincing sockpuppet. However, people almost always make sockpuppets as a way of defending their egos, of making it look like they have more support than they actually do. And this passionate defense of someone the sockpuppet ostensibly doesn't know and has no reason to care about is a dead giveaway. So if you want to validate a sockpuppet you have to lose an argument to it. You have to get owned. Once it makes you look like an idiot, basically no one will ever suspect it again.

now I know that there's no way for me to respond to this without a bunch of fans of the modern adaptations ruining my inbox for the next week, but there's no evidence of Waluigi - or indeed Luigi - in any of the contemporary versions of the Mario-Wario sagas. The name "Wario" itself is a later invention, held to be a pun on warui that likely emerged after the adoption of Japanese scripts in the Koopa States.

The conflict between Mario and his "boyhood rival" was one over political influence on his home island and Mario's long absences - in particular his trip to Sarasaland. While later Sarasan sources would heavily reference Mario's brother, he is absent from both the preceding narrative and the unrest in Mario's homeland. The historical consensus is that the Sarasaland journey was one of Mario's earliest wanderings, with his brother attempting to manage affairs in his absence and proving unfit. The invention of a separate "Wario" character and its development into an explicit coup d'etat were later poetic creations, as is distancing of the "Wario" figure from the later depictions of Mario's brother as the more cowardly and reserved "Luigi".

(As an aside: "Mario Land" is a mistranslation. The original Mushroomer and Sarasan chronicles are better translated as "the land of Mario", without connotations of ownership. The modern scholastic consensus is that it refers to Yoshi's Island, where Mario and his brother spent their youth and later established a small manor, not, as commonly depicted, a "Mario Castle". The emphasis on Mario as king of "Mario Land" was a mostly successful political maneuver by the Yoshis to retain coequal status with the Mushroom Kingdom heartlands in the face of 18th-century expansionist pan-Mushroomism.)

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

buddhist bad driver: stop getting mad you are too attached to material things (your car that I rear ended)

jewish bad driver: according to this highly controversial interpretation of the melachot which five separate rabbis have told me is completely stupid, driving during Shabbat is fine as long as you ask your non jewish neighbor to turn the car on because then the engine is already on. However, using turn signals is prohibited and you can't turn headlights on or off which is why I just leave my high-beams on at all times

muslim bad driver: muslims are never required to yield the right of way to non muslims

neopagan bad driver: if we follow the teachings of the Great Earth Mother, traffic is like a flowing river. Turbulence and disorder are part of nature. "Lanes" are a product of a Christian society obsessed with rigid status and social control. You gotta just go with the flow, man. (jerks wheel and sends 2004 Subaru Outback with COEXIST bumper sticker and Etsy Dreamcatcher hanging from the rear view mirror careening across 3 lanes of traffic to make an exit)

satanist bad driver: much as great Lucifer defied god's oppressive vision of rigid order and obedience, I am treating this "stop" sign as a suggestion

pastafarian bad driver: this interchange is a sacred place. the convoluted mess of twisted, tangled ramps reflects the form of His divine noodley appendages. When I enter it I must meditate on the interchange and lose all awareness of surrounding cars.

amish bad driver: I don't need to pay attention to the road, my horses know the way home (is currently in the oncoming lane and has just run over a toddler because a leaf fell 200 yards away and spooked the horses)