OnBearFeet / Kat Beaufort

you’ll be fine. you made it out of impossible situations before and you will do it again

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? YOU WILL DO IT AGAIN.

why is this making me laugh so fucking hard

THANK YOU FOR ADDING A VISUAL OMG

welcome to the club

It is so, so difficult to explain to people that your favorite book is about transgender feminist dwarves, Nazi werewolves, and the mystery of a missing piece of really old ritual bread. And Opera saves the day.

yes, give us those sweet, sweet, terrible descriptions

A tortoise who’s really a god, finds an allegory for Jesus and they go on adventures in an ancient greece like place and then a desert 

The chief of police averts a rerun of an ancient war, partially despite and partially because of being possessed by a dying dwarf’s graffiti

It’s like Les Miserables but Javert is the good guy and also there’s time travel.  

Macbeth but it’s about the witches

Chapter one, the protagonist is hanged. Then he’s put in charge of the post office. Yes, in that order.

it’s like mulan if there were way more mulans in mulan and also pratchett is extra irritated that too many people missed the point of jingo

The bureaucrats of the universe get annoyed at the paperwork humanity causes so they decide to steal Christmas.  Replacement Christmas is done by Death and replacement Death is done by goth Mary Poppins, who is also in charge of the investigation.

these are all nice and accurate reasons to read discworld if you haven’t yet

Romeo and Juliet football AU but the other team is wizards

Hollywood????

An entire clan of tattooed, hairy, kleptomaniac, alcoholic Scotsmen decide a little girl is their new best friend whether she wants to be or not and she rescues her absolutely worthless brother by discovering the power of selfishness.

@cosmictwobyfour

Someone is dying, journalism is being invented, and part of Pulp Fiction is going on in the background.

The universes burocrats want to measure everything so they pay a man to imprison time so everything will stop and they can measure things in peace. Goth mary Poppins saves the day, the fifth horseman of the apocalypse is the best Milkman in the world, and chocolate saves the day. Also someone was born twice.

Classic dynastic machinations are happening in fantasy China, to be completely overturned by a gang of elderly barbarian heroes and the world’s worst wizard and best sprinter

Death incarnate battles a shopping cart for the fate of the world.  

@grifalinas

Phantom of the Opera au, except there’s witches, a cookbook that is thinly-veiled pornography, and Christine is played by a fledgeling witch with multiple personalities who can’t stop being sensible long enough to enjoy herself

Hidden heir to the throne decides an cynical, alcoholic cop is the best role model in the world.

Atlantis provides an excuse for a xenophobia-inspired war between Britain and the Middle East but it’s fine because the armies are arrested for conspiracy to cause public nuisance.

(sigh)(smile) All of the above.

You can defeat Vampire Fascism with the powers of violence, your debilitating anxiety disorder, and a nice cup of tea

the pied piper is a racket being run by some talking mice and a cat but they accidentally invent socialism. then of course there are also the rat horrors

A trio of witches (two of them uninvited) go on a journey to find out how the third one should be a fairy godmother. They run into and out of half-finished stories and manage to encounter a large amount of classic literature unscathed.

a cop time travels and has a hard boiled egg

The hanged conman in charge of the Post is now in charge of the Bank and the Mint, who are technically owned by an incontinent dog now. Stamps lead to the invention of banknotes and now there’s golems everywhere, which is a problem and a solution in itself.

The guy who made one of Replacement Death’s forms and experimented in steam power Died and his son created the first train, who is also a god and provides many of the autistic people of Fantasy New York/London a brand new hyperfixation, including the secretary of the most powerful man in Fantasy New York/London. Also the guy that should have been hanged (and is now in charge of the mint/post) is back helping the goblins make a revolution and work for his wife and train company. he takes goblin drugs at least twice and fights on top of a train with the alcoholic cop. dwarf bigots are mad about there being two genders.

Discworld Heritage Post

meet me under the pier we are going beast mode

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

I feel like to really get this circulating as it should, we need it superimposed over the picture of the turkey going in the fridge. (I can't do it I'm on my phone.)

With the 250th anniversary it's likely to be especially bad this year!

@daysleftofsecondterm

Already here buddy 👍

I hope you get your favorite food this week and your favorite drink and your favorite 2k dollars

I'm sorry there's no magic in this post I'm just talking. I hope good stuff happens to people online I hope good things happen to all of us