Busarewski

It's Thursday again, which means time for another chapter of Shattering at the Helm, my Mysterious Lotus Casebook difanghua longfic!

In this week's chapter, Fang Duobing arrives at Lotus Tower and grills Di Feisheng about his plan to help Li Lianhua!

Happy reading!

Shattering at the Helm (11784 words) by bbcphile

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, difanghua pre-slash, Li Lianhua | Li Xiangyi Lives, Grief/Mourning, Suicidal Thoughts, Nightmares, Flashbacks, Panic Attacks, Disability, Dissociation, Kissing, Sharing a Bed, Medical Procedures, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Child Abuse Summary:

Xiangyi's pulse beat steadily in his sleep. He was alright, for the moment. Well, Di Feisheng thought, as he prepared to fling more qi to shore up the seal over his Baihui acupoint and braced for agonizing pain that would have him wishing he knew how to scream from it, that makes one of us.

Finding Li Lianhua and restarting his silent heart after months of searching was the easy part. Convincing him to let them heal his shattered meridians would be tricky. Piecing together the secrets they’re all hiding, and healing their fractured trust before they destroy themselves? A challenge the last three months had made almost impossible. Almost.

Read it here on AO3!

discovery of the week: The Man from C.A.M.P. series by Victor J. Banis (published under the pseudonym Don Holliday), a series of iconic gay pulps from the 60s, which was just republished earlier this year!

“I am to gratify his pleasure and nurse his child, I am a piece of household furniture, I am a woman. I try to suppress all human feelings. When the machine is working properly it heats the milk, knits a blanket, makes little requests and bustles about trying not to think […].“

She wrote this when she was 19, one year into her marriage to Leo and as she was pregnant with the first of his 13 children.

A few years later, when she was 25 or so:

“I am so often alone with my thoughts that the need to write in my diary comes quite naturally … Now I am well again and not pregnant—it terrifies me how often I have been in that condition. He said that for him being young meant “I can achieve anything”. For me […] reason tells me that there is nothing I either want or can do beyond nursing, eating, drinking, sleeping, and loving and caring for my husband and babies, all of which I know is happiness of a kind, but why do I feel so woeful all the time, and weep as I did yesterday? I am writing this now with the pleasantly exciting sense that nobody will ever read it, so I can be quite frank with myself […].“

During her 12th pregnancy she wrote about taking scalding baths and jumping from high pieces of furniture to try and miscarry.  And at one point while reading her husband’s diary (which he told her to read) she found the sentence “There is no such thing as love, only the physical need for intercourse and the practical need for a life companion.” In her own diary she wrote “They ebb and flow like waves, these times when I realise how lonely I am and want only to cry…”

縱有千萬張假面 一瞬間 怕見到熟悉的臉

- 西沉 Sinking westward -

I've been thinking, I initially assumed Miss Dông in Mystic Nine s2 was Zhang HâiQí but it would make more sense if it was Zhang HâiLóu

[...spoiler for NánYáng Mystery under the cut]

🖌Commission

Reading a pornographic story on your phone quietly and feeling vaguely aroused: idgaf

Thinking about stuff that makes you feel aroused: how tf would I know unless you tell me? I don't care but I don't want to hear about it

Seeing your fetish in the wild and getting a bit squirmy and turned on: again I'm not going to know unless you tell me. I don't care! Just text your friend about it like the rest of us

As long as you aren't irritating me I don't give a shit what you're doing or thinking about or how aroused you are

Just don't like, masturbate or watch porn videos on the bus where people can see and hear it. And my objection to that is not that it's horny it's that it's objectively rude

I would also get annoyed at someone picking their nose and flicking the boogies about or playing non porn videos loudly on the bus

being completely and utterly against censorship is the main core principle of ao3.

ao3 was created specifically to host and give a platform to fics that were banned on other platforms.

therefore the most disgusting and shockingly vile fanfic you find is the exact reason why ao3 was created in the first place.