#asexual issues

reading and writing smut? great, love it!

looking at nsfw art of The Characters? awesome, give me more!

if you can wrap your head around asexuals who have sex without having sexual attraction, why can't you wrap your head around aromantics who have relationships without romantic attraction? you might say "well there's a microlabel for that! like aroflux or cupioromantic!" which is all well and fine....except those microlabels still fall under the aromantic spectrum. THEY ARE STILL AROMANTIC.

it seems to me that the same reason why people don't seem to view aromanticism as a fluid identity is the reason why people don't view asexuality as anything BUT a fluid identity, never acknowledging the asexuals who are sex-averse or repulsed in favor of always talking about those who DO have or like sex.

Aphobia exists as an insidious but ignored undercurrent. It often takes less visible forms than homo-, bi- and transphobia. Less overt. You seldom hear about people beaten up in the street because they are aro or ace. Instead the violence tends to happen behind locked doors and come from intimate partners.

You don't hear much about aro and ace people at all to be honest. Because of erasure. When someone does open up about being asexual, the reactions are usually full of ridicule and invalidation. But the majority of people don't even know what asexual or aromantic means. Sex ed classes don't mention the possibility of people being ace or aro. Aspec people grow up thinking that something is wrong with them because they have never heard that you can lack attraction.

And if they seek out a professional and ask if something is wrong with them, they are likely to be told that there is. Because even medical professionals don't know what asexuality and aromanticism are about and often see a lack of attraction as a symptom. An aspec person is also more likely than most to fall victim to conversion therapy.

The worst thing isn't pathologization/medicalization though. Not in my opinion at least. I think the worst is when ace and aro people are viewed as less human. Romantic love and sexual attraction are often seen as universal human experiences. Aspec people are compared to robots, aliens, animals... And that's a very slippery slope. That's the sort of thinking that leads people to ascribe less value to an aro or ace person's life. The sort of thinking that might make an aspec person ascribe less value to their own life.

I'm saying never. Was your sister intensely sex-repulsed? Because I am. Does she feel romantic attraction? Because I don't. One person's experiences are not anothers', stop acting like they're the same.

I hate how I tell people I'm asexual and their reaction is "oh so you're just freaky but you don't act on it".

I'm asexual. I lack a sexuality. I lack desire, drive, libido, and attraction, although I acknowledge that only lack of attraction is necessary for asexuality. I do not want anything to do with sex, fictional or otherwise. I'm not a fucking "coach", I am not a sexual creature.

I hate how asexuality has become sexualized.