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Its my father's birthday today, and I just cannot stop thinking about it. The rape he inflicted on us at a young age, the trafficking he enabled and profitted off of, the medication he got prescribed to drug us with, and later the systematic denial of my very identity as a trans woman. I wish I could move on, not let a mere date affect us, but he shaped so much of my childhood that I don't know how. It's haunting how much of a grasp he still holds on the strings of my mind...
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Hello, guys! Is there a pre-existing term for TBMC/non-TBMC like there is for plural/singlet?
"TBMC victim" feels demeaning, "TBMC survivor" feels inaccurate some days, "ex-TBMC" for the same reason. "person who has been through TBMC" is too verbose and some days 'person' feels inaccurate, too.
Sometimes in my head I say "The Program" to refer to myself, and "progged/non-progged" could have potential but program.med is a general word in the English lexicon and thus is lacking for emphasis.
Sometimes I refer to individuals progged with specific archetypes as that archetype, i.e. "They're both Supersoldier(s)" when talking about a TBMC'd in militarized setting/for (para)military purpose, or by the specific program(s), i.e. "They're both Deltas".
Sometimes I say "TBMC'd/non-TBMC'd" and it's concise/to the point but a bit blunt/clunky so I wanna know if there's an agreed-upon term, and if not, do you guys have any ideas for one? What do you use that fits you? (Goes without saying but this is a discussion for TBMC only please. Also I am a singlet if it matters.)
Each time I want to go back, I physically can't, because my handlers are all dead. My callbacks have nowhere to go. I'm lost. Where do I go from here? I feel like I'm losing my mind. Each time I get told to come back, I just freeze, because there is nowhere for me to return to. All is lost.
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A lot of people say RAMCOA isn't real but then go out of their way to play games where their favourites get tortured/trafficked/etc. They have become so engrossed in fiction that they forget that these themes come from somewhere in reality.
My abdomen hurts and contracts and cramps every day, each morning, and it's agonising. Not because of the severe pain, but because it reminds me of what happened.
Hey so like I dont give a fuck if youre privileged enough to believe that ramcoa/oea/tbmc isn't real or is a conspiracy theory (its not but if you want to continue thinking that then whatever beats your horse) then whatever, but can you at least be a decent and keep your stupid bitch asses out of the tags?
There's been at least three or four of people like this in here and thats entirely too many. Imagine if people did that bullshit in other types of trauma survivors posts and started crying the same overtly privileged bullshit you've been doing. Nobody gives a shit that you got so lucky in life you can deny the existence of things that have happened to people we care about and may have happened to us. Go post about it on your private little circlejerk blogs or some shit.
To the survivors reading this;
Your trauma is real and valid
You are not feeding a conspiracy
These things are far more common than people realize
It happened
You are alive to tell your story even if you are now many instead of one
You are not bad for having gone through it
These people invading the tags are writing from places of comfort and cannot even begin to comprehend what you've gone through or are potentially struggling with denial progs.
You are real and you are seen and you are strong.
