anything you say, giles

midwife? don't say that. a wife could never be that.

u can just do whatever at any age all of the time nobody cares except teenagers

teenager will be like ur 40 with a hobby ? 💀 that’s sad <- nobody else thinks this way though they are just going through some stuff

You all are the coolest people I vaguely know

Even when I was a little kid I wanted to have a beer and a cigarette on my porch some cool summer night

when i check my activity on tumblr i feel like the ceo of a failing company 

“Why don’t you use ai” idk man beyond the obvious environmental and “this machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselves” thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid

it’s crazy to me how ice water is a uniquely american phenomenon. it’s the greatest drink in the entire world. how have other countries not hopped on board? genuinely don’t understand how sparkling water is ubiquitous in a way that simple ice water isn’t. whenever i ask for ice water outside the u.s., they put 2 ice cubes in a glass, and i’m always too ashamed of being american to ask for more. but it’s our single healthy habit! luckily i am always prepared (half gallon insulated water bottle that i fill with ice myself and then fill with water and always carry around with me) but it really is baffling every time i travel.

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

Plane tickets should be free for lesbians on account of lesbians’ inability to date in their area.

microdosing hell by being awake and literate