you can lead a bridge to fire but you can't make it burn
but your horse don't dance and if it don't dance then it's no gift horse of mine
by fall out boy
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"


Kiana Khansmith
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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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roma★

The Bright Sessions
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art blog(derogatory)

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tumblr dot com
The Stonewall Inn
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The Bowery Presents
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noise dept.

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@dreaming-shark
you can lead a bridge to fire but you can't make it burn
but your horse don't dance and if it don't dance then it's no gift horse of mine
by fall out boy

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At this point I've seen like three unconnected pieces of American media set in a superficially idyllic small town with a big fuckoff lake that functions as a liminal boundary between the Known and the Unknown and in which a major character attempts suicide by drowning, and now I'm wondering if the Liminal Death Lake is just a thing American small towns have.
This does not even begin to cover the weirdness of cathode ray televisions.
They are literally particle accelerators that you point at your face.
And for eighty years, Americans' favorite thing to do was turn them on and stare at them for hours.
If you overcharge them, they emit gamma radiation.
Servicing them is like disarming a bomb -- their capacitors are enormous and are usually charged to hundreds or thousands of volts, and most of them have no bleed system that drains that charge, meaning that they can still be dangerous months or years after the last time they were powered up. A discharge can not only electrocute you, it can cause tools to melt or explode.
A black-and-white cathode ray TV driven by an unmodulated analog signal is theoretically capable of resolution that would require a microscope to perceive.
Old school CRT monitors had the same issues.
Back when, I worked at a small whitebox pc manufacturer. One day, a service tech brought back an older, gigantic (30 inch or so) AutoCAD monitor from a service call. The customer said "Made me feel nauseous"
So, we put it on the bench and fired it up. You immediately felt the hair on your body stand up, and my co worker put his hand up close to turn the power off, and his hand and forearm started spasming - I yanked the power cord from the wall as the tingle I was feeling began to feel hot.
No idea what was wrong with the thing, but it was kicking out some serious electro magnetic radiation.
Remembering the almost imperceptible high pitched buzzing that let you know the tv was still on even when nothing was on the screen. Also putting your forearm near the screen and watching the hairs stand up
The little crackle if you touched the screen to wipe it...
Omg no one's even talking about the smell of the screen
This is both horrifying to read and nostalgic
I liked to turn the back of my hand to the screen, right after it was turned off, and pet the static with the little hairs on the backs of my fingers. It felt soft and fluffy.
one of the reasons CRTs are such a hotbed of glitch videography is that unlike modern monitors that block irregular signals, CRTs don't have an opinion about the signal you feed into them. they will display anything. and if you've ever done glitch work with a video modulator or such, you know what it's like negotiating with a living beast. the images you can get are often unpredictable and impossible to reproduce even with the same settings on your hardware, because it's just electricity. there is something magical and strange about the cathode ray tube and when you play with them enough you really remember why The Ring fucked people up so bad. samara climbing out of an HD flat screen is a laughable image; but her climbing out of an old school boob tube? yeah man, i believe it. there's fucking demons in that thing
SEPARATE CHURCH (AO3) AND STATE (TRADPUB)
apparently the director of the no fucking til marriage movie is like "it's not the sex purge movie, that's not what it's about" but my guy I'm sorry you made the sex purge movie. that's what you did. like describe it however you want but conceptually the film is about a nation wide sex fest on the one day a year fucking is permitted by the state, that's a sex purge. the film can be about a wholesome romance happening during the sex purge but it is definitely the sex purge.
Wait ok so vanity fair just came out with an article describing the rules of the sex purge & apparently it's enforced bc the us government literally chipped its citizens like dogs with biomoniters that glow green when you're allowed to fuck. what in the conservative vanilla hell 😂😂😂
also apparently queer people in this universe just said "no thanks" when it came to this ban which is kind of based actually:

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original quote
i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it
one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard
good morning
WTF this is masterful, 10/10.
Other people have said this in notes, but the Bulwer-Lytton contest involves writing the most absurd opener you can think of and submitting it to the contest. It's not a judgment like the Razzies or the bad sex in books award or something; it's a game. Diana Murtaugh of Baltimore is to be congratulated for this win.
tumblr is great and all but ya’ll are missing the woman in one of my cat fb groups that has birthed her own tier 1 meme

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always some new bullshit in the ocean
Why is it always orcas or dolphins
Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once
worry not ☝️ they're doing coke
Who would win
Miss Piggy
Angel from Buffy
It seems like we're just feeding characters to Miss Piggy at this point
enrichment
Well maybe start comparing her with characters who are on her level!
parenting commitment level 3000
apparently a requirement for working at poison control is a talent for stand-up comedy
i was so naive in thinking that spirk shippers were exaggerating. what the fuck is wrong with these two.
SPOCK HAS A MATING CYCLE?????
Welcome!
I’ve been obsessed with this tiktok for days now
Person: "Hello sir." he pets the frog with one finger.
Person: "Have a good day. Actually wait a minute. You missed a bug, but I got you home boy. Hold on." he picks a bug up and throws it next to the frog.
Frog: turns around and eats the bug.
Person: "OHHHHH-" sings high pitched and angelic like he witnessed a miracle.

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- Sun Wukong
i think about “ham and bean” on the daily