Rosemary? You mean spicy pine needles?
Are you insinuating that regular pine needles arenât spicy???
Regular pine needles are regular
Not by rosemary standards
âŚHave you eaten pine needles?
Weâve been friends for like four years, do you seriously have to ask if Iâve eaten pine needles or not
I mean Iâm pretty sure you have but I donât want to assume
Of course Iâve eaten pine needles. Various kinds. Singleleaf pinyon is weirdly the best
Are theyâŚ
spicy?
You know, Iâd love to tell you but Iâm pretty unclear about what marks the difference between âspiceâ and âstrong-tasting plant that isnât considered a spiceâ
Iâll have to eat some pine needles myself then to find out
Ok but it only counts if theyâre PINE needles and not just any old needle-like leaf off a tree
Iâm going to eat every needle-like leaf I see
Please Donât Do That
Needle-Like Leaf Roulette
âŚIâll accept this plan as long as you promise not to eat any yew leaves.
I can try very hard not to
Pine needles are distinguished by the presence of a sheath-like structure at the base of the leaf, almost always holding bundles of two or more leaves. Yews donât have the sheath thing
Itâs time for me to go out into the woods and stare at needle leaves
Finally you can gain real insight into my average daily life
this conversation reads like two shakespeare characters who come out in the middle of the play to talk about something completely unrelated for comic relief and then are never heard from again
god fucking dammit gimme a minute
Enter AERUH and MALUS SYL-VESTRIS, a pair of JESTERS.
AERUH I tell thee, rosemary is like a pine but with a spicy taste.
MALUS Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Art thou to claim that needles base of pine have not a spice?
AERUH A needle base of pine is merely base.
MALUS âTis not when held, comparing, to anthos.
AERUH My dearest Malus, needles thou'st eaten?
MALUS How many moons have we as friends seen rise? How many suns have we as friends seen set? Thou sixteen seasons in my heart Iâve held, and hope that I in thine hast been the same. With brotherhood as rich and old as this, thou needst not ask me such frivolities.
AERUH I know thou likely has, to tell the truth, but I would not assume.
MALUS Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Well, yes, I have. A multitude of types Iâve eaten too. Iâll tell thee now: the best (though it is strange) is single-leaf pinyon.
AERUH Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â And it has spice?
MALUS I truly wish that I could tell thee this, but now, i'faith, I cannot fully tell, the difference in classifying thus: to say âhas spiceâ or merely âherbal strengthâ.
AERUH To tell this tale most clearly it would seem that eating needles from a pineâs required.
MALUS Aye, it would seem that thatâs the task at hand, but caution tells that this is whatâs to do: eat only needles of the honest pine, and none of lying leaf with pinelike shape.
AERUH Iâll eat them all.
MALUS Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â I prithee, stay thyself.
AERUH Roulette with leaves.
MALUS Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â At least restrain from yew.
AERUH Iâll do my best.
MALUS Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â That is all can we do. The scholars tell that needles true of pine can be distinguished from the lying yew by sheathlike clothing all along the base; the yew has no such guard.
AERUH Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â With this new truth I now will venture out into the wood and seek the pines and pinelike fakes alike to stare them down and learn their secret truths.
MALUS With this thou canst at long and weary last Discover for thyself my lifeâs own path.
Exeunt.
Enter MACDUFF.
MACDUFF. Yo dudes that king thereâs dead. Like dead as FUCK.
