whats up its walnut

Swing state gothic

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

women were not banging out spirk fanfiction in the 60s for you to be AI generating your fic

is it too early or can we start screaming now

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember”  And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!”  So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

Happy pride month!!

Swing state gothic

As time goes on the idea of a "transtrender" gets funnier and funnier. At what point in time has there ever been a trend or clout to gain from being trans?

Gen z is getting into this new trend which involves losing all your friends and family and being effectively legal to rape and murder.

this pride month i want everyone to consider the benefits of abolishing the sex binary

furthermore, abolish the government systems that require people to categorize themselves into gendered categories. why do y'all need to know that.

Studies show that engaging in ritualized behavior significantly improves outcomes on measures of grief and feelings of control, even when the person participating in the ritual has little or no belief in the ritual’s power. Just a reminder for no one in particular.

I want all animals to become sapient enough to produce art specifically because I want to see what sort of sex homunculus caricature each species would create if given the ability to draw

Like we've already got the anime waifu with the needle-waist and watermelon-bazonkas and borzoi-legs and bug-eyes. Now show me a fucked-up stupid beetle as drawn by a horny beetle. I want to see what a cartoonishly sexy lion looks like according to lions. I want to see the most ridiculous drawing of a peahen that would have the peacocks squaring up by the fountain.

We give this power to ostriches and they just start drawing people

I love any variation on the joke of like "able bodied... for now" "not disabled. Yet" etc etc I love that it sounds like a threat and then we get to be like And why is that threatening to you, hmm. Now they feel like kind of a bad person. I am going to break their legs though so that's understandable

Why are you so afraid of having a body like mine, huh? Sounds like you have a lot of biases to unlearn and reflect on what societal ideas you've internalized that make you feel that way <- holding a comically large hammer behind my back

Like the truth of it is everyone will acquire some form of disability eventually if they live long enough, right. Because I'm out there. I'm coming

we need to restructure society in a way that places women with messy frizzy curls on top and everyone else on the bottom. i believe this will solve all the worlds problems. vote necrowtic for president

I feel like tumblr is giving me a somewhat skewed impression of what breaking bad is about

breaking bad heritage post