Phrases I unfollow for include: TME/TMA, transandrophobia, and any strong moral opinion about Rocky Horror. I have no patience for trans discourse whatsoever.
I don’t do chain/copy paste ask games, but thanks for thinking of me!
I won’t post fundraisers sent in my asks or submissions. Being responsible for someone's life like that is harrowing, and I just don’t have the energy to vet them besides.
I love being tagged in posts about chickens, spiders, and evil women, if you're so inclined.
I only accept anon hate in the form of limerick. Please be aware of this before sending or your message will be blocked & deleted without comment. My blog MUST remain a silly space.
Karibu karibu, enjoy your stay!
Blacklist and Personal Tags:
#important - catch-all politics & current events tag.
#this is cassandra - talks tag. From the song by Talis Kimberley.
#sadismposting, #the intersection where the bodies meet - horny violence babyyyy! Largely defunct as I work through some stuff.
#something rotten in the house - incest, haunted houses, and greek tragedy.
#torture - Torture, trauma theory, and solitary confinement.
#echo's book club - books I've been reading!
#echoes of the past - don't worry about this one.
I can be rather inconsistent when tagging!
Interests:
Opera - #opera tag
Fashion and textile arts, focused historical techniques & materials. I’ve knitted hand warmers from yarn I cleaned, carded, and spun myself! - #textile, #move the sheep and the fences around, #clothing
Sub-Saharan African mythology & cultures, for nostalgia reasons. May rarely post in Kiswahili. - #africa
Farming, homesteading, animal husbandry, etc. No tag. Lots of chickens.
Feminism and transfeminism! No tag. Re: above, I use transfem/not-transfem.
Spiders - #spiders
World mythology, media analysis, meta narrative. Enemies to lovers, too; if the Epic of Gilgamesh did it, I can put it here. #can’t argue with a monomyth, #enemies with benefits, #stories
Character tags: #gawainposting, #gearposting, #ishtarposting, #xipe totec posting, #zoraposting
Misc: #heave ho bitches, #knightposting, #labyrinth, #minotaur, #the mask, #the body, #unified tag for posts like this, #unicorn, #angels
Fandoms & medias & sideblogs & such
No Evil (@f-yeah-no-evil)
Abzu, Journey, Sky cotl (@starsfallhome)
Hollow Knight (@bobbinbugs)
Kiwi Blitz (@normalkiwiblitz)
Project Hail Mary (@shitty-eridians)
Books: House of Leaves, The Left Hand Of Darkness, Piranesi, [quite literally everything by Borges], The Last Unicorn
Animations & Animes: Revolutionary Girl Utena, Dungeon Meshi, Blue Eye Samurai, Arcane (loved s1, s2 critical), Epithet Erased, Witch Hat Atelier, Princess Tutu + princess tutu abridged (what I initially started this blog for!), Lego Monkie Kid
Video Games: Death Palette, Outer Wilds, Portal 1 & 2, Ultrakill, Hatoful Boyfriend, Hades, Blue Prince
Podcasts: Mabel, The Silt Verses
Paul Shapera (no longer following but soft spot for older works)
Medieval literature
The Epic of Gilgamesh, Inanna's Descent Into the Underworld, various mesopotamian stone tablets (Agushaya Hymn my beloved)
Original Stories and Characters
Desiree: Horror. A woman escapes to an abandoned lighthouse after killing and eating the woman she lusts after, to her considerable psychological detriment. There are no rats on Bishop's Point, but the ghost is very real. Short story, final draft
Taffeta/The Perfect Machine: Mecha, adventure. Hobbyist mecha battler breaks into a private military org, trying to steal back a peer's design... and gets more than she bargained for when she runs into Taffeta, the nation's only biomecha unit. Planned as 50-page comic/may have a novelization, first draft
Starving Season/Crow & Kipepeo: Urban fantasy. During an unusually brutal dry season, a shapeshifting crow-woman 'seduces' a young man into transitioning. Now a young woman, Namirembe must navigate a new identity, sexual & magical awakenings, and her own self-loathing in a country that's Actively Trying To Kill Her. Nagawonyi, goddess of hunger, is also there. Illustrated novella, concept stage
Narcissus and No One: Mystery. A man escapes to a lovely chateau the countryside, but starts hearing a voice that repeats the last word or syllable he spoke. To get to the bottom of this, he must face three reflections (entry room, bathroom, bedroom/id, ego, superego). Video game, concept stage
Outsides-In: Horror. After failing in her performance as a 'living statue,' a girl who gave up her name, memory, and literal heart crawls through the tunnels of the underground, trying to find her way back to herself. Features autocannibalism. Originally a "human-in-Hallownest but played for horror" concept, hence the name. Needs reworking, concept stage
Eremai: Girl with a generational curse, passed down from mother to daughter, is destined to burn down everything she loves at random intervals. She is a constant runaway who tries on new personalities like hats. Originally an Aurora (Webcomic) OC, but I've cut ties with the fandom. No rework planned, but I tag for her sometimes.
Pretty much everything I write is about women because I am a gay lesbian.
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There's this category of TTRPG where the seemingly only selling point besides maybe artwork is giving players permission to jerk off to their own moral purity as manifest from buying the TTRPG.
Candela Obscura is the strawman put forward in this post, but it’s a game that actually exists:
[This was partially written by @ashweather, another member of the A.N.I.M. team.]
Let me preface this by saying that I don’t think that the makers of Candela Obscura are morally evil, or that I think less of your moral worth if you’ve played or enjoyed this game. It’s just that, at best, the game has a really obnoxious and cowardly tone and at worst has a lot of shit in it that looks really bad if you think about it for more than 5 seconds.
If you think that tabletop RPGS are art (and we do), then they can be analyzed like art. They can have unfortunate implications or reflect unexamined reactionary politics. This post is going to be taking screenshots from both the quick start guide and the full rulebook to make this point - while the text between the two is broadly similar, the quickstart guide is more overtly finger-wagging and hostile, saying the quiet part out loud.
The thing about Candela Obscura is that it takes place in a fantasy 19th-century England/USA, but it really wants to pretend that it doesn’t. It wants the aesthetics of this setting and almost every trope that comes baked into it, but also wants to act like it’s above all that. It wants to have its cake and denounce it too. It’s so pants-shittingly terrified that it or the players might say or do something “problematic” that it loops back around to being incredibly offensive.
To take just a few examples, the text is absolutely riddled with this kind of sentiment:
(What the fuck do they think an “explorer” is? Also, I think I have some bad news about 19th century doctors.)
Okay. Look. A lot of this is gesturing at principles that are unobjectionable or even useful to keep in mind when writing a setting like this. Yes, it’s ideal to have a non-Eurocentric historical understanding of technology and culture. Yes, refugees are human beings with their own valuable skills and perspectives. Yes, if you uncritically write an expy of Victorian England or late 19th-century New England, you’re gonna end up with a bunch of insane stereotypes (especially Orientalist ones) that you probably shouldn’t just blithely put to the page without thinking about them. And yes, bigotry is a bad thing, obviously.
The problem is twofold: The first is that Candela Obscura feels the need to take a patronizing tone towards its own readers, as though they were incapable of engaging critically with the setting or subject matter on their own terms. The second is that despite all of this finger-wagging, Candela Obscura absolutely does not present a setting with any critical thinking put into its basic construction. (We checked, by the way. None of what we are about to present is supposed to be in-universe propaganda. If it is intended to be, this is not made clear at all in the text itself.)
The game takes place primarily in the city of Newfaire and its surrounding environs - the Fairelands. The Fairelands are prosperous and idyllic, and all but outright stated to be “the good guys.” All of the “problematic” aspects of the societies the game is emulating are either scrubbed without thinking about the implications of scrubbing them..
(Don’t worry guys there’s no colonialism here, this version of fantastical New York was settled on a Terra Nullius where nobody lived, right over the ruins of an ancient society with a mix of Egyptian and Mesoamerican coding who practiced strange and corruptive magicks. Remember, reader, this game wants you to go out of your way to avoid reproducing any harmful stereotypes from the era.)
..or are present without any historical or structural reasons for them to be present:
(Don’t worry guys, sex work is lawful, profitable, safe, and socially acceptable! Oh yeah all the sex work happens in shady, spooky-looking crime districts that cops monitor, filled with drug-filled dens of illegal vice, though. By the way, there is no brothel listed in this district’s points of interests, or any further discussion of what sex work in Newfaire is actually like.)
There are so many examples of this that we could spill a novel’s worth of digital ink talking about it. (We just don’t have time to get into, for instance, their adventure inspired by the “radium girls” where the primary victim of the dangerous substance in question is a customer who is already dead when the adventure starts and not the workers who make the products.) Honestly though, this paragraph says more than we could in a hundred pages:
Here we find out that we are reading a TTRPG setting that has the same understanding of bigotry as the movie Crash. No institutionalized bigotry, just “bad actors who hold terrible beliefs.” Just bad apples, with no personal history or cultural roots to their ideas, who presumably sprung out of the ground one day declaring themselves Republicans. Not only do these bad actors come from nowhere, they don’t go anywhere either. They don’t belong to any social movements, they don’t get organized, they don’t push for regressive political changes, and if they ever do, they certainly never succeed at those goals.
You see, despite these bad apples, the soil they grew from is pure. And you know something else about the idyllic, almost utopian Fairelands? They’re under assault.
That’s right! Hale (which the Fairelands is a part of) is under assault from the dastardly, corruptive forces of… uh, “Otherwhere.” (Yeah, do they all have hooked noses and recessed chins too?) That’s where all of the dirty foreigners invaders come from, who want to take away the prosperity of the Fairelands!
Oh, or maybe their whole culture were all coerced into doing it by an evil rock or something, which is definitely less xenophobic. But whatever, who cares what the reasons were. The Fairelands are under attack, and as the dominant power in the world, they need to defend themselves. Against the “colonists.” With nukes chain lightning.
(That last sentence continues on “tens of thousands..” You get the picture.) So, whew, glad that’s over! Otherwhere is still really dangerous, though. They might even be developing weapons of mass destruction of their own:
You know, if Candela Obscura were a person, I have a feeling I wouldn’t want to hear its thoughts on Israel.
You might be asking, where do the PCs fit in this? Well. The PCs are members of the in-universe organization Candela Obscura. They are an enormously powerful and widespread secret society of sometimes-cops sometimes-vigilantes who fight against the corruptive forces of magick to keep humanity safe. They keep dark secrets, “perform questionable acts in the name of the common good,” and operate entirely without oversight or responsibilities to anyone other than this organization. We are assured that this organization has the best interests of the regions they operate in and of all humanity in mind.
It’s actually fine - cool, even! - that PCs are secret police/CIA agents who engage in morally dubious acts for the purported common good. Newfaire’s society being deeply flawed is fine! The Fairelands as a political entity furthering an explicit narrative of being persecuted is fine! The problem is not that any of these elements exist, the problem is that Candela Obscura is utterly allergic to examining them. The text seemingly does not understand the setting it has presented at all.
The game wants to be anti-conservative, but the only kind of story it can produce is one of heroes who are ultimately aligned with the dominant power of the world, preserving the good and righteous status quo by fighting against corruptive, foreign, magical forces. “Gay transgender women of all races can be holy knights secret police fighting to protect the good kingdom democracy from the endless hordes of the evil dark race that has threatened its borders for a thousand in recent years!”
On a first read a while back, I said Candela Obscura’s gameplay mechanics make it sound like a game more meant to create “actual-play” shows than to be actually played. On examining the text more closely, that’s more true than I even realized at the time. The reason the game has all these bits about how not to be problematic - all of these instructions for avoiding engaging with the more controversial aspects of the setting - is because it’s not really intended as a game to be played in a private environment. It’s intended as brand guidelines for putting on an actual play show. If you google Candela Obscura, the IMBD page for the actual play series appears before the store page for the rulebook.
It seems like the game really doesn’t want you to play a character outside of your own culture. And sure, as stated earlier, it is a good idea not to have a mysticized idea of other cultures, or represent them in a callous way. For a private game played at home, though, this is not really something you need to dedicate pages accounting for. Nobody outside the table has to hear a poorly-done accent or contend with a less-than-perfectly researched religious portrayal - and if there is a pervasive issue with someone being bigoted or leaning on stereotypes at the table, frankly, that is a problem that is outside the scope of a TTRPG to address.
However, if you are an actor on a show, portraying people from different cultures comes with a whole different set of (much more justified) baggage. Candela Obscura’s approach to player attitudes on the setting makes so much more sense as brand guidelines than it does as a codification of how to play a game. "Don’t have actors appear in insensitive costumes on camera." "Don’t have actors say foreign words they don’t know how to pronounce on camera." "Remember not to have your white actor do a Romani 'fortune-telling' scene on camera." "Don’t show anything that could negatively affect the perception of the brand."
We’d like to end this by contrasting this attitude with Coyote & Crow, a game made by indigenous Americans, and one that is also actually meant to be played. Coyote & Crow invites all players to (respectfully, in good faith) create characters from indigenous cultures. The creators have challenged those who avoid their game on the basis that “they don’t want to be disrespectful by playing it” because that would involve portraying a Native character - in the end, who is that helping? That attitude results in potential players who remain just as ignorant of Native American cultures and - more importantly - don’t buy or support their game!
I have encountered this firsthand. I'm a massive history nerd, especially about pirates (among other things, but pirates are relevant to the story). I was hanging out in a system agnostic TTRPG server and Pirate Borg was mentioned so I talked about my idea for a historical fantasy campaign set around historical pirates and the Nassau Pirate's Republic. Started explaining some basic ideas, how it's basically about trying to keep this rogue nation together amid external hostility from England, France, and Spain and internal strife caused by a lack of trust and Edward Teach's descent into madness. Naturally this brings up Blackbeard and his crew, which contained several escaped slaves, and that the Queen Anne's revenge was a former slave ship. I immediately get the *several people are typing...* and am welcomed with several messages that Pirate Borg takes place in an alternate history where slavery never happened. I end up trying to have to defend myself, explaining the *true facts* that most pirates were escaped slaves, both native and black, and that a lot of pirate ships were captured slave ships because they had thicker hulls and could take more punishment in a fight. They were like "But you can have diverse crews and sturdy ships without bringing slavery into it." My response was "you *could*, but then you lose valuable historical context and systemic evils to fight against, I like running stories about making the world a better place." Some people understood that, but many of them *literally* shot back "But thinking about slavery makes me uncomfortable, so maybe just write it out of the setting?" That's when I shut up but I was just screaming in my head "YES, THE POINT IS IT SHOULD MAKE YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AND WANT TO CORRECT IT"
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Trans boy of colour dont look at those European men for transition inspo trans boy of colour. Trans boy of colour please look at people of your ethnicity you need to Lock In and realize that the standards you’re setting yourself up for are rooted in white supremacy. Trans boy of colour a white European man is NOT the peak of masculinity
i know this is themed after the taylor swift but there is something so deeply funny about getting a cutesy wootsy beaded bracelet at claires that says "tortured". who else is being tortured in this claires⁉️ if you're being tortured in claires make some noise ‼️💯
i hate moralizing in fiction but deeply value moral seriousness. very different things for me. the former exists in abundance and the latter is in short supply.
moralizing - having decided a moral lesson in advance and the fiction merely becomes the vehicle of lecturing the audience, and its goal to ensure their mastery of this lesson. no questions need be asked, because all answers are assumed known. moral seriousness - records a sincere grappling with difficult questions, taking opposing views seriously (which can arrive at condemnation - but first there must be an argument, rather than dismissal of them out of hand from a stance of superiority) inviting interlocutors to do so as well. can arrive at a very firm and clear and strident moral message, even, and often preferably! but the humility and curiosity of an accounting of the struggle, both on part of characters and the author, is very key to me, for what fiction can do, what it has uniquely to offer.
WARNING do NOT start reading books and comics or watching movies or looking at art!!! you will start wanting to create art yourself. or god forbid. writing.
*clean out the oldass canned shit that's been sitting in the pantry for literal years because sometimes there really isn't any food and so throwing anything out that's still unopened is basically the eighth deadly biblical sin but honest hand to god that shit is never getting eaten
Hey. Hey not to make a jokepost deep but some of this shit was in my go-bag from before I moved out of my parent's house.
I first packed it up in ziplock freezer bags along with matches and a tarp n other junk in case shit went south and I needed to lay low in the woods a couple days.
And now I'm an adult, living in my own apartment, paying my own rent with my own career in a job I enjoy, with my own towels and plates and shampoo I bought because I like the smell.
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Filled out college form things. purchased some bookends. musing on how my ex abused me into thinking i was an abuser and a bigot but refused to let me leave. remembering spasming on the floor naked at my parents' feet, unable to do anything but scream, and being told to be quieter so the nightbors wouldn't think poorly of them. how humiliating it was. said parents just called me up for dinner. going to sew later. so it goes.
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Belonged to Liane de Pougy, a courtesan. possibly a gift from her lover, actress and writer Natalie Clifford Barney
(Reminder that anklets would not fit over the generally high-top boots back then, or even stockings with low evening pumps, and would seldom be visible under long skirts anyway. So this gift has an erotic component inherently- it only works, given late Belle Epoque clothing, if worn when nude or scantily clad)
Good news: uncle did teach me Cabinets, and I'm going to make serious effort into inheriting (or at least learning all I can from) his historic clock repair business! Going to try and visit in october so I can paint custom glass for him~