Dreams of a Shark

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

@bongzillababe in some places this is absolutely an invasive species but in this case it's actually a keystone species and ecosystem engineer! Here we can see it built its nest in the disturbed 'parking lot' habitat. These big species only have one clutch a year, between June and September, and build a new nest each time. The young fledge quickly and can even start building their own 'practice' nests within months! The nest sites attract other important species. Some can even have mutualistic relationships while the nest is still in use (ex. the more elusive large-bodied cement truck). By the fall, the nest will be entirely unrecognizable and will actually be classified as a city park/ multi-use accessible trail habitat instead.

no its one of my fancy pencils :)

if YOU were turned into a zombie right now, and I caved your head in with a shovel, what kind of bra would i find on your corpse?

No nuance. If you don’t have a mother/are no contact etc this is not a poll for you.