"You don't smell good" Thanks our programming that causes severe depression and rapid splitting/switching got triggered and we can hardly do anything but I'm glad you noticed how we smell ! (asshole) -Husker
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"You don't smell good" Thanks our programming that causes severe depression and rapid splitting/switching got triggered and we can hardly do anything but I'm glad you noticed how we smell ! (asshole) -Husker

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I want to talk about the side effects of programming that aren’t actual programs. There’s so much more to the trauma than that, such as:
- refusing to form relationships, especially if local, because of the fear that the new person knows or is affiliated with your abuser(s).
- being able to identify exactly what you are feeling, but unable to express the emotion. happy but can’t smile. sad but can’t cry. angry but can’t scream. scared but you’re not shaking.
- letting people hurt you, or hurting yourself, because you enjoy it. not even thinking you deserve it. you genuinely enjoy being hurt, because it’s all you’ve known.
- avoiding certain buildings, rooms, parks, roads, and places because they feel vaguely familiar, but you don’t know why.
- on the contrary, driving straight to those places for the same reason. you don’t know why, but you have a connection to this place, and you have to go.
- always assuming the worst out of loved ones. your partner forgot to text you before they left? they hate you and are plotting how to leave for good. friend gave you a gift? they’re testing your reaction to see if you really like them.
- struggling with hygiene. not because you deserve to not be taken care of, but because you don’t know how to take care of yourself. you don’t know how to brush your teeth. you don’t know how often to change clothes.
- not knowing the difference between good and bad smells. you’re sweaty and people keep looking at you funny? it’s fine, it’s not that strong. someone says your clothes smell dirty? they were cleaned a week ago, so they’re fine.
- finding people who are positive or happy either weird or stupid. i hate that girl, she’s too bubbly. that guy smiles too much. they’re too nice to me, they probably don’t even know what it’s like to suffer.
and it’s never on purpose. usually it’s never even noticed. this is how we survivors have lived for our whole lives. this is the environment we grew up in, the place we learned to survive. and it’s hard to adjust to a world where you are seen as weird, gross, or mentally unwell. it’s hard to open up and get help from people who think you’re too far gone.
ramcoa and oea resources
ra exists all over the world
about oea
oa
google drive of books
google drive of papers
other important things to know
tumblr post
article about oa and ra
another article
gov site about it
support group
thats all i can find currently but these sites are really good and helpful!! if you have more please send so i can upddate this list
i think its important that ramcoa/oea is talked about more and have more support for the victims.
it is sick that whenever its talked about its always "its a conspiracy though!!" or "we wont go deep in detail as its to scary and triggering!!" like yes i get you dont want to trigger anyone but knowledge is so fucking important and knowing the signs to help people and if you are someone who know you will be triggered by it then dont read it til you know you can also about the "conspiracy" part is fucking wild, what part of cults and trafficking is a conspiracy?? are you saying the ant hill kids never happened? what jefferey epstine did never happened? because that is ramcoa!! those happen and they still are happening and denying it is only hurting the victims and making it so SO hard for them to get out of that situation and get help.
we need more sources to spread awareness and we need more resources on it and so the victims can get help.
i want to make a side blog so people who went throuhg this can speak up and spread awareness too, if i do ill post it here and i also am going to make a masterpost of the information i have on it already with sites, i really hope one day cults, trafficking and any kind of organized abuse ends and the people affected gets the help they need and fully recover.
We just had a several hour long trauma flashback in which we were violently sobbing and screaming our lungs out. It lasted a big portion of the night, and not a single nurse from the night staff came to help us. We were completely ignored while sobbing and screaming and having trauma induced seizures on the bathroom floor.
This is the reality of psychiatric wards.

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We think it's kinda interesting that in discussions of RAMCOA, it's often linked to WW2 & the Nazis or Mk Ultra & the CIA, but never to slavery & the colonization perpetuated by Europe & the USA.
A lot of the things that were done by them is incorporated in a lot of RAMCOA practices (at least in our experience)
Saw that hate ask, and got a question. What do you think about RAMCOA? Not a trick question, just a genuine one.
This is a good thing for us to answer because we had numerous times on our first run of the blog. We 100% believe in RAMCOA/OEA. It's not the same as the Satanic Panic, despite what many may argue. RAMCOA stands for Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse. That is 100% something that happens, even today. No, not in the sense of the satanic panic (i.e. anyone who does that is only because they're satanists or any of that kind of thing) but it does happen. RAMCOA is an unfortunate thing that still happens. For fucks sake, the MC part is one of the most debated. There are actually people out there who abuse people in hopes that it'll cause them DID. Most of those people see DID as something where they can easily manipulate someone into being violent or becoming nothing but submissive to everything they want. That is a legitimate thing. If they fear a child telling, some abusers will try and make it so they never would consider it the moment something is aid or done. RA is ritual abuse. If people doubt this kind of thing happens then get the fuck off our blog, seriously. Ritual abuse absolutely happens, something horrific but is present. Especially for people from things like cults (and before someone says "there's no real big cults we haven't had a Jonestown or Waco in years" let us explain something. There are plenty of places that quite literally fit the definition of a cult. Not all cults are doomsday. Some disguise themselves as innocent churches that by the time someone realizes, it may be too late to easily back out) OA, organized abuse. In case this is debated, let us give you one, one example that's well known. Troubled Teen Industry. That whole thing is organized abuse. Trafficking rings. Cults. Things like that. Absolutely happens unfortunately (again, Troubled Teen industry alone). OEA stands for Organized and Extreme Abuse. If someone actively doubts that happens then yet again, get the fuck off our blog. This shit is real, this shit happens. So, anon, we believe RAMCOA. We believe OEA. No, it is not all Satanic Panic shit. This shit is actually real, unlike that whole bullshit thing of the panic. If you (general you) don't like it then leave the blog. Hate for that will genuinely be deleted, not posted for us to laugh at later.