OnBearFeet / Kat Beaufort

@windsroad

I’m never going to understand what other people see in August am I

August is Thursday. It's tedious. Stifling. Smells a bit. Everyone's eager for the weekend, but it's not here yet and there's bullshit still to finish.

in 2026 i am wishing for all of us the energy of bilbo baggins, who was headhunted for an extremely well paid role he had no qualifications or experience for, blagged the interview, and within his first week found a magic ring that does the job for him

stop treating killing dragons as this act of bravery and valor. maybe ou should be kissieng and loving the dragons instead. and be more niceys

heey im a lil sad would anyone distract me with whatever

no move is needed to feel his passion

his moves and passion has exceeded my expectations

thank u lil guy

#i cannot overstate they will make the horse girls gayer to get your money#im sorry thats just literally what it is#japan knows about yuri money

Oh, I loved seeing this one in person at the Bowers! It was, of course, right next to the exit from the exhibit—and also the emergency exit from the damn hall, iirc—so naturally I snortlaughed myself into a mild asthma attack.

You were always so squirmy it made you hard to catch. This is how knife tag happened.

"Knife tag" is such an evocative turn of phrase, and a game to which I would love to know the details*

My mother has informed me that the crooked eyebrow was also due to my squirminess. Live by the squirm, die by the squirm.

Your dad was a doctor and it didn't occur to him to take you to THE EMERGENCY ROOM?!

why your sewing machine is acting up: - tension is wrong - wrong needle size - thread bit stuck somewhere - tension again - needs a deep clean and oiling - you said something and now its offended and refusing to cooperate until you realize your error and beg forgiveness

Puppy play but the dog partner just puts on a vest with SERVICE ANIMAL printed on the back and sorts their partner's mail and does their taxes and then goes home

Do the duties change outside of tax season?

Yes they also make scary phone calls and order and put away groceries.

Robot play but the robot partner just makes roomba noises and cleans all the floors in the house while the other partner watches tv

Does the robot also get a service vest?

From what I've seen with some roombas, they might have googly eyes

And a knife

i love coming home at the end of the day and untying the ribbon around my neck that holds my head on

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often