moving books slightly to the left

just rewatched Jupiter Ascending and sorry not sorry that movie holds up actually. "technically speaking I'm an alien. and from the perspective of immigration, an illegal one" "luckily for you a woman owns this car /slaps a pad from the glove compartment on a bleeding wound/", harvesting eggs vs harvesting people for live-forever juice as a metaphor for capitalist exploitation, "the human beings on your planet are merely a resource waiting to be converted into capital." the aesthetic, the fashion, the CGI, the "I love dogs, I've always loved dogs." sean bean is there. literally this movie could not go harder.

If I were a murderer, and I'd meticulously planned a murder, and then I turned up at the place to do the murder and found that world-famous-murder-solver Hercule Poirot was also there, I would simply not do the murder.

I like when someone invents a new and disturbing way to Decorate Wrong

is this ship popular because it’s legitimately compelling or is it popular because it’s the easiest to decontextualize and write college roommate AUs about?

this post broke containment and is getting ‘let people have fun and enjoy things’ comments, so i want to clarify that i hate fun and want to personally bludgeon everyone who has ever written a college roommate AU with a hammer

fries. envelopes. ive been awake for 18 hours can i go to bed now.

you know i think the fact that friends and enemies autocorrected to this and i didn't notice is reason enough i should sleep

goo goo dolls if they were in dune: and i don’t want the worm to see me

Finding a 68 needles in a haystack pincushion

tomato is perfec t size for put needle inside very soft and comfort needle

I KNEW IT I KNEW THIS PINCUSHION ATE NEEDLES i have one just like it and i've lost so many to this damned thing

they should invent a body that feels normal to be inside of

@apocrypals

Hi, pope expert here. This isn’t funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress

Hi, pope expert here. This is really funny — popes only do this when they’re in extreme distress. Lol. Lmao.

Majoring in creative writing was a colossal mistake that ruined my life financially artistically socially and spiritually BUT i got to read aloud from My Immortal to a crowd of twenty horrified bystanders for academic credit. So I broke even

The assignment was to bring a story written by someone else and share the first paragraph with the class. Nowhere in the assignment description or the syllabus did it specify that the story had to be good

There's waking up and choosing violence, and then there's this.

they want you to make fried rice

who is "they"

the wok left

how am I supposed to make fried rice if the wok left

skillet issue

a moment of silence for my roommate who has to endure me doing linguistics homework. out loud. making sounds with parts of my mouth and throat I didn’t even realise I could use to make sounds. repeatedly and with passion

i think the moment of silence needs to come directly from you on this one

the horrors persist but my friends write beautiful fanfic