Spiderwebs And Lace

final mental illness musing of the night but as you all know, i’ve suffered from an extremely severe case of depression since i was a toddler. and one of the most infuriating things about growing up this way was how many adults seem to just not understand that children can be depressed. sure, you may associate depression with teen years, but there are plenty of kids 12 and under who are deeply, deeply depressed and it’s just completely overlooked. When I talk about how early my suicidal behaviors started, people go ‘wow! i had no idea that it could start so young?’ but i have several friends who were also depressed as kids and i don’t think it’s that uncommon. i mean, bullying is frequent in children’s lives and yet you don’t think an 8 year old can get suicidal? It all goes back to people not seeing children as people, of course. Considering them not capable of complex emotions. I just feel for all the kids who go untreated because their parents haven’t stopped to think if theres a reason why their kid spends all their time in their room.

So what I think is that there's this default belief in patriarchy that men are superior to women and therefore the "masculine" sphere is superior to the "feminine" sphere. And so, as feminists have fought to expand the number of allowable female activities, men (on the aggregate over generations) have retreated from those activities because they're now seen as "feminine", and so partaking in them is incommensurate with their belief in their own superiority. And, unfortunately, as this has progressed, this has resulted in a lot of men sectioning themselves off from, frankly, everything that actually makes being alive worthwhile. It's a misery spiral, and the only way out is to abandon male supremacy.

#more women in higher education meaning fewer men is incredibly depressing to me. funny in a sad way#what happens when women will finally get into trades? will they just stop working

so many great things about the “i’d let him do open heart surgery on me if he wanted” quote, but i love that it’s another case of grace displacing his wants onto the other person. so he doesn’t have to be rejected. does stratt want me to work on the project? do my friends want me at the party? does the scientific community want me at the conference? does rocky want to do surgery on me? mf do YOU want these things?? can you take ownership of your own desires…

guys my students would be so bummed if you sent me to die. have we thought about how they feel.

ultimately i think the eternal draw of concubine dramas for me is that they all focus on this extremely taxing condition of co-victimhood under a supreme, omnipotent master where nonetheless gradations of power are wielded against each other, creating at all times and for virtually all characters the possibility to be both receiver and perpetrator of abuses. there is a structural impossibility in tracing a marked separation between people that harm and people that are harmed, people that have power and people that don't: everyone lives in a tightly interconnected hive of ritualised relations where numerous hierarchies are harshly defined and enforced but also open to reshuffling. navigating it requires inevitably confronting your condition as both object and subject, both passive and agentive member of the inescapable cycle of subjugations dictated by an unchangeable social order. the coexistence of multiple axes and levels of power is not uncommon in any social context, but concubine dramas are particularly effective in showing complex stratifications that are highly condensed in a closed environment with relatively few participants. it's a pressure cooker of ethical dilemmas over possessing a relation to power that cannot be rejected or evaded but only negotiated and re-negotiated. the refusal (mostly due to historical impossibility) to provide a way out of this conflict is something i deeply appreciate

i love movies so much i want to live. didnt watch one or anything ive just been staring at the wall recently

More gnc female characters NOW

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

thy mother

Art thou for fucking real

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?