Fic Author Poppy Alexander

So I carried on, trying to fight the dark instincts, feeling VERY. GUILTY. for having killed all the people who loved me (I re-dyed all Tav's armour and clothes in shades of brown, and cut her hair into a drastic and unflattering style, as penance), accompanied by these three personality-free ghosts I am only using for their skills. I turned my focus toward using this playthrough as just a learning opportunity--focusing on min-maxing the builds and better understanding game mechanics, rather than feeling any type of way about the plot.

But then! I got to Act 3! Just having clear sunny weather after the absolute bummer of a time I had in the Shadow-Cursed Lands lifted my spirits a little. And when I got to Sharess's Caress and Raphael offered to give me the Orphic Hammer in exchange for my soul. . .Inspiration struck!

I will just keep this deal I've made with the devil.

I will defeat the Brain, free the citizens from the mind-flayer parasites, and retrieve the Crown of Karsus. I will give the crown to Raphael, as promised, and let him become the Archdevil of all Nine Hells. How much worse could he possibly make it? It's the Hells. Plus he's grown on me, and my boyfriend Gale and girlfriend Karlach are dead so honestly I'm kind of seeing him in a new light all of a sudden. (Any port in a storm.)

Annnnyway. . .So I'll give Raphael the power to control all Nine Hells, and I'll just. . .let him keep my soul. I won't have to become The Absolute *OR* give in to being Bhaal's chosen and literally murder the whole world (not that I don't love the idea of murdering the whole world, but that's for a "dark/darker/darkest urge" playthrough, not this one). It seems fitting that as awful as I've been feeling about that horrible night at camp (and the pile of dead naked companions I have to keep dumping in different corners of new camps so I don't have to look at them), that Tav can finish this journey by saving those she can save, then spend eternity in the Hells. I know Karlach hated it there, but honestly, most of what I've seen of it doesn't seem that bad.

My one regret here is that by choosing this path, I can't save Hope. I love her so much. But for this to work I have to stay out of the House of Hope altogether.

Please, nobody tell me this isn't possible. I have signed the contract every time, and stolen/destroyed the contract every time, but I have to think in a game this well-designed, there must be a path that allows me to reach the end of the game without ever getting out of the contract. If I'm wrong, I'll just do the best I can. Maybe I can save the city/world and then just imagine myself spending the rest of my days walking around the world, making up for the horrible slaughter I committed only because stupididiot Isobel used her first turn to walk out of the Globe of Invulnerability I built for her. STUPID. IDIOT.

OK, OK, it's not her fault; I should have predicted that. But it was allowing Isobel's kidnapping that set off the hideous chain reaction that lead to me murdering Gale, which made my party turn on me.

But anyway. This Honour Mode party at Level 12 are a full-on murder squad, so I'm gonna wreck the Steel Watch Foundry, then maybe fight Cazador for fun (I told the Gur tribe I would, so even though Astarion is dead/naked in the corner of my current camp, and the Gur children cannot actually be saved. . .Tav is trying her best), then it's a dead run to the finish.

I'll let you know how it goes.