cursed dick energy

my “ask me about my lobotomy” shirt is raising a lot of questions i can’t really remember the answers to

i fuckin hate games where u furnish/decorate a house because it reminds me i truly have no fucking idea what youre supposed to have in a room

Am I just missing the red wine sea posts or are they just odd to see?

Skells I know this is a funny pun and all but this is tumblr.com and if you spawn a flood of “don’t you love the color of the sea” posts I’m going to send a wooden horse as a thank you gift I swear to Athena

Jokes on you, I have Athena in my lap right now because my wife left for a picnic and I’m the only human left.

there are some things a character should not be able to tell us about themselves EVEN with a gun to their head. depending on the character that could even expand to include "most" things

i'm talking "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink" territory. "i've constructed an elaborate rube goldberg machine of plot to force this character to have precisely the realization about themselves that i want them to, and i'm only maybe 60% sure it'll work" territory. "the deity of their choice reveals it to them in a dream and they wake up and say, 'no, that can't be right,' and promptly forget about it" territory.

i see a curved penis and i want to fix that shit. it's not that it's gross i just bet an hour in a bench vice would make that shit shoot straight. i wanna comically spin the handle and wrench it tight with the skill of a shop teacher that's been doing this for years. safety goggles on. heavy duty gloves. op! be careful of the clenching back there. that's how Ms. Paradise lost a pinky in college.

girl why is your pussy trying to take me on the road less traveled. fucking that thing i hear google maps say "exit left." trying to hit your spot but your pussy said that's not part of the guided tour. your shit is so twisted the people's joker took it to her doctor saying "like this please." I KNOW she WILL be comin around the mountain when she comes! i always wanted a girl who turned heads, but this is ridiculous!!!