The Reading Nook

GOLDENEYE 1995

Summer breeze

How it started - how it ends. Thank you Sam ❤️

The flash of a memory from a year ago went through her mind as she sat down on the sofa surrounded by so much happiness. So different from last time. How all the hopes she’d had for the first peacetime Christmas were shattered when suddenly Siegfried had invited Dorothy to Christmas lunch. And even though he had done exactly what she’d told him to do, her inside was like an open wound. She remembered how the muscles in her face had ached from smiling constantly. To be honest, it wasn’t a smile, it was more like a grimace, a contortion. And no one had noticed. Siegfried hadn’t even looked at her, he almost seemed to avoid her. It had been a horrible day from beginning to end.

The thing is, there’s no way to know where these people are coming from. In the before, when fandom was more in the corners we all knew about, you could search LJ or a message board or whatever social bookmarking site we were using. You could join the community and participate.

You could get a little dopamine hit by seeing someone tell their friends why they loved your story.

Anymore, those recs are hidden in discords, or in tiktoks or instagram slideshows that you can’t search for. They’re inaccessible, not discoverable unless you’re already there. You may never know why 27 people left kudos on an old story of yours, what they liked and found in your writing. You just get the thumbs up and a kinda lonely feeling, cause these could be your people. You could like them, maybe. You could be friends.

But you’ll never find out why they stopped by, or what people are saying about you behind your back, and that’s sad.