Safe space for the Repulsed

» You can send asks, confessions or complaints, I'm gonna try & repost some of repulsed stuff as well, tho that's not guaranteed.

» But please keep it civil & don't attack anyone.

» If you're not repulsed, but averse, you're welcome here too, or even if you use terms like non-partnering, non-amourous, etc. And for the others; you can lurk here but please don't directly interact by ex; commenting. This is a space for the other side of the spectrum, I'm sure you can find some general instead.

»Here's the general dni list:

• No aphobia/bigotry in general

• Don't attack people..and while you may go off rails a little, just don't go too far.

• And don't attack me either, but that should be obvious.

And I think this is enough, but if I decide to include something, I'll write it there.

i never returned to that therapist. still one of my worst experiences in therapy in general.

like

idk if im even fully romance repulsed (being arospike dont help that confusion) but god stop pls. i have said to them very clearly that due to being aromantic i do not like stories with a heavy focus on romance and yet they still show me them going 'oh but its not much' and the i fall for that and 'no we cant skip this gross lovey-dovey scene thats making u want to peal ur skin off its a major part of the plot!'

like how would this person (ace and sex repulsed) find it if i tried getting them into shows i like where sex scenes and sexual relationships r a big part of the plot? they wouldnt like that very reasonably. so why is it different with romance repulsion? riddle me that 1.

and like i feel bad for telling them i wont watch it because its part of their special interest. but that being their special interest doesnt make me less repulsed. and i do want to have them yap to me about it and show me and if i didnt feel gross when around romance i would its just. yeah.

idc how much u like it. i dont. i hate it. it makes me feel awful and genuinely want to crawl away into a hole somewhere. now stop trying to get me into romantic media and leave it the hell alone

anway tldr stop trying to get romance repulsed people into romantic media pls

I sometimes find myself scrolling on those subreddits where people complain about their "emotionally distant" exes. Even knowing it will just make me feel bad. "She never cuddled or touched me with any intimacy behind it" "I don't think I heard the words "I love you" from my partner even one" "He never initiated sex, it was always me who did that. And he agreed to have it, but it was obvious it wasn't a thing he was enjoying". Apparently doing this to someone is bordering on emotional abuse. Stripping them of the things they think a relationship should have.

The worst part is that i know some people would consider this a compliment and think i should be happy about being seen as "hot" but i just feel disgusting.

like idk i wonder where the 'repulsed aces are all super childish' stereotype comes from, when everything 'adult' contains sex. i want to watch stuff with a dark tone, i want to have adult friends i can have grown-up conversations with instead of teens who only care about fandom, i want to go out at night, theres so many experiences i want to have but cant, because i cant predict whether the people there decide to have a drawn out conversation about their sex life. and if i ask i get left out! other than other sex repulsed aces, who dont even seem to make up the majority of aces, theres nothing accessible. so then as a minority of a minority of a minority who cant talk to anyone who isnt like me, what do i do.

is there no one here who just wants to be a good friend to other people without basically dating them. please. i find i feel way more comfortable being with partnering aros because with them i at least know they recognize what a romantic relationship is and why it's inappropriate to ask a repulsed aro to kiss! or even to just fucking do it without consent because relationship anarchy somehow makes it okay to romantically assault someone! (i dont talk to that person anymore and it was an isolated incident thankfully)

interesting how i dont have this issue in the repulsed ace community. somehow everyone there understands that even though what's considered sex is also a social construct, saying "i'm so repulsed by sex! anyways can you perform oral sex on me [in a non-sexual way]" is fucking stupid and even if you personally somehow can say those things and mean them you should automatically assume it is absolutely not okay to ask another sex repulsed ace that.

(dont feel pressured to post this, idgaf)

I feel a bit better now! finding a place where I can express my thoughts is important to me. sex being everywhere was making me very disgusted and alienated and seeing others who I couldn't relate to and being aphobic was making it even worse

for every repulsed person out there: don't be afraid to look for supportive places where you can express yourself. even if others see it as you being negative. I think it's very important for us not to just keep it all inside all the time. that's why I hate it when we are told to keep silent and afraid to speak out

obviously there is a time and place for that. don't be a jerk to others. but finding like minded people is important for our wellbeing as a minority. it's the difference between feeling alone and isolated and finding out that you're not so alone after all and someone else feels the same way as you

non repulsed mostly don't understand how it gets so overwhelming and horrible for us sometimes