#itbc system

having to sit for about 45 minutes just trying to keep control and so terrified

I'm not trying to blame the creators of the flags or the people who use it, I just want people to be aware of this and be more careful of what they share about themselves online.

Day 1: Describe your system. What kind of system, how big, anything you feel is a good introduction.

Oh god this is either going to be horrendously long or just… not good HAHA

So our system is a DID system. We’re diagnosed with DID. Community wise, we self describe as having HC-DID; we’re a programmed system. We survived OEA and intentional torture based conditioning (ITBC). Because of this we’re absurdly complex, so much so we’ve had to create our own terms and descriptions just to help US understand our own collective structure. We don’t know how many parts we have, somewhere in the thousands, but we do know we have about 63 side systems, with each side system having between 2-1000 parts. The VAST majority of us are fragments, typically programmed fragments that are required to do specific things, and hold the trauma memories related to those things. Ignoring fragments there are probably only 200-300 fully formed parts in our systems.

The vast majority of us are some form of trans, with nonbinary people being the majority. We’re also primarily aroace in terms of demographics (we do a system census every 6 months out of curiosity, though due to the recent SP shutdown that has had to be postponed for a while.)

Hooray /sarc

Not something I can talk about on here as it relates to programming.

it's not something we talk about much online anymore but i really appreciate hearing this!

We're a group of parts in a DID system ( @parts-of-one ). We prefer they/them pronouns. We're an adult.

General/Blog TW:

ITBC (intentional torture based conditioning), system/alter programming (type of ITBC), organized abuse (eg. cults, troubled teen industry), religious abuse, CSA, other forms of child abuse, dehumanisation, self harm and suicide.

We're trauma holders. Each part here holds (vague, fragmented) memories and/or trauma responses related to system programming.

Other parts (such as our host) also talk here sometimes, which is mainly because they're co-front with us or otherwise just want to be involved for whatever reason.

Parts who post here:

🐇 | Host (not an ITBC trauma holder)

💜 | ITBC trauma holder

🐑 | ITBC trauma holder

🐍 | ITBC trauma holder

Z | ITBC trauma holder

Not everyone in the system agrees we've been programmed.

Why we delete some of our posts

DNI:

- kink/fetish blogs

- radqueer (pro-contact, pro-transID)

- endogenic systems

- if you think ITBC survivors are lying, exaggerating or delusional about being a survivor

the other day my programming was triggered and we noticed it and to log it we put it on our simply front status, very few people have access to it but somebody who did was my partner, we never talked about me having programming before because I didn’t know how to bring it up and its scary and just all of that

in the description of the programming status we have a small explanation on what programming is and what programming was triggered/what it may cause (nothing to explicit but an explanation on whats going on)

My partner saw it and apparently reading it triggered her in some way, I feel horrible as at the time I couldnt dtop my programming and tried to comfort her the best I could, I know she didnt want to make it about her and she also felt really really bad, but apart of me feels ashamed for it, I dont know how to bring it up or even talk to her about it again

(Feel free not to post this if it isnt relevant or whatever just needed to get it off my chest)